Hey LIT,

I think you guys are about 3.5 to 4.5 hours behind us here...

Just wanted to see how you're doing this eveing....

Semper Fi,

RIF

Just checking in again.... I hope you're doing OK.

Semper Fi,

RIF

RIF,
Things are ok I guess. Ive gotten to a point where I don't think of what they did together ALL the time. I think Im worried because My W has a problem with changing her mind. She promised to do whatever was nessary to save and repair the marriage but Im affraid that she will decide that she doesn't need to go to therapy. Once I get home, its far enough in he past that all is ok now. And Without therapy, Im affraid that things will go south again. You had good advice earlier and I will do just that. Talk to the Chaplin. I also fear that she may just decide to say the ****** with the marriage. I don't know. Im still lost. How long did it take you before you were able to be romantic with your w and not think about what happened? Im worried about that too.
Thanks RIF

Hey LIT,

Your feelings will be up and down from day to day and even hour to hour... half the battle is just realizing that these feelings are completely NORMAL.

It took us a good two to two and a half years to finally get to a point to where the past didn't have such a strong hold on our M. We were in MC and I had a deployment to Kosovo thrown in just for "fun"...

Try not to think of "What If" questions... focus your efforts on learning about Plan-A and talk with your Chaplain.

As far as being 'romantic' with Mrs. RIF, I never stopped being romantic with her... Try not to have any set ideas on what your first couple of days will be like when you get home on your R&R... Take things slowly and roll with the flow...

If you can focus on letting your W know that you love her and that you want to work THROUGH this... that's about all I would try to do while you are home on R&R... other than make sure that the OM stays away.

If you have a chance to post while you're on R&R, give me a shout as I'll make a point to check the boards while I'm on R&R...

Semper Fi,

RIF

LIT,

I understand your hour to hour change of feelings. I'm going through that right now.

Stay strong.

LIT - you know what? If your wife is really as willing to do everything she can to repair your marriage, she should be willing to come onto these forums so we can guide her through this.

Will she come here LIT?

Morning LIT!

Just wanted to check in with you and see how you're doing...

How many days until you fly home?

Semper Fi,

RIF

Bumping up for LIT...

Hope everything is going well for you... Give us a shout when you get a chance...

Semper Fi,

RIF

Hey LIT - I'll be outside the wire all day today... I'll check back later on this evening. I hope you're doing OK.

Semper Fi,

RIF

Hey LIT - Just checking in with you again before I hit the rack.. I'll check back tomorrow morning...

Semper Fi,

RIF

Hey LIT - Are you still around? Hope all is well over there for you... drop us a not when you get a chance.

Semper Fi,

RIF

Hope all is well for you LIT...

Semper Fi,

RIF

Hey LIT - It's Sunday evening here and I just wanted to check in and see how you're doing...

Semper Fi,

RIF

Hey LIT - It's Monday afternoon...

I think we're going on R&R around the same time... about 7 more days for you???

Hope you're doing OK...

Semper Fi,

RIF

I don't really have much advice for you, but wanted to let you know that your service over there is so greatly appreciated. My husband is currently out of state training and then heading to Afganistan in February. This will be our second deployment and it does really strain the marriage. He told me a few weeks ago that when he gets back he is moving out and we are done. As far as I know there isn't anyone else, but he seems to be making some drastic desisions at an already stressful time. Right now I am just doing my best to support him and hope that he might change his mind. I have no idea what you have been doing/done while deployed to show your wife what she means to you and how much you appreciate her, but from my perspective please make sure you talk to her. And when I say talk, I mean about how you are really doing and what is going on as far as being there. My husband keeps it all inside thinking he is protecting me, but the withdrawal is hard to not take personally. Also, my husband always seem to act like the stuff at home is not very important and he can't be bothered helping me make decisions. I also took this very personally and resented that he thought his job was so much more important than me and all the stuff I was doing here on my own, but he finally let me know that it was just that he couldn't think about all the stuff going on at home and all the things he left me to have to handle without him, because it became a distraction and that unforunately over there could end up getting him killed. He had to focus completely on this job, and that make sense I just would have never realized that on my own. I really don't know if this will be at all helpful to you, but again just know that there are so many people that are so thankful for what you are doing for our country. It sounds like your wife is remorseful and interested in working on the marriage, so try and focus on that and stay as safe as you can.

Hi lit1022,

I read your thread and you're getting some great information. Try to stay connected with your H during his deployment but don't try to "fix" the M.

A year to 15 months is a long time, and you can use that time to learn more about yourself and how to become a more 'attractive' W for him...

Thank you for YOUR service by supporting your H...

Semper Fi,

RIF

Hey LIT - Tuesday Afternoon over here... just checking in to see if you're around. Hope you're doing OK...

Semper Fi,

RIF

Morning LIT - It's Wednesday morning and I just wanted to see if you're around...

Semper Fi,

RIF

Hey LIT - Thursday morning here... hope you're doing OK... check in with us before you fly home for your R&R...

Semper Fi,

RIF

Hey LIT - It's Friday morning... I'm heading out so I'll check back with you when I get home.

I pray that you are safe and doing well...

Semper Fi,

RIF