....are you on your way to 'realizing' it?

Now...about the quotes.....there must be an easier way....the quote button gives the WHOLE post to quote......if I want to quote a 'partial' reply without having to cut cut cut cut...is there a way to select what I want to quote?

technical stuff....could the 'engineer' in the house help me out?

Are we a little irritable today???? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Well, maybe big boy, but I think you will concede that it was the intellectual chemistry between us that got us into our current EA...

BTW, although my WW is not intellectual, she is very intelligent. She has intelligence where I have blind spots and vice versa. OM, for his part, is as dumb as rain. Guess that appealed to her.

Hey, do I know Bigger? Where from? Help me out.

Luna,
You said something that really set-off a bell in my head...ok, so I know you all are thinking there are lots of bells in there and perhaps I should take note, but...Luna said she envisioned herself in NYC and initially it wasn't something she could see but after repeatedly wanting it and visualizing it now she is actually seeing it happen.

A great mentor once told me that you are what you see yourself as...if you want to be say a CEO then visualize it daily, takes steps to get closer, have a plan and stick to it...sound familiar...I think we often get caught up in the pain and stray from the vision due to discouragement and pain. I don't necessarily want to envision something I think is totally unrealistic but happiness is free and not dependent upon anything but ourselves. I think I'm gonna take Luna's optimism and run with it...H or no H. My kids deserve it and so do I; if H happens to hang around and enjoy it then he wins...if not, sorry for him!

Todd...you crack me up with your humor. Do you scream and kick walls when off the board? How do you deal with all of your stress and anger? Are you writing a book? Keeping a journal?

I'm waiting for Pio's made for TV miniseries...entitled...

Yes, avoid the Bag Ladies. Do NOT make eye contact with them under any cirumstances. I have been attacked by two Bag Ladies in my life - one in NYC and one in Boston. The attack in Boston was physical and occurred in the North End for those who know Boston. She even followed me into the restaurant and had to be restrained and shown the door by the manager.

The NYC attack was verbal with physical "overtures". One of NYC's finest put an end to her madness. But darn, did he really have to shoot her? Yes, it was a good shooting as they say.

When you get in a taxi, close your eyes. It is ugly to be going down Broadway at 80 mph.

Keep expectations of your NYC hotel room very very low. NYC, for the money, has the smallest and worst hotel rooms anywhere. Go figure.

And to really blend in and not be a tourista, be especially rude. As you walk down the sidewalks, run into a couple of people. Then stop dead in your tracks and shout: "hey why don't you watch where youse guys are going". Never, ever make eye contact. It is a sign of weakness. For a hapless Southerner like me, this was difficult because we always stop and talk to everyone. But after the fourteenth "Whad are youse guys doing here anyway, get out of my way"; I caught on.

And if there is currently a heat wave, be prepared for the worst weather imaginable. There are two places that are miserable with regards to the weather: NYC in the summer and Chicago in the winter.

Oh yeah, do let the boys throw pennies off the top of the Empire State Building. They hurt. Plus, I still have some of Abe's whiskers stuck in my scalp. Hey, you don't think.....nah.

I hope to steepen your learning curve with my experience.

What humor?

Deal with the stress. What stress?

I am writing a book. How did you know? Every high school English and Lit teacher encouraged me to become a writer. I always dismissed it because my first love was physics. My second BTW was my WW. No, that's not true. The second was the naughty coed Barbara. She was my soulmate. I gave up physics for her. And look where it got me. She was a math major. So, what does she do now? She's an attorney.

I don't plan to have a fourth.

I digress.

The book will be called "Life's Lessons". I have the reputation with my three sons that I know everything about everything. Not true obviously, but it's nice to have your kids think so highly of you. Well, anyway, I am self-taught as it relates to buying houses, cars, financial planning, stocks, etc. All the stuff. So, anyway, while I was ill and not yet diagnosed, I had the feeling I may not be around for very long so that condition spawned the idea for the book. Progress is dreadfully slow and even worse now.

