A very faithful friend mentioned to me that you have a great attitude and that we may have similiar situations. I did a search on your posts to read your story but found so many that were on other topics, I decided to start another thread.
I have been a Christian since I was 4 months pregnant with our soon to be 15 yo d. I always believed in God and never doubted the Bible but it was not until that day that I accepted Christ and it became so real that he died for me!
Shortly over a year ago, the OW calls me at work and alleges her two children, ages 15 & 9, belong to my h. She alleged there is and never was a r, she was a ONS who found out later that she was pregnant and then thought my h had a right to know and called him several months later. "Secret" visit with the 1st child, somehow turned out to not be able the child at all, and a 2nd OC was born.
My h and ever one I would confront when I would hear and OW or OC rumor would deny everything. And I believe they would have taken it to the grave had I not diligently seeked the truth.
My d-day was the day after our 19th wedding anniversay last year. I have yet to meet either of my step-c. And of course, their (my h and OW) story is that now I am to blame for the OC circumstances and why they dont see my h more often. My ILs, who I had figured out years ago had major personal problems, of course showed their rear and befriended OW and act like the OC are their life, carelessly pushing aside our 2 children, ages 22 and 14 as if they were nothing.
The 16 y o OC girl is no doubt a very confused and conflicted girl and has demanded that she have exclusive times with my h (almost as if she thought she was to pick up where the OW left off). They say the 10 y o boy doesnt have a clue but I think that is false.
I can believe the 1st ONS story=----because my h confessed it one year later---and our m was really good for awhile after that. I had confronted the OW via telephone....I found the number in his coat pocket, and of course she denied knowing my h. He denied everything and like a fool, I trusted. He confessed the A but left out a child was born. He says he asked for a paternity test and the OW refused and it was supposed to be come see "the child" and I wont tell your wife.
My year of waiting before I make a life critical decision has not resulted in my h taking much responsibility. Our m, our home, is quite a bit better than d-day, more peaceful, etc... But my h never wants to discuss A or OC. My h's c with the children has been about 2 times a month since d-day.
Just recently I decided enough time has past that I am a bit more emotionally stable and all have had plenty of time to adjust and deal with their problems. So I am about to insist no more 2 seperate families, no more exlusion of me and our d. No more visits without us.
It will probably be into adulthood if ever, if the 16 y o girl ever will realize I did not create her circumstances and she needs to focus her anger toward those who did and not me.
The 10 y o boy, well I dont think I am going to step aside for c that excludes our d and I anymore.
Any advice, insight, etc. would be greatly appreciated.
God Bless YOu
Ann
