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Today I am Spock. Must stay in "Spock" mode, LOGIC...no emotions.


Funny! I keep watching for your thread title changes, Charlotte.

You've got a very good personality. Funny, too.

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Hi Charlotte,

I'm done with my meetings and have some other things to do, but it looks like you're in very capable hands now...

I hope you got some rest last night!

Semper Fi,

RIF


Me, BS

Her, Forgiven

Married Dec 86

Multiple A's that ended '90

Rebuilding In Faith since then...

Currently deployed to Iraq, but TEXAS is Home!
RIF #1959638 11/01/07 07:57 AM
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Thanks weaver & RIF...

weaver your post made me think about H.
He always liked that about me, those little fun things I tend to pop out with...

He was kinda getting back to that, too. He would laugh and enjoy them again from time to time.

Until Tuesday, that is!


Charlotte22

BS-42
WH-Mr. Gray-52
M-15.5y
DS*DIL-26, DGS-1
DS*DIL-22
DD-21
Dday: 6/27/07 (Plan A-sort of)
10/30-BRAVE NEW WORLD! Exposure!
11/1-Filed D
11/21-Temp hearing, Shiny takes all
12/15-Plan B
5/13/08-Spousal support extended, my Shiny
Attorney totally ROCKS!!
7/17-Court again, Shiny rules!
7/22-OWH temp hearing, Shiny kicks butt again!
12/11-Mediation; Gray won't budge, we are now headed for trial

Shiny="A Dynamic Force of Epic Proportions"

Shiny WILL win!! No doubt, Sugah!
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Charlotte, I was out of pocket for most of the day yesterday but it sounds like things have been hoppin'. You're doing a great job by the way. Let us know what happens at the bank. I hope you beat him to it. Talking about the bank reminded me of a story the OW in my situation told my FWH when they were together. She said that she was racing her STBXH to the bank to get to the money and she had a car accident on the way because she was so hyped and nervous. (I was thinking, yep that Karma bus struck again.) She didn't make it in time. So be careful when you go this morning! Drive carefully!


Widowed 11/10/12 after 35 years of marriage
*********************
“In a sense now, I am homeless. For the home, the place of refuge, solitude, love-where my husband lived-no longer exists.” Joyce Carolyn Oates, A Widow's Story
princessmeggy #1959640 11/01/07 08:29 AM
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Hi princess meggy,

Thank you! Will do! My mom said it was foggy so it would work to my advantage if he was lurking about. She's worried about him ambushing me. I checked hotel parking lots last night: no sign. There aren't many here so it was a quick job.


Charlotte22

BS-42
WH-Mr. Gray-52
M-15.5y
DS*DIL-26, DGS-1
DS*DIL-22
DD-21
Dday: 6/27/07 (Plan A-sort of)
10/30-BRAVE NEW WORLD! Exposure!
11/1-Filed D
11/21-Temp hearing, Shiny takes all
12/15-Plan B
5/13/08-Spousal support extended, my Shiny
Attorney totally ROCKS!!
7/17-Court again, Shiny rules!
7/22-OWH temp hearing, Shiny kicks butt again!
12/11-Mediation; Gray won't budge, we are now headed for trial

Shiny="A Dynamic Force of Epic Proportions"

Shiny WILL win!! No doubt, Sugah!
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Noticed you had an "H" in the post title so I finished it for ya.... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

You're doing a great job, Charlotte...keep it up. Folks mentioned your past enabling of the affair. You are an inspiration for others to follow....you saw, you chose, and you acted.

I started a thread on enabling vs. cheerleading and controling etc. and will link your thread to it as an example of how to recognize and overcome one aspect of enabling. GREAT JOB. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

***Slight TJ to Weaver. Disregard my emails....sitch changed, she's not enabling anymore and wants help to change. Update later.(Details near bottom of page 1 on the Enabling Thread)***

Ace


FWH/BW (me)57+ M:36+ yr.
4 D-Days: Jun-Nov 06 E/PA~OW#2 (OW#1 2000)
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Thanks, Ace!

I wasn't able to get the whole check by Direct DP Advance but I got some of it.

I went there before the door was unlocked, talked to the person I was directed to talk to yesterday from the teller on the phone, explained the sitch with H...not the whole story but a short version re: the A...and that I had to call police yesterday.

She got my ATM card # which I could not find, gave me an 800 number and I was able to gain access and do the advance. If H sees this he the race to the bank in the a.m. will be on again!

Maybe he won't check, but if he tries to take out another 200 he won't be able to and THEN he will know.

