OMG..TWO OF YOU IN ONE DAY....

I'M ABOUT TO BE SICK... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

YOU DO NOT ADMIT THIS IN A PUBLIC FORUM...

WHERE ARE MY ANTI-GODDESS CITATIONS?????

Bugs:

Never reveal the price tag!

Call the Harleys and get something scheduled. When you get to certain points in this struggle, you need someone who you can talk to you in real time, and understands all the things we have been talking to you about here. That why a local MC doesn't work as well.

He might be done with OW, he might not be. Approach it like you have, that you are out to win this thing, with so many more arrows in your quiver than you had before.

Not dinner at FIL's. Your Family Home.

Nothing wrong with meeting Drac elsewhere for Dinner, just the two of you....

LG

BTW Mimi: Who's the other "Payless" Shopper round here?

Mimi,

Calm down dear

Remember, it's about THE LOOK!

I learned this secret YEARS ago when I was voted Best Dressed in school -- wearing 98% Home Made clothes! My grandmother is a Fabulous seamstress!

I take great pride in looking and being the Goddess that I am AND having a Savings account,too! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

I am plan A'ing my butt off!

Drac called Early to tell me he'd be late and ask if DSS could eat here.

I joked about starving DSS. He is eating like a true teenage boy these days. We talked about DSS for a while. Drac wants so badly for him to play sports but it has never been his thing.

This time when Drac mentioned football, and said DSS expressed interest, I just listened. No pointing out that DSS just wants to please Drac


He shared some details of challenges at work-during which he recounted a concersation w/an employee of his in which drac says 'I know I have a bit of immaturity about me"

He said it a couple of times

I bit my tongue, did not laugh and did not make 1 single comment! New Bugs-not old Bugs who would have taken the opening to make HER points on that comment!

After he finished telling me about the sitch, I told him ,"sounds like you handled it perfectly! In fact, you did much better than I did when I had that same sitch"

Can you spell ADMIRATION?

So, am making enough dinner for us all.n including Drac. Will ask him to eat when he gets here.

Do I sound WAY too pleased w/myself? Sorry! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

BUGS!

You GO!

LG

NO, you don't sound way tooo pleased! A job well done deserves to be appreciated...it's cool to appreciate ourselves...

pat ourselves on the back! have an AIR about us! All shining through...

Bugs, the Plan A master!!! LMAO <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Hey Bugs - I saw the reference to Fernando on Rin's thread.

Check this out:

http://snltranscripts.jt.org/84/84dfernando.phtml

Maybe I need a new screen name? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

I got a fever! And the only prescription.. is more cowbell!

LOL

E, you ahve WAYYY to much time on your hands! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

You all kill me! LOL!!

Glad you have time on your hands,,,to keep me amused!

I took DSS over to Drac's last night. Was invited to 'Sit down'. Kids went out to play and FIL went in his room. We just talked about general stuff

DD said bye to everyone when it was time to go. Then,,

Drac got up from the couch and came over to give me a HUG!

I almost fainted from surprise! We were then standing there for a second talking about something silly, so I made sure to lean in close enough to touch,,just little side rub. Then we left,,,light and breezy.

Not a huge thing, but I think a bit of progress.

I just started reading your post and it brings much heartache and saddness to me. THis is exactly what I am going through.

Where do I find out about Plan A ? What is it ? The conversations youve had just in the first couple posts are exactly like mine.

Please check my post out too and see if you can help me grow and win mine back....

{{INH}},

There is a cyber hug for you!

I am so sorry you are here, but if you are in a situation like mine, this is a great place to come for help.

First, start w/Harley's basic concepts, get his books, Surviving an Affair, and His Needs/Her Needs. Check them out at the library if you can't buy them.

Read posts of folks who have been/are in PlanA.

Post questions on your thread. I will try to read it later today and will post to you there

If you haven't yet, give as much detail on your history and current situation.

There are lots of folks around here who are more experienced than I am, but most everyone really wants to help and you will get lots of great input

Hang in there!

Again..I very STRONGLY RECOMMEND a session with STEVE ASAP...

I think you are on the BRINK...

His COACHING will REALLY, REALLY HELP!!!

Mimi,

Ok, I am calling today to schedule an appt.

I am going to go back thru my entire thread to write out a summary of everything. I want to make the most of my 45 minutes.

Even though it's worth every penny, it isn't cheap.

Will let you know when it is scheduled!

Look at it as an INVESTMENT for your FAMILY'S FUTURE...

BTW, I'm still not OK with that public announcement of where you buy your shoes!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

LMAO...boy do I have a lot to learn...LMAO...no public announcements of where we buy our shoes, WHAT else do I need to know MIMI? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" />

Well, BUGS, looks like you have alot of work to do! Preparing for court it took me days to go through my sitch...then I had to go BACK through it to make sure I had everything...

