My WH insists that he wants a divorce and I have filed to protect me and the kids. He is still with the OW. And they are acting if they are going to stay together--long term. She has left her husband also. Plan A didn't go very well because everytime we saw each other we would fight about her or whatever he could come up with. I tried to maintain, but failed. For the last week I have been distant but kind when I saw him. And looked pretty good too!!! I feel like I should try Plan B, but he comes to my son's baseball games and I have to discuss the kids visitation with him. And there is no one else to do this. Should I keep trying to do Plan A or should I do some version on Plan B? I told him this morning when he told me he still wanted the Divorce and that he didn't have any feelings for me anymore that I still loved him and that if ever wanted to talk to let me know.

Hi hbsc

I have similar problems, especially since I am dropping the kids off at WW's place each morning. I think I am as dark as I can be and have asked for similar advice on my newest thread (my old user name was a bible verse).

I am sure we will get some good advice here.

Before you go to Plan B, make sure you have shown him the best it can be. I know it seems like you are pounding your head against the wall, but there may be more to do...

Have you explored your part in the destruction of the M. Have you owned up to it, apologized for it, and made significant changes for yourself and so he can see?

Have you gauged how much love you have left for him? You keep up a good Plan A until you feel that love slipping away...sometimes that's a few weeks, or a year.

When you feel the love slipping away, but you still have love left for him, you move to Plan B to preserve that love. Plan B is not about manipulating him or making him see, it's about you, holding tight till the A demises...sure they look like everything is going well, but these are 2 very selfish people, going through D's at the same time, how happy can THAT home be? Make your home look oh-so-much more cozier...

hb, which Harley books have you read?