no i don;t mind, we have no children togeather all childern are from previous marraige.

She is leaving I am not and it will be touture... broke down last night after she was sleeping...


yes she had the internet EA in on online game and is likly addicted to the game... I have no eidance of contact since i talked to OM, and i have been looking, although she has tried to contact him he isn't responding...

Yes she appears to be trying, says she needs space as i am smothering (and i probably am) Some of my intel makes it look like a more permante situation then what she is saying...

she says she wants to leave becuase to much stress and tension in the home... I am smothering...

she claims temproray, if it goes well over the next month maybe a little more we can continue MC and work to recon, yes needs space... If i push for an answer it would be a D if i don't pust it is well see how it goes... If it dosn't go well it would be over...

She will take children will leave her dog...

well everyone is advising she D me... i don't know what she has said but it seems she turned all her friends and family aganist me


first 6 years were great, 7th was very hard, money tight due to drop in pay, also was very tense after the internet addiction and EA... Our Sf wasn't great, however when we do it it is great... i kind of withdrew for a while after i discovered first internet game BF last march, asked her to quit the game and she didn't.... so i went into my shell to some degree... then money got tight.... so the past 11 months SF wasn't real good...

I am also probably hyper-vigalant according to my shrink... looks like I am controling/ out of control... however genisis was due to PTSD... not control.... shrink thinks this is due to truma from last marrage when caught my Former W doing the OM... That was very trumatic for me... she told my W that yesterday, her internet thing probably triggered my hyper-vigalence state...

i am in the plus side on all her EN... I have problems with Love Busters...


hope that helps

Living in he**

Try to calm down. All this stuff is very stressful. Keep making your changes, don't have angry outbursts or say disrespectful things to her.

Make it safe for her to talk to you. She is painting you as the bad guy in all of this. Don't give her any ammunition!!

I just though a ray of hope...

Her Gf wants out of her house dad and mom fight)
she is 25 and single... this will be her 1st time away from Mom and dad... She also appears to be a neat nick as she refuses to wear anything that isn't ironed first...

Well Ws kids are anything but neat... and if she thinks 2 kids are bad consider when it becomes 5 kids... Teen boys lying on couch doing PS2, dishes everywhere, cloathing everywhere, 1 bath room and teen boys who don't lift the seat... no peace or quite execpt her Bedroom....Anyone who has kids know what i am talking about...You can quickly be overwelled... I doubt friend has considered these things...

All is awsome and rosy now...

How will ms 25 and single adapth to the role of parent? No fun and freedome as a parent... she can't bring home her GF (if W isn't her gf)when she wants, if they are GF they have to sneak...

W is thinking Friend will babysit when we go out and do things. or on weekends when she picks up hours at second job to make ends meet... She will have to Babysit Girls when W goes to pick up her boys every other friday and sunday (7 hour round trip). (the minivan is mine) W has a small car... Frind my not have figured on being built in babysitter... that may very well grow old, quickly..

The appt rules are very restrictive, no partys, no loud music... and her teenage boys like load music and can be teenage boys and rough house... the appt won't like that...

7 people in a 2 bed room apart can get pretty cramped...

The computers W is allowed to take (her old one and the craptop) are both POS, and won't support the games the boys like to play. The computers also don't play W game very well..

GF likes myspace... W like games as do her daughters and boys...the kids fights over the internet, TV, PS2 will be intense, there are now with 3 highpower machines online and the craptop... and the fights are intense, imagine only 1 crappy puter online with everyone compeating for time. I would pay to see that...

Will Gf enjoy W online gamming? and having to play mommy and maid...

For the boys no more head to head duals. No more big screen for the PS2... No more bedroom or space... how long before the teen boys miss my toys and privacy and decide it just isn't fun to come anymore...

we currently do 2 loads of wash a day (big front loader)
no washer and dryer in the appt... now it is luandry mat time at 1.50 a load...

And what about when something happens a car breaks, no more mr fix everything...

I guess i am woundering how long the green grass last. W may come to discover I wasn't so bad, also GF may discover it isn't all peaches and cream being a parent...


On a side note me and w have recently resumed having SF... maybe the withdrawn of OM is starting to wear off...

while i don't like her leaving, it may also not be all bad... if Gf sees other side, of life, H the jerk and W the saint may fade... the bloom may come off the rose...