So I am a little worried about that but if I get to talk to the lawyer at 3 when he is supposed to be back from court, hopefully we can get this taken care of. So I hope he gets back when he is supposed to!


Charlotte22

BS-42
WH-Mr. Gray-52
M-15.5y
DS*DIL-26, DGS-1
DS*DIL-22
DD-21
Dday: 6/27/07 (Plan A-sort of)
10/30-BRAVE NEW WORLD! Exposure!
11/1-Filed D
11/21-Temp hearing, Shiny takes all
12/15-Plan B
5/13/08-Spousal support extended, my Shiny
Attorney totally ROCKS!!
7/17-Court again, Shiny rules!
7/22-OWH temp hearing, Shiny kicks butt again!
12/11-Mediation; Gray won't budge, we are now headed for trial

Shiny="A Dynamic Force of Epic Proportions"

Shiny WILL win!! No doubt, Sugah!
weaver #1959643 11/01/07 10:55 AM
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Hi weaver, how's that parachute?

Yes, you do make sense. Charlotte22's actions are a signal to her WS and a beacon. "How it could be." Exactly.

I hope Charlotte22 continues to post through their recovery and beyond. Because that is where I see them going. I just love success stories. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/ooo.gif" alt="" />

Bellevue #1959644 11/01/07 11:04 AM
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I just love success stories.

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

Ditto for me to Bellevue!

You're doing great Charlotte!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

Semper Fi,

RIF


Me, BS

Her, Forgiven

Married Dec 86

Multiple A's that ended '90

Rebuilding In Faith since then...

Currently deployed to Iraq, but TEXAS is Home!
Bellevue #1959645 11/01/07 11:20 AM
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Hi weaver, how's that parachute?


<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

That reminds me of sig line someone once used. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

And yes, following the examples of people living in integrity does make all the difference.

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Bellevue & RIF!!

Thanks again!!

My aunt said something about The War of the Roses and I said, "No, he's the one doing bad things to me. I'm just defending myself!"

Defense!!

and

Offence!!!


Charlotte22

BS-42
WH-Mr. Gray-52
M-15.5y
DS*DIL-26, DGS-1
DS*DIL-22
DD-21
Dday: 6/27/07 (Plan A-sort of)
10/30-BRAVE NEW WORLD! Exposure!
11/1-Filed D
11/21-Temp hearing, Shiny takes all
12/15-Plan B
5/13/08-Spousal support extended, my Shiny
Attorney totally ROCKS!!
7/17-Court again, Shiny rules!
7/22-OWH temp hearing, Shiny kicks butt again!
12/11-Mediation; Gray won't budge, we are now headed for trial

Shiny="A Dynamic Force of Epic Proportions"

Shiny WILL win!! No doubt, Sugah!
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Charlotte, can you report his ATM/debit card as lost?? We know it's really WH that's lost but since his ATM card is attached to him, doesn't that count?? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />


Widowed 11/10/12 after 35 years of marriage
*********************
“In a sense now, I am homeless. For the home, the place of refuge, solitude, love-where my husband lived-no longer exists.” Joyce Carolyn Oates, A Widow's Story
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Hi princess meggy...

I guess it would be worth a try. He does have his checkbook with him, though. So he can still do some damage!


Charlotte22

BS-42
WH-Mr. Gray-52
M-15.5y
DS*DIL-26, DGS-1
DS*DIL-22
DD-21
Dday: 6/27/07 (Plan A-sort of)
10/30-BRAVE NEW WORLD! Exposure!
11/1-Filed D
11/21-Temp hearing, Shiny takes all
12/15-Plan B
5/13/08-Spousal support extended, my Shiny
Attorney totally ROCKS!!
7/17-Court again, Shiny rules!
7/22-OWH temp hearing, Shiny kicks butt again!
12/11-Mediation; Gray won't budge, we are now headed for trial

Shiny="A Dynamic Force of Epic Proportions"

Shiny WILL win!! No doubt, Sugah!
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Charlotte, did he take the box of checks with him? Find them, so you can have what you need. You are still his responsibility, and he will eventually figure out that he took a slingshot to a gunfight. He's on an uneven playing field in that he totally underestimated you. He has to be in awe of you by now.


Marriages don't fail, people do. (And I don't recall who said it)
Going_Forward #1959650 11/01/07 12:49 PM
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I called my FIL and also DS21.

FIL sympathized...he said he didn't know what else he could do since he is not so close to H. Also, after he started the A, he cut himself off from everybody & FIL was hurt about that. I told him that it wasn't just him, but everyone. He said he'll do what he can & if he hears anything positive he'll let me know. He wants to be kept updated.

