I am sorry to rain on this parade but why is it that we have to "doll" ourselves up. Why can't we just look good without being all "dolled" up.

I tell my hubby that he looks good even if he is in the ugliest clothes i have ever seen.

I just have never liked the fact that we women are supposed to go to such lengths to "look good".

I am not a good house keeper nor do i keep my car clean. I am not good at decorating or doing my hair (I have had the same hair style my whole life). I do not cook gourmet meals i cook what my family likes (even though it is the pretty much the same menu every week) and they all seem very happy with it. I bite my nails so i do not polish them. I do at least paint my toenails in the summer time.

But i am a GREAT mother and i NEVER miss an opportunity to spend time with my kids no matter how i look or what my house looks like. I figure once my kids are gone then it is my time.

Again sorry to be so negative i just don't like being a 'girlie girl" at all.

It's all about HAPPINESS, Still...

I'm HAPPY when I FEEL "PRETTY"...

I'm HAPPY in a "PRETTY ENVIRONMENT"...

Without my makeup, I have DARK CIRCLES under my eyes and, in MY heart and mind, I'm UGLY..

It's about LIVING A BEAUTIFUL, JOYFUL LIFE....

GODDESS POWER is for ME..not my husband or anyone else...

If you're HAPPY with your life the way it is, more GODDESS POWER to ya..

I guess i can live with that Mimi LOL

I am happy with my life for the most part.

^5 Mimi, well said.

SC for ME it was about gaining confidence which was (is at times) still reeling from H's EA.

Well i think we could always use a confidence boost. I know i certainly could, seeing as i do not have much self confidence.

I guess in my mind "dolling" myself up does not raise my self confidence because i do not feel like myself. I feel fake when i am all dolled up. Now don't get me wrong, when i go out with my hubby i like to look nice of course. And i have to dress up for work and i wear my makeup (under eye concealer, blush, and mascara) pretty much everyday. I am just totally not a "girlie girl" in any way.

Like i said i do not decorate, i have ABSOLUTELY nothing on any of the walls in my house. I do not have knick knacks, none of my things match, i do not have matching bed clothes even. I sometimes think i should have been a man LOL because i for the most part can not stand "girlie" things. I HATE to talk on the phone, i really just am not "girlie" at all and i am just fine with that.

It's OK to CHANGE, Still...

It's OK to step out of your comfort zone...

How can you be a WOMAN and not be "girlie" at all?

Are you "boyie"????

Your H is attracted to you as A WOMAN..I would HOPE...

I'm not buying this about you...

I'm not ever "DOLLED UP" btw...

What in the HECK is "DOLLED UP", Still?

We are saying to CELEBRATE your WOMANHOOD to the MAX...

So WHY are you ACCEPTING of this?

WHY don't you want to WORK on this?

Why are you assuming that ONLY WOMEN love to DECORATE?

I have lots of questions to ask you, Still.

You seem to make lots of judgments and assumptions.

My sons, very masculine, LOVE GQ MAGAZINE. Heard of that? It's the MALE EQUIVALENT OF VOGUE...in high school, they wanted their TIMs (shoes) to "Match" their shirts...ok, they are MY SONS...

I am not sure how to respond to this.

I wear a size 3 and have since i graduated from High school over 25 years ago (except after D-Day i was on the infidelity diet even though i did not need it). I dress in "girlie" clothes even on the weekends (since i have to dress up for work) because i am so thin i feel like i look like a boy if i don't.

I am tall so i have never worn heels because it makes me feel too tall plus i have really big feet.

I do not know for sure if my husband is attracted to me as a WOMAN that is part of my not being able to get over it issues i think. In the begining of our relationship he told me a couple of things that makes me think he does not find me very attractive.

And to me "dolled up" is in really nice clothes and heels and make up and a matching purse etc. Heck i have one purse that i carry until it falls apart and then i buy a new one. I have one pair of tennis shoes and one pair of dress shoes (different colors but only one pair of each color black, brown and navy), i think i only own one dress and the last time it was on my body was my husbands mother funeral.

I am fine with my not being "girlie" i just don't go for all the "girlie" stuff, i don't really like it and find it a waste of MY time. But to each his own.

I am not assuming that only woman like to decorate. I am assuming that MOST women like to decorate and i do not. Heck i really do not like most things that are considered "girlie". I never have even when i was younger.

