Didn't say you would.........What I am saying is that I've seen and heard it before, some spouses/BFs/GFs have insisted "it's either the dog or me" - leaving someone heartbroken and miserable, and yes, that is horrible.

As I've said before, it's cool that you don't want the dog in your home - you're not being unreasonable. It's just up to your GF now to understand that. As long as you understand also that maybe she just can't come over as much as you'd like her to - because she's got her pup at home that she's responsible for.

I think there are certain lifestyle preferences that just shouldn't get too serious about each other. Hunters and militant vegans, fundamentalists of opposing religions, and pet people with non-pet people.

I may be projecting my own attitude onto her, but please tell me you aren't hoping to have her move in some day and keep the dog outside in a kennel. Most of us dog people couldn't do that to our best friends.

If you want to maintain separate residences and work out a way to visit each other without conflict, that's fine. Or if she can live without a dog, you two can wait out this one's lifetime. But a lot of us dog people really aren't happy unless we have one.

To all, thank you for all your input. It seems we are somewhat split on the subject but.. that is life.

I spoke with GF tonight on the phone. I told her my concerns with having a pet in the house and that I take a lot of pride in the work I have done to my home. However, I told her I realize her dog is family to her, and that she loves him very much. I emphasized that this is not about choosing me over the dog, but comprimise and coming up with a solution.

We decided to talk more about this and to see what we can come up with so we both are comfortable. (And my friends, this is something my X would have NEVER done!)

I read all of your posts today and seen different views on the subject. Some of you live and breath your pets, some like pets to a point, some don't care for them. The bottom line though is working through differences with GF cause we aren't going to agree on everything. (Actually, this post had little to do with pets, but more to do with working through a relationship problem).

By the way, my GF is a sweetheart. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

This will be my last post on the subject - I promise!

I'm happy to hear that you and your GF are communicating well on the subject, because yes, you are right, you will never agree on everything - and this is a wonderful test on solving a relationship problem. I'm confident that you will both find a satisfactory solution. Yes, it's all about compromise! Yes, this is what your original post was about - compromise.

I think that I, who I'm guessing fall into the "live and breathe" our pets category you listed above, was just trying to convey is that for some people, our relationship with our four-legged pets can be just as strong as the relationship that parents have with their children, and that doesn't make us "nutcases". For the record, I don't live and breathe my pets, I simply take my responsibility for their care as seriously as parents do caring for their children. Is that a bad thing??

OK, I'm off my soap box, and gonna go sit in my rocking chair and have my 82 cats sit on my lap!!

Have a GREAT day!

This is good stuff. Good job. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

I agree with AGG - this would seem to be a dealbreaker. I think it is more than likely that the GF, and certainly her children, will want a new dog when this one dies - if you can't deal with an adult dog, how would you deal with a puppy?

I have to wonder in what areas you ARE compatible. The GF's househould seems far more casual than yours. I can't imagine raising kids without at least one dog (my kids are currently lobbying, unsuccessfully, for dog #3 and cat #4), but I think this is indicative of far deeper lifestyle differences. I must admit that I cringed when I read the "jewel of the town" description. I wouldn't be able to stand living in a house that perfect - I can't imagine how her kids would ever adjust.

What are you going to do when her kids try on their new ice skates and walk across your refinished floors because they don't realize that ice skates scratch? Some things you can't have a rule for, because it would never occur to you that kids could do something so idiotic - but kids are not born with infinite knowledge or common sense.

"Some things you can't have a rule for, because it would never occur to you that kids could do something so idiotic"

Nellie, you just described my life.

I had a very casual relationship with a man for a few months. Some kissy facey but not much else. While at my house I gave my dog a kiss on the head & he asked if I was going to wash my lips.

Between that & him looking at her as if she were something nasty & maybe contagious I figured out he wasn't a dog lover. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

You kissed your dog on the head. And then you expected him to kiss you on the lips??

Really, now I have heard it all.

Unless the dog has been rolling in the septic tank overflow, the top of his head probably has fewer germs than the inside of either person's mouth.