Of course, not the book my teachers had in mind. That all wanted me to write the next great American novel. Is that an oxymoron? I guess I just don't have the motivation honestly. I have no shortage of ideas and even wrote a few chapters but lost interest.

The book I had in mind was going to be entitled "Snowball". It was a clever idea if I say so myself.

As for handling the stress, I am a left-brain person. Every time I take one of those irritating "Are you left or right brain" tests, I peg the needle to the left. But, my emotions run deep, they just don't rule who I am. Now, on DD, I went stark raving mad. I literally ran around the house punching my fist as hard as I could into the wall at muliple locations. I had the good "fortune" of hitting a stud every time. Why is that good? No sheetrock repair was necessary. Why is that bad? My right hand was swollen and painful for two weeks.

What set me off was my WW's verbalized reason for cheating: she thought I was dying. Sorry, I had and still have trouble getting that one. Maybe she will be right before it is all over (ToddAC wallows in self-pity). I just wish she had gotten the sequence of events straight.

And to the idea of visualizing future successes, events, etc., there is a well-known book on this subject. It is entitled "Think and Grow Rich" by Napoleon Hill. He learned the method from no less than Andrew Carnegie. Look at what that guy did. He built a great hall. However, Carnegie is best known as a great purveyor of cough drops. Lucky guy. Can you imagine have cough drops with your name all over the wrappings? My goals feel so meager sometimes.

ToddAC and I go a bit back. I know his humour (or lack of). It’s as black as his coffee. That’s why I sometimes think he is English. That’s also why I allow myself to make borderline inappropriate comments to him…

Pio. Don’t suck it up. Just don’t wallow in misery. It’s like Homer Simpson complaining about his weight while eating a donut. I KNOW you hate it when we compare the WS to an alcoholic so let’s turn this around:

An abstaining alcoholic in line with the 12 step program knows he has the ability and the possibility to drink. He accepts he is basically powerless against that. That is why he works 100% to NOT drinking. He is totally committed to not drinking because he accepts that drinking is a path he could go. I think you have to have a similar mentality if you want this marriage. Because you now know (and hopefully WW as well) that not being married is a real option you commit 100% to the marriage. This is precisely why I think the Florida Incident is good.

I believe many relationships survive affairs but not many marriages… People can move on and be together despite the affair but if they don’t work on improving the marriage then at the minimum they will always have this milestone around their necks. Every now and then it will pop up. For me that’s not reconciliation; its survival or acceptance of an unfulfilled life. I don’t think piojitos wants this: he wants full recovery and a full relationship. He will not accept compromises and he should not accept compromises.

Below the post box is a menu of Instant UBB Codes. Click the quote one to place the quote code automatically in the post box. Then go to the post written below that you are responding to and use the mouse to drag the text you want to quote and copy and paste with the mouse in between the two quote brackets. I hope that makes sense but it is really easy to do. Using the quotes makes your post a lot easier to read.

Anyone????

"is there a way to SELECT what I want to quote within a post?"

2much,


...it's a much much more empowering attitude, don't you thing, 2much?

Todd,


...I know...I am hoping the heat wave will have passed....

....thanks, Todd, my 'learning curve' has been steepened, for sure! ...I am ready for Mount Everest...Kilomagaro (sp).... you name it!


....so....in what 'field' did you end up 'earning a living' in?

....and why not a 'fourth'? ....like....writing...

Personally I picked up my 'painting brushes' from 20 yrs back...who knows....there may be another (name your favourite artist) somewhere in me!

....Todd...hitting pillows would do just as well...minus the bleeding knuckles (sp?)

...your WS just proved that 'anything' can be used against you.....

Thanks, Pio, just crossed posts with you.....will work on it....

....anything to make life easier for my fellow MBers..... life is stressful as it is already!

...I am hoping to be able to keep my (...)

