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Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 51
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Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 51 |
Post-exposure: WH is starting to say that he wants to be with me. He is trying to meet MY EN. That all sounds great, huh? Well, he STILL won't give up OW although he has admitted that ending it with her means NO CONTACT.. otherwise, it's a joke. I feel like he's trying to manipulate me even more by acting and saying what he thinks I want to hear. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
Olive, just stick to your Plan A. Tell him your marriage only has room for two ppl, not three, and he needs to lose the OW. Do your best to attract him back and keep up your pressure on the affair.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 4,222
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Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 4,222 |
It takes several months of NC before the fog begins to lift, and at least a year or two before it is gone altogether.
Jim BS - 32 (me) FWW - 33 Married 8/31/03 No kids (but 3 cats) D-Days - 8/25/06 (EA), 11/3/06 (PA) NC agreed to - 11/8/06 NC broken - 11/28/06, 12/16/06, 1/18/07, 1/26/07, 1/27/07 Status - In Recovery Jim's Story
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Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 51
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Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 51 |
Well, unfortunately, we will never get there. WH went and saw OW yesterday and it was OBVIOUS in his attitude. He still thinks we can work on "us" while seeing OW. I said that it is causing me too much pain. Besides, at what point are we "good enough" to let go of OW? He can't answer that because he "loves" her too much to let her go. He finally admitted to that. I asked him why he doesn't just go and be with her... He doesn't want to give up his family. It is crazy and I don't think I can take it any more.
We talked about D. He told me he wasn't going to file that it was up to me. Even if I did file, he said he won't leave. I am stuck in this horrible place and I can't seem to get out
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
Olive, this is what we call CAKE EATING. He will keep this up as long as he can get away with it. And what man would willingly give up TWO WOMEN meeting his needs?
I would do the best Plan A you can muster for the next couple of weeks. In the meantime, get an attorney and start preparing for legal seperation where he will have to move. Get your finances in order and set up custody. Once this is all set up and he is moved out, you would move to Plan B.
Unfortunately, there are no good answers in these situations, but Plan B is the best of the bad.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 51
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Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 51 |
I know... It is just so horrible. I'm starting to hate him and at the same time I love him immensely.
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