DS21: He knew something was up with his dad. He felt really bad for me that his dad was treating me so shabbily. He wants to call and try to talk to H. He's such a wise little owl! He gave me his work number and asked me to call if I needed someone to talk to. He is also worried about his dad's drug use. And warned me that he knew about side effects and that this could be a problem for me when trying to deal with H.

I told him he could tell his mom if he wanted to, I don't mind. We haven't ever said 2 words to each other but DS21 said that she might even want to call me. I also asked him to tell his sister if she checked in since I didn't know how to reach her. She is REALLY estranged from her dad. It's sad.

I will be leaving soon to see the lawyer. I guess leaving at 2pm should be sufficient.

Thanks, All!


Charlotte22

BS-42
WH-Mr. Gray-52
M-15.5y
DS*DIL-26, DGS-1
DS*DIL-22
DD-21
Dday: 6/27/07 (Plan A-sort of)
10/30-BRAVE NEW WORLD! Exposure!
11/1-Filed D
11/21-Temp hearing, Shiny takes all
12/15-Plan B
5/13/08-Spousal support extended, my Shiny
Attorney totally ROCKS!!
7/17-Court again, Shiny rules!
7/22-OWH temp hearing, Shiny kicks butt again!
12/11-Mediation; Gray won't budge, we are now headed for trial

Shiny="A Dynamic Force of Epic Proportions"

Shiny WILL win!! No doubt, Sugah!
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Hi GF,

Thanks! He just has one book. I had to dip into the box this a.m. to get a new one for myself.

Slingshot to a gunfight...LOVE IT!!

He'd better be in awe. He ain't seen nothin' yet!

Giddy-up! I'm takin' the reins back! Oh yeah, already did!!

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />


Charlotte22

BS-42
WH-Mr. Gray-52
M-15.5y
DS*DIL-26, DGS-1
DS*DIL-22
DD-21
Dday: 6/27/07 (Plan A-sort of)
10/30-BRAVE NEW WORLD! Exposure!
11/1-Filed D
11/21-Temp hearing, Shiny takes all
12/15-Plan B
5/13/08-Spousal support extended, my Shiny
Attorney totally ROCKS!!
7/17-Court again, Shiny rules!
7/22-OWH temp hearing, Shiny kicks butt again!
12/11-Mediation; Gray won't budge, we are now headed for trial

Shiny="A Dynamic Force of Epic Proportions"

Shiny WILL win!! No doubt, Sugah!
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Good job, Charlotte! Any word from your H? Do you think he is at work? Do you know if the OW is at work?


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


MelodyLane #1959653 11/01/07 01:29 PM
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Hi Melody! Thank you!

Not a peep. Both were supposed to be off today, since they had that little "trip" planned.

I figure OWH might call me if that even transpired...no guarantees there, though. But I'd like to think he would have called.

Also H had been planning on taking a 17" moniter flatscreen so they could watch movies. That is still at home.

I think he might be holed up somewhere with a tension headache due to his out of control actions yesterday. Can't count on it, but I'm betting that might very well be the case.


Last edited by Charlotte22; 11/01/07 01:30 PM.

Charlotte22

BS-42
WH-Mr. Gray-52
M-15.5y
DS*DIL-26, DGS-1
DS*DIL-22
DD-21
Dday: 6/27/07 (Plan A-sort of)
10/30-BRAVE NEW WORLD! Exposure!
11/1-Filed D
11/21-Temp hearing, Shiny takes all
12/15-Plan B
5/13/08-Spousal support extended, my Shiny
Attorney totally ROCKS!!
7/17-Court again, Shiny rules!
7/22-OWH temp hearing, Shiny kicks butt again!
12/11-Mediation; Gray won't budge, we are now headed for trial

Shiny="A Dynamic Force of Epic Proportions"

Shiny WILL win!! No doubt, Sugah!
Dancing_Machine #1959654 11/01/07 01:35 PM
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Sounds to me that you busted up his plans and I'm sure on top of the anger he is feeling totally humiliated. Hopefully, a day or two will help him calm down and not act rashly.


Me-43
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Married 25 years
1 child- ds9
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Yeah, but I bet you can beat him to the bank faster than he can cash a check.


Widowed 11/10/12 after 35 years of marriage
*********************
“In a sense now, I am homeless. For the home, the place of refuge, solitude, love-where my husband lived-no longer exists.” Joyce Carolyn Oates, A Widow's Story
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