...it helps me to....PAUSE....and THINK....

What can I say...please be kind!

Well bigger I have been asking myself some fundamental questions rather than hit the A head on. Can I survive the A? Probably. Many people seem to so I guess I should to. The questions I am dealing with are:
1) am I happier with WW or without her?
2) Do I still love WW?
3) Does WW make me happy?

If we do stay in this M, some things will definitely have to change. For one thing I won't be buying any more shoes any time soon.

I started a group and sold a service to American blue chip companies. Brand new service. Tough selling in the beginning but it soon caught on and they wondered how they did business without it. After doing that for a while, I sold the business and retired at age 50. Then promptly got sick. What's those Lennon song lyrics? Life is what happens while you are busy making other plans? Something like that.

My new vocation was going to be golf. I soon learned why it's a four letter word. It is a most diabolical game. I was much kinder to it that it was to me.


Well, why not a fourth woman? It's because of that five letter word: tr*st. I may get it someday but for now, I am resigned to live the rest of my life alone. Unless I make to Russia or the Ukraine.

As for writing, I don't know. Right now, I couldn't do it. I struggle just to post here. I am doing better than I thought I would however. My memory is the worst problem.

I just can't place Bigger.



Honestly, pillows don't do it for me. No physical pain feedback. You see, the human body acts as a feedback mechanism to tell the brain that action has occurred, release some endorphins. Then the pain sets in and that completes the servo system. What do to then? Well, the pain infuriated me for being so stupid for hitting the wall. To compensate for my error in judgment, I started hitting the kitchen cabinets. Not smart. Cracked a door. $380 to have it replaced and stain matched to the existing sun faded cabinets.

Infidelity is a messy and expensive hobby.



I guess. What is so bizzare to me is that she thought that reason would be easy for to accept. As she put it, "if I had known how much it would hurt and anger you, I wouldn't have done it". Hmm.... what is that called? Lack of empathy maybe. Maybe. She remains non-remorseful and has no guilt whatsoever. "What did you expect me to do, just sit around and wait for you to die? I was lonely". Did I mention that was her charm that I initially found so overwhelming attractive?

You know the one big advantage of having a physics major is that the absolute worst you can do is graduate second in your class. I think the only thing lonelier would be civil engineering.

Hi Todd,

Thanks for taking the time to answer my 'dry' questions.....



...since I CAN'T retire early....I won't have to remember that.....



...why not, indeed!



Your WS is tooooo much... another 'catch up' question: what's the status? .....plan A...plan B..... WS moved out.....plan D? This helps me put some'faces' to the names type-of-thing...

in my case....WS maintains that meeting OW, his soulmate, was 'destiny' at work...oh pleeeeease....curious to know how 'destiny' will do when it will meet up with 'reality'.....



Todd...sorry.....didn't realize how serious it was....and I know humour helps.....but...being faced with our mortality can't be much fun...

I have told gemela several times that she was so fortunate that God sent me to Mexico to meet her and then got me transferred to Dubai where I met the guy who convinced me to go to work in Saudi Arabia and that, during that time he gave us two children that would just be at the age where they needed swimming lessons in Saudi all just so she would finally be able to meet her soulmate. Destiny is really complicated.

Possibly. But the civil engineers I know believe that civil is the only pure engineering discipline. They do not believe that the other types of engineers are really engineers.

Last I remember ToddAC was living with one of his sons and left the family home to his WW and her collection of GWTW dolls - some of which may have gotten sucked out when the tornado removed the roof from the house. It may be that OM has moved into the family home with WW.

Just so you know, dear Pio, I answered!

It's good to see you posting again.

I didn't see the answer. Tell me where to look. It has been a while.

I'VE SLEPT SINCE THEN........

Oh my.

I'll go look and link it....

BTW: Again having issues with piojitos. A-FREAKING-GIN!

Tell your kinfolk to leave us alone!