Watching a comic 'talk show' here in UK last night and something happened that made me really think about how infidelity is percieved by the public as oppoosed to the popular media.

On the show two of the guests were minor celebs from show we have here called 'Im a (obscure and mostly forgotten) celebrity get me out of here'.

In this latest series of 'Im a celeb...' two of the celebs had what amounted to an EA. The man was already in a 2 year + relationship with another woman although wasn't married.

It caused quite a stir and (much to my relief as I was and still am recovering from my wifes A) the public promptly voted him off!

As I say, these two reappeared last night on the comic talk show and the guy declares his love and basically says 'I was in a relationship and someone got hurt but so what thats life' whearapon the host (whom I regard as a genuinely talented comic) says 'well how about that then ladies and gentlemen!' and propmtly goads the audience (also celebs) into a loud round of applause!

Is that how it works then? Lets abandon any standards or compassion and just see where nature takes us? So what if people get hurt it really doesnt matter just follow your heart.......

Didnt we realise long ago the need for some self impossed control to assist with order in our society? Didnt we partly do this to try and protect ourselves from the pain that random uncontrolled EAs cause?

Am I alone in thinking that that guy, the woman he went with and their fellow celebrities that openly encouraged them at the time had questionable attitudes to infidelity?

Or am I just being naive?

Today when I was out for drinks and told one of my good friends who I've grown up with (she's more like a sister) that I received an email from the OW apologising to me, and went on to say how I wasn't sure the apology could be genuine when there was even an inkling of contact still with them, you know what she said to me?

'Oh well...you know...they did share something'.

WHAT? Have you gone mad? i wanted to ask. But I didn't say anything.

And all I thought about on the way home was - what the heck is wrong with people? What kind of a world am I living in? Is it me that looks at things the wrong way? Do I just need to loosen up and laugh and play and accept things like everyone else seems to do?

Follow your heart...do what's best for you....

I'm loosing total faith in humanity.

Three years ago my sisters husband left her for her best friend of twenty years.When my sister suspected an affair she confided in this "best friend".

She had a double betrayal.I was very angry at my BIL and encouraged my sister to move on.Now that my H has left me I feel awful about my reactions in her case.She is a strong person and coped well not like me.She has been a wonderful support to me.I think only if you have experienced this betrayal can you truely understand the emotions one goes through.

Without a doubt, we live in a world where Satan is having a good time. Did your parents ever say to you, if everyone jumps off the bridge are you going to jump off the bridge.

We ARE people with feelings, morals, values, integrity, etc. G-d hurts for ALL those people who are living those types of lives. Sure, you could jump on board and MAYBE one day become like they have, which is what happens to the WW, but maybe you aren't being the person that G-d intended you to be.

What they do is despicable. It's WRONG, it HURTS, and its CRUEL. We dont get to judge them, we just get to pray for them and live our life according to what is right, decent and in G-ds world.

For me, when everything is said and done, and I die. I want to be able to face my G-d and know that he was proud of me and turned the horrible things that happened into good because I jump to the other side and let Satan have my life.

I hope that makes sense.

Queenie

The OP with my WH is 41 has 3 teenage boys.She is a reiki master and into past lives,aura readings etc.How can a "spiritual person"/mother do this to another family?When she met my DD15 for the first time she said:hi,I'm the mean lady who took your Dad away,ha,ha".WH defended her when I told him and said she most probably was trying to break the ice!

Satan is definitely at work here.WH went with her to a psychic
who told them they on the same vib. plane and were together in a prev. life!and if the didn't stay together they would never find another partner.CRAZY TALK.WH wasn't into this before.

When does the WH COME OUT OF THIS FOG..after 1 year I thought the fantasy would be over and reality would set in.Has it?

Hope,

I am so still in the process of coming to understand what I am about to say.

Your WH is an ALIEN who has been abducted by a mother ship and isn't there anymore. He CAN come BACK. I am the only person on this earth that believe the CAN. BUT he is NOT my H today.

Those two live in world of FANTASY and will do and SAY anything to JUSTIFY what they are DOING.

So many on here have beaten into me, DON'T REASON ABOUT WHAT THEY ARE OR AREN'T DOING. It CAN'T make sense because it's SICK behavior.

So many others on here tell me to not PAY ATTENTION to what OW is doing. She doesnt' matter, what matters is YOU. HEALING YOU, and becoming the BEST YOU CAN BE.

I have NO CLUE when they come out of the FOG. My WH has been with his OW for over 18 months, and living with her for 8 months this week.

There is NOTHING we can do ABOUT THEM, but we CAN DO FOR US, OUR CHILDREN, and in the end our M.

Focus on what you need to do to learn about yourself and take care of yourself.

