I just came across this article about a private investigation firm hired to find out if people's partners are cheating. Would you do it? Or do you think that it's a waste of money? or not ethical? tough call if you ask me...

The article is not there? I'm actually considering a PI just to help sort out the lies.

My WH is talking about buying a house for the OW, all I can think of is major problems with this idea. I need to protect everything we worked for and this could really mess things up.

I hired a PI. The emails weren't specific enough for me to really know if they had done anything (it was a very new relationship and actually if i had just waited a week, the emails would have been enough). I knew a relationship was there but not how much of a relationship. I didn't know if FWH was having sex in the club, at her apt., in the parking lot in front of the club in the car, etc. Answer was C. I do not regret it one minute. You might try reading Harley's article about the BS's right to protect their marriage and how any type of snooping is o.k. to do that.

My H felt his privacy was invaded. It was. My privacy was invaded too the minute he invited someone else into our marriage.

And it boiled down to this for me, there's no denying an A when you have it on video.

I just did this morning, basic stuff first, name, address, marital status. I'll let you know how it works out.

I did hire a PI last summer. best 500 dollars I ever spent. I had done alot of the leg work. I knew her name where she lived, worked, what kind of car she drove.

He had information for me in 4 days. I was hoping that I would find out that nothing is going on but that didn't happen.

I needed to do it for my piece of mind, WH made me feel like I was going crazy. guess what.. I wasn't.

That is also the information that i used to expose to her H.

Yes my WH was angry... "you're having me followed"... yes because you were lying to me. It was funny because he thought it was one of my friends ...

And you know what I would do it again. I'm thinking of giving the HO the PI card and telling her she made need this sometime. Or maybe give it to my WH because her track record is worse then his.

Still

There is nothing unethical about hiring a PI; having an affair is unethical. The only thing tough about hiring one is the money. Many have hired PI's with great results. Sometimes it is the only way to bust the real slippery ones.

p.s. no one has the right to the privacy to have an affair. I think its hilarious that some claim this imaginary "right" to harm others. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

I couldn't see the link but I'm thinking the poster is considering hiring the PI firms that kind of entrap a spouse to see if he (most likely) would cheat if given the opportunity.

I've seen a news story where a undercover young attractive woman parked her car near a target spouse and acted like she needed assistance with her car. After flirting with the guy she invited him to her place and proceeded to record him propositioning her.

This form of entrapment ain't for me...but then again, how likely is it going to work on a wife. My wife is free to hire such PI but I'm free to be upset at such an extreme waste of money. Perhaps it has it's place if your husband is involved continually in risky behavior (i.e. - traveling businessman, bar hound, weekends with the boys). At least if you bust him this way...you MIGHT be able to save your marriage AND not have to deal with breaking up an entangled emotional and physical affair first.

Mr. Wondering

You wrote- "And you know what I would do it again. I'm thinking of giving the HO the PI card and telling her she made need this sometime. Or maybe give it to my WH because her track record is worse then his."

STRAIGHT UP! What feels even better is when you can do all the detective work, as I did (and much of what you did), and BLOW HIM OUT OF THE WATER WITHOUT NOTICE --- evil, angry part of me still cherishes that!

Can't believe I was able to hold it together long enough to do that.... long story - he calls wondering if I accidentally brought his hairbrush from his work home to the family home - answer amicably - all the while I am in process of digging up all info on OW and emailing him and her about discovery --- must say it felt great. SO much you can find on the Internet - I didn't have to pay anyone! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

BUT, you are right - his girlfriend or whatever needs a PI because she will likely need the services in the future! It would certainly feel SWEET to hand it to her, huh? In my case, I had the pleasure of shocking both of them with my own information gathering!!!! (Who says 20 years in college isn't worth something?????)

I have an appointment with one tomorrow evening. I want to know everything to know about the OW. I still think she is a paid hire, the way he only goes once a week and calls ahead (based on cellphone records).

Things just don't add up and I need to get any information that I can depend on to be honest.