Well, I'm thankful for my new job that doubled my income.
That I'm away from the he|| that my wife was putting me through.
And finally that my divorce will be final by next Friday.

my work is not paying for my college.i go on full grants and scholarships.

mlhb

Well, MLHB, then I'm thankful for full grants and scholarships.

I still do nighttime prayers with my kids, and that is one of the questions we all much answer. Thank you God for . . . .

It's good for all of us to remember our blessings.

MLHB, I'd like to get your opinion on my other post about moving. I know you were planning to do a big move, and your thoughts on that would be appreciated.

Pariah, where is the celebration?

yes, i read that post and i will answer it right here if that is ok.

when i was doing my "one year planning" i spoke to my attorney about how i would go about doing the move. he said that it could go either way basically. my children are both 10. they are not old enough yet to say who they want to live with. i have placement. we share joint custody, i get them a majority of the time, and then some usually because my exes schedule is a bit erratic. my assignment would have been to either (a) have my ex agree to the move and agree to a change in the visitation or (b) prove that it was in my kids best interest to move. my ex would not have done choice a i can tell you that. gekko moving here was not an option because he has a good job and i would NEVER have expected him to move away from his daughter. i told him that very early on. so, i would have had to do plan b which i do not think would have been that difficult to do seeing that i live in a town of around 3-4000 people with very little to offer my children here now or in the future as opposed to my children living in a suburb of atlanta and be able to go to private christain schools, my dd could have done dance and gymnastics and my son could have played the best in sports opportunities. also, employment opportunities would have been much better for me down there and he would have been raised with 2 people involved in church instead of just me. i don't think it would have been hard to prove that the move could be justified. HOWEVER, i could not just move unless i was getting married. a judge would want to know we were moving due to a marriage not just becauwse i wanted to move to be able to date someone. (but your friend is engaged so that is already set).

when the father is really involved that is hard. my ex was not involved in the kids lives until about that last year or two and i think that would have played against him. he is also living with ow and they are not married.

i was planning to move several states away and i believe it would have been doable. your friend only wants to move an hour away. i don't think that would be too hard. make sure he will still see the kids as much time as he has now and that he could still be very involved. she will have to prove it is in the kids best interest to move. i think remarriage is a valid reason.

let me know if you have any other questions...

mlhb

Thanks. I knew you'd been down that road, for a far longer distance. I think my friend is having a hard time seeing the other side of it. So eventually, I'm going to email her the MB postings.

As I wrote, her X joined her new church. Yesterday, at blessing time, another friend said "Friend got engaged" as a happy event. DD started crying, x flipped out, and railed at friend in church, then railed at friend who expressed joy. He's an angry man, but an involved father. Moving on is rough. So why bother to date?

I am rejoining eharmony, because I do need something.

you can have the eharmony membership that i cancelled several weeks ago ;-)

it is hard to be in your friend's shoes. i didn't mean to fall in love with someone who lived so far away but i did. and i would have done whatever it took to be able to be down there with him with my children. but i would have been fair to my ex as well and gave him ample time with them too. he is their father, albeit not a great one, but one just the same, and i would not take him away from them.

hope it works out for her whatever happens.

mlhb

"moving on is hard so why even bother to date?"

i don't know about that statement newly...

my ex had no problem moving on. he has been living with ow going on over 2 years now.

ow's ex remarried this past summer, only a year or so after the divorce.

gekko's ex is remarried already and pregnant.

so, apparently, some people have no problem at all moving on.

guess it depends on the people and their motives.

i personally think people who move on too quickly are people who cannot handle being alone. just my opinion. and i think that is kind of pathetic. that is why, as much as it has hurt both of us, i do not begrudge gekko for wanting the alone time he never really got. "normal" people usually need that. ( i know, what is normal, but you know what i mean).

i remember my ex telling me " i just want to live alone and not be around anyone. just me, alone." yea, ok, big tough guy. he left here and moved in with friends who booted him out after only a month or two, than moved in with ow. guess big tough man could not handle being alone. never even tried! i have no problem with it. pretty used to it actually. i would be disappointed in myself i think if i could not handle being alone. that would mean that as soon as my marriage ended i would have been out for the first man who would have me and move in. i am so glad i am not like that! i'd have no respect for myself if i was.


mlhb

holy cow!! a few pages back i wrote how i was hoping to be a part of this teacher training coming up in february in nyc... well, it is by the author of many books including one called "the raw food detox diet" (as you all know, i have been exploring this way of eating for several months now. i have really been trying to improve upon myself and my health by exploring this and the possibility of teaching my life long love of jazzercise. both would be side businesses for me that could lead into full time ones. they kind of go hand in hand).. anyhoo, natalia rose, the author, lives in nyc and does teacher training workshops to help you understand this way of eating so you can apply it to yourself and teach others if you desire. there were only 10 spots open so you had to write an essay answering a bunch of questions and she would pick 10 to be in the class... so i wrote my essay and sent it in... AND I FOUND OUT TODAY THAT I HAVE BEEN PICKED TO GO!!!! i can't believe it. she gave me some stuff to read and a dvd to watch before i go. (it is in february) and will have to send in a deposit by december 15th for the class.

nyc! i have never been there. i have to figure out how to make arrangements to get there and where to stay. and i don't know where i am going. ok, who can go with me and who can i stay with here?? i am SO NERVOUS!

hip hip hurray this is so cool!

mlhb

can you believe it is thanksgiving next week already? time flies.

we start rehearsals for our christmas cantata at church tomorrow night. i have to make that! i did not sing last christmas and i can't let another go by...

gotta run, busy day ahead.

happy tuesday
mlhb

Congratulations! That's awesome.

Find out where in NYC the classes are. If they're uptown, you don't want to stay downtown. It could take you an hour to get to class!