I hope that make sense. And vets if I said anything wrong, please let us know. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Hope - you are in a very safe place here. Spill your heart and people will help you walk through this, I PROMISE you.

Hey Jet! How is everything going, though. Is she still making progress?

Don't lose faith in humanity.

For every WS, there is a BS that is LOYAL,LOVING and COMMITTED. That means an equal number of people who don't believe in infidelity.
Plus more than that, who are single and are just waiting for the right one for commitment.

And those that are HAPPILY married, that counts for a double number in our favor.

Have hope!

AS for the talk show, media does much just to gain viewers -they have to gasp and gawk and be impartial, esp to a guest. If you want a host who will tell it like it is, comic talk show venues may not be the way to go.

Who knows how they really feel? They have to cater to the masses and not really opine one way or the other.

Maybe we should start our own TALK SHOW!! Jet, what would a good name be for that?! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

When I explain to people about H been abducted by aliens,they get this look as if they thinking I'm in denial.Why are the people on this site the only ones who think this way?

Is this what DR.Harley says?

Thanks Guys! I know our way - the decent way - is right!

Hello Resonance!

Everything seems to be going well! Fog seems as if its lifted for now.

Occasionally she gets a little down but mostly it really seems as if something has clicked.

We have another problem we are working on now:

We used to live in London. Our 16 year old son always missed the place and wanted to live with his Auntie back there. She is associating with criminals etc, etc which we suspected but never knew for sure. There was even a recent police raid on the place...

Trouble is we needed 'space' to recover and let him stay there (we didnt know the full extent of the problem - FWW parents did but never told us full story (Doh!)). That was about 2 months ago and he has been there ever since.

Now we have to persuade him to come home.

That is a problem that we are working on together - making our family complete again. My wife and I worry and miss him so much.

Had it not been for the A and needing time alone to sort things we would never have let him go......

Free.. Your right of course about the media. It has changed though over the years and I do feel its slipping the wrong way.


So much for the close family unit..

Hi Jet, without doubt TV/magazines/films all glorify adultery. Hello Magazine is the best. You can almost guarantee that the celebrity couple proclaiming their love for one another in one edition, will later be divorcing and flaunting their new partners a few months later. I can't keep up!

I hope you can get your son to return home soon as it sounds like his aunt's place is a totally unsuitable environment. 16 year olds think they know it all, so I appreciate how delicate this might be. What about his school/friends? Can others try to encourage him too?

Sorry, Jet, about your son! So nice of her parents to be open and honest!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" />

You will get him back...you know your son better than anyone and although it is a difficult age, I have faith in ya! I wouldn't give him much of a choice, though, and I would call his Auntie and tell her you EXPECT her help or you will have to involve the authorities.

Glad to hear your W is staying with her resolve. I am in a complete and utter depression right now, cannot wait to get back on ADs, and it has nothing to do with W2S or anything regarding WD. It has everything to do with the devastation I have caused to my marriage. Thinking about all the times he suffered while I acted like an idiot. All the months I spent thinking I "got it" when I didn't. And now we are on the verge of bankruptcy, when 1 year ago we were prospering in a big way. How quickly things change. He tells me he is OK and doing so much better since I came here and really started helping him get over this. But the fact that he has to work his butt off to keep us from drowning in debt is a consequence he should not have to bear.

My point here is that there is guilt (once a WS finally "gets" it) that cannot be consoled. There are consequences that are sooo monsterous that sometimes I feel like I can't breathe. She will go through it, too, and all you can do is be there for her. W2S actually apologized to me last night for "his part" in our financial demise, but I couldn't even hear it. It made me want to throw up. Eventually, once things start to clear up, I will be OK, but just know that there is guilt beyond comprehension once the fog clears...

As always, I wish you the best. The hardest part for her is upon you, and all you can do is be there for her. Let her be there for you and apologize a million times if necessary. You'll be OK now!!

Resonance.

I am sorry to hear that you are suffering right now but believe me when I say your husband will stay strong for both of you and you WILL get through this TOGETHER.

My wife and I are in a similar situation; the biggest threat to our happiness at the moment is her guilt and I feel for her but we are both focusing on the job in hand; that of putting our family, our finances and our relationship back together.

We both vow we will never allow others to get between us again and I know you two feel exactly the same.

I wish you all the best and I am confident that having read so much about your story, that you will both get through with your marriage intact.

PS Our son is back home and is slowly beginning to see the light! Thanks again for your words of support.

Yay for your son coming home! I knew you could do it.

And about putting things back on track...DITTO to you guys!

Thanks for your kind words...I am so happy for you!!

Great news on your son back home. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> I am glad you updated b/c I was so worried!