So, my H has had an EA, which he views as not really having an A at all. I am trying to compose a letter that explains how I feel and why I think it was an A.

So what is it exactly that bothers me the most about their connection? I can't quite put my finger on it. I don't like that he had a closeness to this OW, but that's not it. They shared alot of innuendo, and that rubs me the wrong way. But I don't think that's it either. I'm trying to be concise in this letter. I guess I'm just a bundle of nerves trying to get my feelings across to him, and I'm not very clear.

So any advice is welcome.

Thanks,
Z

was a lot of it kept secret from you?

Lies, deceit, secrets, he's getting too close to someone else, and the biggest is the breach of trust and lack of empathy and compassion for you and your feelings.

Yes lake53, it was put to me that they were 'just friends', but just friends don't talk to each other the way they did.

Eagle15, he was getting close to someone else, and it was as if I didn't exist in their conversations. That bothered me alot. I think this is the right road to go down for me.

H didn't fit the exact profile for an EA, but their relationship certainly seemed headed that way. What I heard was awful.

Z

Dear Husband,

When I recall our early years together I remember how we shared our hopes and desires with each other. Everything was so exciting and you were my handsome prince that was so full of promise. I fell in love with you and I could see in your eyes that you loved me. Every day was another day that I could be with you. No one else existed except you and me.

Now I see you sharing yourself with another woman and I feel expendable. It is a hurt that leaves me empty and alone. I know that you tell me things like, “don’t worry, it’s nothing”. But your actions betray your assurances and worse then that they betray your heart.

As long as she is important to you, I will become less and less important. Please, no words, as there are none that can comfort me. I sit and wonder what terrible thing I must have done to deserve the pain that comes from seeing you with another woman. I pray that one day I will again become your most prized desire.

Your loving wife

Best of luck,

Mr. G

you and he should both read this thread:

15 steps to unfaithfulness

Wow, Mr.G. that's excellent!

I really hope this does what I need it to do.

Techie, I read that thread. I guess I need to print it out for H to read.

I find it so hard to believe anything H tells me about this situation. I need actions, not words, and I hope he follows through. We shall see.

Thanks everyone,
Z