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Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 86
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Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 86
Hello everybody

In reply to your questions about our first marriages.

When we met my current husband and myself were both separated from our first spouses. We were both in the process of getting divorced. I did not break up his marriage, he did not break up mine.

I don’t know how divorces work in America but in the UK you can’t usually get divorced in a few weeks.

My divorce took four years and his took three years.

At the time, in my mind, we were both divorced (physically/ mentally/emotionally) from our first partners. Neither of us ever thought we were being unfaithful to our former spouses. We did not think we were doing anything wrong.

First let me say that I am not a religious person but I now realise that this is a predominantly Christian site. I did not know that when I joined.

I have been speaking to Mr Wondering a great deal over the last few days and he told me that the Christian view is that you are not divorced until the paperwork is signed off. Therefore that makes me and my husband Wayward Spouses in our first marriages.

I honestly have never seen it that way or even thought of it that way.

Mr Wondering feels that since in the eyes of all the Christian posters we were both WS’s in our first marriages then I should not be posting in the infidelity section. I am sorry if I offended anybody. It was not intentional.

Out of respect for others and as per Mr Wondering suggestion I am moving from the infidelity section of Marriage Builders.

I will continue to post under the Emotional Needs section. If you are interested in continuing to assist me with my journey through this minefield you can find me over there.

p.s. Thanks to some fantastic help from Mr Wondering I have found out that my WH is still seeing the OW. Day Day #2 – 8th September 2007. I even have photos to prove it.

Hope to see you on the other section.

Kimleigh2


Me (BS) - 50 yo Him (WH) - 48 yo OW - 41, single, no children Married 11 years, together 15 years Children - 3 boys from my first marriage - 24, 19, 17 Second marriage for both D Day # 1 - 20th July 2007 D Day # 2 - 8th Sept 2007 Hoping for full recovery - not hopeful at the moment
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 6,025
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Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 6,025
1. All help was rendered by MrWondering AND MrsWondering.

2. We never literally spoke (the THREE of us IM'ed)

3. I never indicated it would be offensive to only Christians but MANY BS's.



Mr. Wondering


FBH(me)-51 FWW-49 (MrsWondering)
DD19 DS 22 Dday-2005-Recovered

"agree to disagree" = Used when one wants to reject the objective reality of the situation and hopefully replace it with their own.
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 86
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OP Offline
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K
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 86
Mr Wondering

I am not meaning to offend you.

I am sorry for omitting Mrs Wondering. It was not intentional. I realised my mistake when I had already submitted the post.I know and appreciate that she gave me a huge amount of help along with yourself

Maybe 'spoke' was just the wrong choice of word. I didn't mean to misconstrue anything.

I don't want to offend anybody, christian or otherwise.

I am sorry if I worded my post badly and missed out Mrs W. I am a bit of an emotional wreck at the moment. It takes me all my time to string a sentence together.

I came on MB for help, that's all.

I have moved to the other area of MB so as to no longer offend anybody.

kimleigh2


Me (BS) - 50 yo Him (WH) - 48 yo OW - 41, single, no children Married 11 years, together 15 years Children - 3 boys from my first marriage - 24, 19, 17 Second marriage for both D Day # 1 - 20th July 2007 D Day # 2 - 8th Sept 2007 Hoping for full recovery - not hopeful at the moment
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