I just left a message at MB for an appt. with Dr. Harley. Any thoughts would be appreciated. Thanks K

I just called them on the radio and got thru..they are awesome. I am sure you'll value the appt. Let us know how it goes.

I sure will. thanks.

This is Karen's original thread. <------- Click here.

~ Marsh

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> A few thoughts. Prepare beforehand. WIth an outline of your sitch. What you have done and all the questions you would like to address. There are a couple of MBers who have counselled extensivley with SH. And he has helped them tremendously. ANd has often gotten through to the WS too. Especially when it is a WH.

I iwll check to see and provide either a link or a callout to the SH counselled BSs

Excellent plan. On a related note, have you read the MB books? THey are VERY helpful. SAA, HN/HN etc. You can find a list of recommened books here Bookstore

Good advice,FA, about being prepared before your appointment. Have your questions ready before time. That way you'll make the most of the time you have w/ him.

I went looking for the threads myself, but couldn't find them.

~ Marsh

Okay, another thing. Will it be Steve Harley that you are setting up the appointment with? Once it is confirmed, you can send him an email prior to the appt so that you have filled him in on details and your goals, etc.

FA - I will confirm that & will follow your direction. Did you find any threads that I could look at? I tried a bunch of searches & came up empty. I already started my list of things to discuss, background, etc. Thanks again. K

OKay here are a few threads to read over. THere is a major overload of information. SO don't overdo it. But you will get a general id. THis is NOT a short term kind of thing. THis is a long term commitment.


Dr Willard

Heartsore

Darn! Quick Reply doesn't take more than 2 urls.

http://www.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/sho...rue#Post3100484

http://www.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/sho...rue#Post3032344

The first link is the thread I told you about in my last e-mail to you, Karen. It's the one about AmIok.

The other one looks good too. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Good job, FA. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

~ Marsh

Hi Karen,

I have spoken with SH several times and he is very helpful in helping you UNDERSTAND the dynamics of what is happeing and how to create a PLAN.

He will most likely start by asking you many questions so he uderstands you situation and then he will explain why the WS acts the way they do and what lead them to there.

He will most likely ask you how your energy level (lovebank) is as he will most often recommend a seperation when it's low. This is because the BS tends to LB more and can do more harm than good when our lovebank is on low.

Ask him specifics on what you should do given your situation.

He is big on being VERY repetative to the WS with a mantra like "We can be happy again" or "Wouldn't it be wonderful if our kids had two parents who were in love with each other?"

Make sure you have a pen and pad and take many notes.

He will help you alot.

Good luck.

We have done counseling with Steve Harley. At first, it was just me, and now it is both WH and I.

First, and this is probably way beyond nit-picky, but I just want to be sure that we're talking about the same person .... we counsel with Steve Harley. He is not a Dr., he is Dr. Willard Harley's son. Dr. Harley is the one who wrote the books and has the radio show, but I'm pretty sure he's out of the individual counseling gig these days.


As far as counseling with Steve goes, read SAA, HNHN, and the "Basic Concepts" section of the website first.

Steve is very logic and plan-oriented. He will give you specific, detailed steps, and even wording if you need it. He gives you a plan, and will probably have you try to get your WH to talk to him -- he'll even tel you how to do that (mine talked to him, and that was when WH was DEEP in the middle of the A and totally done wite me and the marriage).

From a practical side ... his very first appointment in the morning and his 12:30 Central time appointments are usually the only ones he's not late to. But, to me, that's not too aggrivating, because I know he'll run long with me if I need it, too.

And I second whoever said to take a lot of notes. I have a specific notebook set aside for that.

Any specific questions?

-AmI.