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Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 21
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for almost 2 weeks now I have been staying at a different house from my WW. She has our 2 kids ATM.

I try to still see the kids at least once a day and keep them over night as often as possible, but what is killing me is my 6yo daughter asking when I am coming back to live with them. It kills me inside, and all i can find to respond is "I Don't Know"
My 3yo son is acting out also. Since I moved out he is abusive to his sister and mother. This involves: hitting, biting, name-calling and even so far as spitting in my WW's face and taunting her with rude gestures (raspberries, feigned farts etc)
He was always a very well mannered child and when he is around me he still is. When he is at home with the WW though that is a different story..

should I only tell my Daughter "I Don't Know"?
it seems to me she is too young and the situation is too new to say anything else. It is hurting me and i can see it causing problems with the children also. any advice?


"If you lose hope, somehow you lose the vitality that keeps life moving, you lose that courage to be, that quality that helps you go on in spite of it all. And so today I still have a dream." -Martin Luther King, Jr. BS-26 (me) WW-27 2 kids... Kinda (3yo, 6yo) Together 5 years, married 2 Discovered the infidelity 09/12/2007
Joined: Jul 2007
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I don't see anything wrong with telling your DD that mommy and daddy are having a hard time and need to work some things out. There is no point now to lay any blame. The children most of all need reassurance that mommy and daddy still love them and that they did not do anything wrong. Let them know that these are grown-up problems that you are dealing with and that you don't know what the outcome will be, but you still love them. Your son needs to continue to be disciplined as you normally would. He is acting out to get attention because he does not like the new arrangements. Let him know that you are still in charge and that he is safe and loved. That is the best that you can do for him.


lamby

Me...44yr old F; Divorced Feb. 2008
2 boys, 15 and 13
3 girls, 7,9,and 11
Joined: Nov 2007
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I am in a similar situation except I insisted on the house since WW has family in town and is living on my dime. WW is with her parents.

I allow WW as much contact with the kids as she likes. When the kids are upset, I remind them that "Daddy loves you and will ALWAYS be there for you." We even make a game of it and say it over and over during playtime. I tell them that mom and dad are having a difficult time right now but still love them. I tell them that IT IS NOT THEIR FAULT. This tactic has created a better bond with my kids and I.

Best of luck.


Me: BH
Her: FWW
Kids:DSD 12, DS 7, DD, 7

EA/PA: September 2007 - November 2007
Status: In Recovery
Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 21
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well the situation has moved on and she has been to 2 new schools and is now living in oregon with her grandmother and my WW.
This seems to have traumatized her even more.. removing all stability.. She is refusing to make friends and is asking about her old school and me a lot.. she will not go to school in the morning without crying.

I hate this.

See my main post for more:
My Main Post

Last edited by 1lostsoul; 12/06/07 02:45 PM.

"If you lose hope, somehow you lose the vitality that keeps life moving, you lose that courage to be, that quality that helps you go on in spite of it all. And so today I still have a dream." -Martin Luther King, Jr. BS-26 (me) WW-27 2 kids... Kinda (3yo, 6yo) Together 5 years, married 2 Discovered the infidelity 09/12/2007

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