have been reading (again) here alot, and now on another board about midlife crisis (someone here replied to my post and recommended i check that out).

i have posted before about my sitch, but right at my H's 35th bday, he had a "break"--he started with the mood swings, i got the "ILYBINILWY" speech, "dunno if i want to be married", "dont need anybody (think i might want to be all alone)", "dont want to try". as i have said in recent posts, i do have concerns about an EA and am actively working to determine this for sure..there very well might be an EA going on, but in counseling with steve today..he wasnt ruling it out, but not so completely sure it wasnt more "recreational flirting"--altho he def said its hurting me was a very significant issue. (ie he wasnt disregarding the sitch with flirting etc, but not so sure it was a fullblown EA..maybe).

i am confused and was hoping for some insight into MLC and how you think that played into your M issues--and how to best handle both a midlife crisis. it seems that MLC advisees say to lay off these guys (gals) some, and let them work to figure out their issues. seems to take some a LOOONNNNGGGG time tho, and i certainly cannot tolerate the flirting etc for that whole time (i know you wont advise me to anyhow..)

its just very confusing.

thanks...

I don't know what a midlife crisis is, but your H's behavior has ALL the earmarks of a garden variety affair, so I would focus on that. The solution to an affair is not to "lay off" unless you are finished with your marriage. If you are finishd, then you should lay off.