Thoughts, comments appreciated...

bump

I know it is hard to just let them go. But usually that is what really wakes them up. The new fantasy life isn't going to be what she is dreaming about - that's for sure.

I would go out and buy some popcorn and sit back and watch.

you think my idea may have some merit?

Yes, get the popcorn - they won't last a month.

Are your children staying with you?

only the fur kids (my and her dog)

Okay, is this about right? She has 6 kids and is moving in with a lesbian?

yes more or less

she has custody of 2, her ex has custody of 2 and the remaining 2 are aduilts.

She is attempting to move in with a co-worker/best friend who is also a lesbein if the appt accepts the credit check

I do not know and have no evidance either way if W is involved with friend or is just a close friend. i am having difficulty figuring a way to find out one way or the other. When she moves most intel I get will stop.

she says she is getting space and will be continuing to work for recon, again no way to verify at this time... we are in MC togeather volenterrly...

Ok i came to this site late and really have just started to get my act togeather, broke about all the rules for a decent plan A since i didn't know about it... I have been pretty intense and smothering...

I was trying to start implemention of a plan A the past few days when she decided to move out.. I am working to elimanate LB. and meeeting EN...

There has been no know contact with Internet EA that I can find. Since i disclosed to him she was married... I have been watching she has tried he has her on ignore...

over the past 2 days she is resumed having nookie... and has been "cuddly", we reamin sleeping togeather at least until she moves...

In generial, I am pretty lost with this turn of events and was hoping the pros here could get me on track...


tnx

"over the past 2 days she is resumed having nookie... and has been "cuddly", we reamin sleeping togeather at least until she moves..."

Good on you!!! That is very promising. Continue Plan A, and making the changes you can make.

I think you can see that this the living situation with her friend is never going to work out. Let her go give it a try. There is nothing like reality to end the fantasy.

Well today is roses day every saturday she gets a dozen...
<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> Of course next friday she gets 2 dozen (feb 11 we are married 1 year) delivered to her office! we have concert tickets next saturday night, to bad kids our in town... i think she said kids will be out here next weekend...

I do see a lot of pontential problems with the living arrangment yes... they are both thinking awsome (that statement makes me worried)... I wish i could understand what she is thinking...

Can I do a plan A if she moves out? I would imagine that requires we are remaining in contact...

How do you folks suggest I handle the move out? I don't want to help, don't want to pout, don't want to be happy...don't want to be angry... what do i want to be?

If she moves out, stay in Plan A, at least for a couple of months.

I would not help her move out. Does she have a lot of heavy furniture to move?

no not much heavy stuff... I am told her lady co-workers who all hate me by the way are going to help her... a bed, fouton, desk, couple dressers, and cloathing couple small tv's... some dishes stuff like that....

Most of the house I newly furnished prior to our wedding...

should i be here when she moves out or be gone and have someone mind the fort... one of my olders sisters comes to mind but they would have rather sharp claws out i think... for little brother...:)

Personally, I would be there, just to make sure what goes. Try to have someone there as a witness.

Are you planning to stay in that house?

you darn right i am the sole person on the morgage, I am not going anywhere...

In that case, I would wait to see if she moves, and then reclaim your home. Get it nice a sparkly clean, warm and welcoming.

I imagine your wife will be doing some visiting just to escape the chaos.

That was already on my agenda... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />


I just watced an intresting movie with W, she seems distant tonight... was an intresting line at the end of the movie...

I can live without you, I just don't want too... pretty much sums things up... wish I would have said it...

I'm amazed she will sit and watch a movie with you. Sounds like things are better for you than they are in most of the cases here.

Keep up the good work until she leaves, if she leaves.

actually 2 movies...

she was cold and mad ofter disclosure, wouldn't sleep with me no nookie, ho hugs... latley she has thawed some...

she was real distant tonight, kind of stand offish... came to bed not snuggly, then she got up around midnight, played her game a bit then went to sleep on the couch...

I don't know what is bothering her, but i can fell that something is weighing heavyly on her mind... I wish she would talk to me about what ever is bothering her...

she has done very little prepairing for the move... just little stuff... and she is thinking of moving monday or tuesday if the appt application goes through...

i wonder if she is rethinking the move... but the wheels are already set in motion... I don't know... It just bothers me when she is troubled...