Manhattan is expensive, but in February there may be some deals.

Congrats.
Depending on location, I'm 1.5 hour bus ride ($30 round trip) or a train ride into NYC if you want to explore that option.
There's always the YWCA or YMCA. No kidding.

Hey chicka....how long did we talk last night? Anywho.....meh turkey day....never been one of my faves....i'm not a turkey fan.....home made mashed potates...okay....other than that it's not a significant holiday for me....one year when XH and I were living in AZ I made lasagna for thanks giving and thats what we had....and honestly this year I would rather take a day trip.....I just don't feel like being around relatives....*sigh*....and I can't tell them this because they wouldn't understand.....But yeah you should come visit sunny ole california.....maybe I can even get you on a surf board.....haha

thanks newly i will keep that in mind... i am hoping to find someone to go with me. i could split the gas cost and split the room cost (get a hotel near where i will be). i am kind of nervous to go to nyc alone... i could go to my class both days from 10-3 and who ever went with me could find something fun to do. i only need to spend prolly one night...

yes, we did talk a lot last night sihw. each day will get better i promise. :-)

i am wiped. had a very long day. i'll post more tomorrow.

thanks all for reading and posting.

mlhb

this website is by the author who will be teaching the 2 day class i will be taking. her books are all listed there and products and philosophy. check it out!

www.therawfooddetoxdiet.com

mlhb

(i will put it in my sig line as well)

well,i had fun going on an organic shopping spree. lots of healthy stuff. since i am going to this class in february i have to step it up now! it is mostly fruits and vegetables. whole grains, whole grain pastas, wraps, no meat or dairy (which is no big to me). got some yummy organic oreos. mmmm... made from fruit juices, organic wheat, etc.. trust me they are good. i will branch out more as i get more into it. i have not tried any of the raw and organic recipes yet.. but i plan to. one step at a time. i will tell ya though, organic is EXPENSIVE as he**. unbelievable. it is sad actually. it is much cheaper to eat terribly.

got one of my jazzercise dvds today as well. am psyched to try it out tomorrow.

ate all kinds of cool healthy stuff today :-) let's see.. veggie burger on whole wheat organic roll, organic oreos, fresh veggie salad on wheat bread, juices, kashi fruit and nut bar, oh, and some organic chips salted with sea salt... too cool! i did not get to exercise as i have been waiting for my dvds one of which is now finally here as i stated above. i ended in the 17-1800's which is a bit higher than i want to be calorie wise. i'll probably weigh in each day to keep an eye on things but i think i want to stick to closer to 12-1400 range. but will be exercising a lot getting ready for jazzercise so that may increase my calories a bit.

here's to your health!

mlhb

p.s. i can't lie... with holidays coming up i am kind of thinking about gekko sometimes.. i am sure it will pass but last year at this time things were just so nice...

by friday night we are supposed to have up to 7 inches of snow. hurray for where i live <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

took kids to the dentist the other day. my dd has been referred to an orthodontist (no surprise) for a consultation to see if she will need braces. i call the ex and tell him because i am sure so no matter where i go there will be some out of pocket even though he has really good insurance. our agreement states that he pays 80% of copays and i pay 20% (i think that is what it says...) well, i got the poverty speach from him... "after i pay you every month i am broke. i am so far under, i am so broke..." boo hoo hoo..

well, i had that speech all through our marriage when he didn't want to pay something. he is full of major amounts of crap. lets see... he makes close 50k a year, plus what he gets paid from air national guard.. he got big bucks for going to iraq last year and i find it hard to believe he spent all of that already. he got 10k in retro pay from his job last fall plus a big raise (he works for the state and they had not gotten a raise in 3 years so he got retro for that). plus, she must make close to 40k a year... oh, but he is broke. i am so sick of hearing that from him while he is driving another new vehicle (traded the one he bought last year) plus she drives a friggen hummer! broke people can't usually afford that stuff. just irks me is all. i didn't say a word, i just said "i didn't call to discuss your financial situation, i just called to tell you our dd will probably need braces" end of conversation.

if he thinks i buy the poverty story he has another thing coming.

all things considered i make close to or right at around 40k.. i don't have a car payment, and i don't have a lot of extras. i have money in the bank now and i don't spend foolishly (too much any way..) i am thankful to god for taking such good care of me and my children and i am thankful i am not as materialistic as the ex is. would i like a new car? sure but why when the one i have runs great and is paid for plus i get a company car to drive so it saves the wear and tear on mine... why have a car payment when i can use that money to do fun things for me and my kids?

i just needed to vent a second. my ex sure has a lot of nerve. i'd love to see his back accounts.

mlhb

hurray, today was weigh in day (every other day is now) and i am down 2 more pounds to make 47 :-)

yippee!!!!

toodles all

mlhb

You're very lucky if you only have to pay 20% and you have custody of the kids and he pays you child support.

I have custody and ex pays child support and because of that he pays 20% and I pay 80% of any out of pocket expenses.

i have placement, we share joint. it is based on the fact that he makes a lot more than i do between his 2 jobs.

god took good care of me in our agreement i will agree.

i try to pick drs and dentists that are providers so there is no copay. that way neither one of us has any out of pocket. but for an orthodontist, i am thinking that is not going to be possible.

mlhb

it has snowed all darn day long! unbelievable.

had an uneventful day. get my kids back tonight after my son is done hockey practice.

had another fun food day :-)

lets see.... some fruit and nut bars, a veggie wheat wrap, a veggie burger on wheat, and some juice. a light day.

off to do dishes and all that fun domesticated stuff. lots of cleaning to do this weekend to get ready for turkey day company then when i am off next week... HOMEWORK!!! my term will be done dec 15 so time is running out.

later
mlhb