Hello everyone. I was suggested to post here. Any advice would be great. Thank you.
Thank you for any advice at this point. My husband and I have been together for over 10 years. He is a wonderful person and we were very close. We started arguing a lot and I am starting to realize I must have been depressed for a while but didn't realize it. He said everything was fine. Then about a couple of months ago he said he was "done". We have a toddler and I was shocked. I also was still in the process of a miscarriage. I thought giving him space was the answer and then about a month later found out by a neighbor (at my door) that he is having an affair. I was in some way relieved b/c I knew at least it was something. But since that time I have been hoping he would come around but he has done the opposite. He has put our finances, his career, all of us at jeopardy for this affair. I have read if you say anything you push them the other way- so I have just said nothing. He is being quite horrible to me but I keep on saying we are here for you but he is now threatening to sue me for divorce. I cannot believe he is throwing everything away and he doesn't see it. Due to the circumstances, it is to the advantage of the other person to inflate my husband's ego. I am extremely saddened by all of this and I am hoping he reaches his senses. I have remained silent and he has been nothing but mean to me. My family and close friends want me to give up on him but I feel I know him and in some ways I can't see him drown. But he is not looking out for me or my child only himself - is there anything I can do and at what point do I start to protect myself? I feel he is lost and I don't want to give up on him for my sake but more importantly for my son and even my husband's sake. Thanks for any advice. I have become the enemy without even trying. It is all really sad!

SAH

I am so sorry you find yourself in this situation, however - you have come to the right place. There are many many people here who well help you. I would suggest posting your thread over on GQII as that gets much more traffic than this particular forum.

So, first things first - if you can provide more details on the affair, that would be great. The more you share, the better folks can help you.

Who is the OW? Is she married? family? kids? ages?
How long has it been going on? Where did they meet? Is your H still at home?

NExt, read as much as possible on this site - the informtion you will find can literally save your marriage. It saved mine.

Finally, have you exposed the affair? to whom? how? Exposure to affairs are absolutely ruinous. Affairs thrive in secrecy. Exposed to the light of day and the consequences thereof will quickly bring an affair to its end, in most cases. In my particular case, my H's affair ended the day after it was exposed.

Finally, breathe. You CAN get through this. You WILL get through this. Keep posting, read and people will help guide you

God bless

Hey SAHM,

Definitely move this over to General Questions II. There are a lot of people there that can give you some great advice.

Exposure is a huge thing, JustKim is right.

Get the answers to JustKim's questions - people at the Gen Questions II board will likely ask the same ones.

Hang on and hang in. You will get through this.