Anyone what to help me pick out some paint colors for when I move back in the house? LMAO <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

YOu can send me suggestions via email!!! LMAO <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

Morning!

I left a message yesterday afternoon about scheduling that appt.

Fyi to anyone interested, the MB office is open 8am to 2pm Central time. If you leave your number, they will call you back, but will not leave a message unless you say it is ok to leave one. Good coverage of your privacy if your WS still lives with you!

Rin, what are we going to do after you have success in court today and finally start getting some sleep?? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />.

Drac called last night after 5 asking if I was headed home yet - I said no. He asked how long I'd be, I said a couple of hours. He said,'Oh I forgot you were going out tonight'

I had not told him I was going out, but he knows on Wed I almost never go straight home. It is my night w/o the kids and I make sure HE is the one to pick them up. He KNOWS that,,,+ think he was just checking up on me

He said he'd forgotten to tell me he had to prep for an early meeting this am and was going to be late. Whatever.

He called back about an hour later to give me some work 'scoop' and was on his way home. He did ask who I was with in a casual way. I told him the girlfriend I was with. I did not tell him at that time that some other folks i/we knew had stopped by as well. I did not know they would be there.

Later I called to say goodnight to the kids and we talked again. I told him about the other folks that came by former co-workers of his/ours who said to tell him hello.

One guy is the person who originally hired me and has been like a Dad to me for years. He worked with Drac at the other place where Drac and the Ho got together. I got a few more details on that from him.

The other guys used to work with Drac for a limited time and a third guy still works at our same company. Guy#3 is someone Drac does NOT like, I think it is a jealousy thing w/me. #3 and I have been friends from way before I knew Drac-just friends, but Drac has always been jealous. In fact, we have made a point not to talk much because of Drac.

Drac called this am on his way to drop the kids w/me, as I asked him to do. I told him I was in the shower,,,rather hoping he'd come in to say hello, but he didn't.

I sent him a TM-'too busy to say hi? I am disappointed, as I was thinking you might have time for 'dessert':)"

Later I sent another TM 'Good luck w/your meeting today! You will do great!'. This one reenforced that message from our conversation last night. Trying to show lots of admiration!

So, on to work with some breaks to work on the history of my sitch in prepping for my appt w/Steve, which I hope will be real soon!

Bugsmom, I hope wanted to post to you for a minute and let you know your story was the first one I read. Your story is so touching and inspirational...to everyone. You are so selfless and so willing to put yourself out there it is amazing...I have prayed for you and your wh numerous times over the past weeks. I am struggling in my marriage and how did you get past the hurt and anger of not wanting to rip him limb from limb...I am struggling it just seems to my h I am trying to be the loving wife ...but I am still furious and hurt...emotions change constantly...keep up the good fight and just know you are in my thoughts daily.......

Well, I guess I still can't answer that question! Being that we have a new sitch!

G8,

thanks so muich for your post, your kind words, and your prayers! That was so sweet!

I am so very sorry that you are here,,,,but if you are struggling in your M, then this is the place to be for help. The MB concepts, the books, the Plans, and the people here can really help you! It's been a Godsend to me, that's for sure.

Anger? Yep! Got myself some of that, too! What to do with that anger is the question, isn't it? Can't Kill 'Em! And the answer to what to do with the anger can change from moment to moment.

I've beaten the heck out of my pillows, I've cried out to God (many times), I have prayed, I have screamed at the top of my lungs, I have cried for days, I have kicked (an broken) my porch, I've gotten mediciation, I've vented here LOTS of times, and I've even let it fly at Drac a couple of times.

But, then when I'm done with that, I always end up coming back to the same place. I love my H, and I want to save my M.

So,,,,,, I pick myself up, dust myself off, do whatever is necessary to get back to Goddess Mode, and decide what the next step is in the Plan, and then I just do it. I set the anger and fear aside. I don't let them control me or keep me from doing what I can to save my M.

It's not easy. It's very very hard at times. However, I also know this will not be like this forever, so I take it day by day. One way or another, this will change. As long as I can hold my head high, knowing I've done all I can to save my M, and that I did it with class, then I will be happy.

Hang in there!!! Let us know how we can help you. Have you started your own thread? Sorry, I haven't been keeping up much with newer threads due to time constraints!

Rin- what time is court?

Yes..I have cried out to the LORD also...I am 35 and this is my first time going thru something like this...I have posted my own thread ...H left for a week and came home . I let him...but it seems harder on me with him here dealing with it than when he was gone ...but family and friends stated how important it was to get him back into the house...i have a hard time with PRIDE...how dare you do this to me...but I have worked on that and we have had some soul searching conversations....it comes down to I guess a EA...which hurts just as bad to know your spouse is speaking about you and intimate details of your marriage with another woman...it burns me..because trust me I know he wasnt prasing me...no it was poor me my wife is ...blah blah blah blah...and to a woman that is just like opening up a door and saying come an in...I'll take care of you...........