Robertswife,

I did the same. After nine months of continued broken NC's, continued lying and secrecy, and lack of effort into the M, I got angry, LB'd, Plan B'd and ended up moving by myself when the house sold.

I've often wondered if I acted to hastily, but how long do you try? It was extremely frustrating and I guess the anger built to explosion.

WS has now filed for D. All he remembers is the day that I LB'd.

This thread has become my favorite to read over the last day or so. Only because self-respect is something I needed to get a kick in the pants with. Frankly I needed the 2x4 approach. I had a chat with a good friend today about my whole situation, he said that I needed to take action. He spelled out my whole situation bluntly without judgement. Ht knows both sides of the story as well. I think this is something I needed. I think I've had false hope for too long, because my WH never filed for the D and he would always spend time with me and schedule things with me. I was getting crumbs. I just can't live on hope and crumbs anymore.

And thus have decided to go the route of the D, I just can't take it anymore. I have contacted a mediator and am making plans for the upcoming denuptuals? Is that a word? I want to use it because I need a little humor in my life right now. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

I like it....works well with

denial, degradation, deceit, dilusional, despicable......... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

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if you say so.

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It hasn't been ignored. You have brought this up more than once, and each time James has said that he realizes he should not have let that happen.

It can't be undone. Why keep bringing it up and beating him over the head with it?

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ok...I want to add my two cents worth....if you all are so upset with people not getting mad, why is it when people do get mad, everyone tries to calm them down and tell them to "be still"? I mean, how long is it supposed to go on. This happens even with BS who have been in Plan A for months.....I say this because whenever I get mad, everyone says this to me and tells me I am not done with Plan A. Plan A is controlling your love buster's, but doesn't Dr. Harley state that the time for Plan B is when that can't be controlled any longer?????

I understand people not wanting BS to rage at the WS, but to me the rage comes from anger being built up over time.....I may not be a man, but I've got enough balls right now to tell my WS "here's the rest of you freaking crap, FU"

My interpretation of Dr. Harley's statement is that the time to go into Plan B is when you will no longer (future) be able to control your LB's.

I was sweet as pie to my then-WH until one day when I reached the end of my rope (about 2 days ahead of schedule), and just didn't have it in me to be nice EVEN ONE MORE TIME. So I quickly finished my Plan B preparations, and proceeded that night. It was at the point where I could no longer have controlled my LB's, but before I actually broke and ranted all over the place.

Having cut it that close myself, I recommend others stop a bit farther before that point.

sigh....

Sushi...good question. Simple answer.....read the first 10-15 pages...then read the last few of jame's thread. The SAME stuff is still happening.

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Gang:

About this question:


I guess its all over this thread now....

Interesting discussion. It really is, can we steer back onto the track?

LG