And i guess i don't want to work on it because i am okay with it. I know who i am and i know that on the inside (not so sure since the affair) i am beautiful so i do not care about the other stuff.

My son is very much into SHOES himself.

Also add to that reading magazines so while i have heard of both GQ and Vogue i have not ever read any of them. I read forensics books and that is pretty much the extent of it.

How come you're not sure what your husband considers to be ATTRACTIVE?

Ask him.

Meeting that NEED is CRUCIAL....

Maybe I'm totally WRONG, Still, and FORGIVE me if I am...

You say you're OK..but are you, really?

Why settle for MEDIOCRITY in life?

I'M SHOOTING FOR THE STARS!

Because in the beginning of our relationship he told me two different things that have stuck with me.

1. If i had not married you i probably would have married a "knock out".

2. You are just a "Plain Jane" and when i told him how bad that hurt my feelings he said there is nothing wrong with being a "Plain Jane".

So i have never felt like he found me as attractive as i find him.

Because like i said (until the STUPID AFFAIR) i felt beautiful on the inside so i did not care about my outer appearance. And i do not have any outstanding features besides my long legs (and by golly i have gotten plenty of compliments on them).

And i still would rather just be pretty on the inside and not worry about the outside. I need LOTS of work for the inside these day though.

Still:

What's WRONG with being PRETTY on the INSIDE and OUT?

That's what I mean about MEDIOCRITY...Just being PRETTY on the INSIDE is just HALF of it....

And PRETTY on the OUTSIDE is NOT equivalent with "DOLLED UP", BTW...

I'm advocating LIVING A BEAUTIFUL LIFE..which would include BEAUTIFUL SCENERY on your WALLS...

Sorry Mimi, i have two sisters (one is 20 years older and the other one is 18 years older) who have been trying my whole life to make me more "girlie" i am just not interested.

I will keep working on the inside though.

I'm not encouraging you to be more "GIRLIE"..

You missed my point...

I'm encouraging you to LOVE your WHOLE SELF..INSIDE AND OUT...

I think there is a misconception that we ladies are gettin dolled up solely to entice our men, or for some petty competition.

NOT SO, People, NOT SO!

I do my hair and dress nicely, started doing more makeup, lose weight, exercise, do things aroud the house, garden, hang out with my girls ALL primarily because I feel good when I do. It doesn't matter who else sees me--*I* see me. I matter.

If a natural consequence of my outward appearance being more spiffy is that more attention is drawn toward me, so be it. If not, I'm A OK with that, too. It's like Mary J. Blige sings..

"So I like what I see when I'm looking at me when I'm walkin past the mirror"

Still, nobody can change your inner beauty except YOU. Your worth lies solely with you. Part of the collateral damage from these affairs is that you doubt what you see, what you feel, what you have believed in.

I learned that I need to care more about me; to tend to my needs first.

What makes someone more Goddesslike is taking the time to figure out what it IS that YOU love, that makes you feel strong, confident and feminine. It could be makeup or woodworking, gardening or digging. Whatever. I feel best when I'm cleaning and creating, either in the garden or in my home. I like digging into the soil, getting dirty, meanwhile I'm creating something beautiful that I can enjoy day in and day out.

It's not all makeup and mirrors, but it's not a bad place to start, either. I once stood and looked CLOSELY at my face for a solid five minutes, in the mirror--no makeup, just me and my reflection.

What do you love to do Still? What makes you feel like dancin?

I am not trying to say that you are dressing up or whatever to impress anyone. I just don't get it is all.

The ONLY thing that i love to do is be with my kids. I do not do anything outside of work except be a mom and that is what brings me joy.

I feel strong and confident at my job and being a mother, other than that i do not feel confident about anything.

Does anyone? Don't we all look in the mirror and wish we could change something about ourselves?

I am not saying that i don't love myself inside and out because i do. I am not happy with the some of the things about me but i love myself. And i LOVE my kids. Nothing in life is more important to me than they are and this stupid affair stuff has even had an effect on that.

I guess i just need to but out of all of you GODDESSES godessness because it just is not for me. I like to read all of your stories though they make me laugh.

Still:

It is your JOB to prepare your kids to LEAVE you...

Then, what, Still?

AMEN, TO SL, BTW!!

POWER TO THE GODDESSES!!