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Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 10
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 10 |
My H of 7 years had an A (9 months now. When i found out i kicked him out and he went to her. He tells me he is desparate to come back to me. he says i am what he wants, and now that he has lost me he knows this for sure. I don't know what he tells her but i would bet its something different.
he is living with her, but wants to come back to me, i just don't believe it. I feel uncomfortable with the thought that he could come back straight after living with her and be sure. I also don't believe he really wants me.
If i take him back, will this be a false recovery? I don't know what this term means?
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BS: 38 (me)
WS: 37 - living with OW.
DD: 3.5 yrs
DS: 2.5 yrs
Maried: 7 yrs
D-Day: 1/1/07
BS: 38(me)
WS: 37 (living with OW)
DD: 3.5 yrs
DS: 2.5 yrs
married: 7 yrs
A started: Oct 06
D Day: 1/1/07
OW: single, works with my husband, living with my husband
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Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 616
Member
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Member
Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 616 |
I think I would tell him that he has to leave her and live by himself, and date you. Start all over. It seems like he is afraid to leave one without the other waiting for him, and going back and forth would not work either, at least not for me.
Me-49 and staying there, course AARP sent me my card ugh
H-49
DD and SIL
GS the light of my life! 1 and a half, full of you know what
DS med school
always working on me
•The greatness of a nation and its moral progress can be judged by the way its animals are treated. Ghandi
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Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 193
Member
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Member
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 193 |
I am going through a false recovery right now.
From my perspective, a false recovery is where WS says he wants to get back together, but takes very few steps to actually achieve the desired outcome. It's their way of trying to keep a hold of you and still keep OP. It's all about him, not about what he needs to do to meet your needs. Someone explained to me that a real recovery is like a "total surrender". My WH has said he wants to come back, but is putting several of his own conditions on coming back and ignoring my boundaries. I believe that if he were sincere, he would respect my boundaries and do whatever what was needed to show me that he was serious.
Whatever you do, watch his actions and DO NOT listen to his words... Actions do speak louder than words.
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Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 228
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Member
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 228 |
Seeing this makes me realize that I'm probably in false recovery. At this point, taking another job in another city seems to be my only hope to get my husband back. He doesn't like to be alone & has kept me & OW hanging so if it doesn't work with one he has the other. Hopefully not now as she's gone "fatal attraction" on him. I didn't realize there was false recovery. I'm new to this but I'm praying it will help.
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Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 10
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 10 |
thanks all of you...your comments are meaningful and relevant to me, i take great insight from your words.
thank you.
BS: 38(me)
WS: 37 (living with OW)
DD: 3.5 yrs
DS: 2.5 yrs
married: 7 yrs
A started: Oct 06
D Day: 1/1/07
OW: single, works with my husband, living with my husband
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