Anyone ever have the feeling that you didn't marry the one you were ment to????

Not because you are in the middle of an affair or anything in relationship to that. But you look at your life the way it is now, and you imagine you are happy, you made it thru the affair, things are getting better between you and your husband, but in the back of your mind is that other person, the one that you dated in jr high, and again in high school, the one that no matter who you were with, or who he was with would still walk you to class everyday, the one that you knew you were ment to be with, but because of the wall you had built around you feelings, you didn't let them in... the one that to this day you find yourself attending all the birthday parties of his nieces and nephews in hopes that he will be there...in hopes that he will tell you he feels the same....

I have found myself searching for this person more and more, and I need some advice on how to move on, or what should I do next?

Where your thoughts dwell, there is your treasure.

We make our treasure, LF...by choosing where we focus. When you focus on OP outside your marriage, then you abandon your marriage.

Lying to your spouse can be a manifestation of lying to yourself.

Has your WH earned his "F" yet? Has there been any contact since last June? Did you guys begin marital counseling? Spend the 15 hours of UA together, week after week?

What Harley recommends definitely supports treasuring your marriage, your partner, your life, because when you choose to act from radical honesty, spend that one-on-one time, meet each other's ENs, you are focusing on your marriage, treasuring it.

Takes a lot of time, effort and awareness to heal from a wound so deep, LF. In reading your previous posts, sounds like you've been working on yourself...learning about forgiveness.

Do you believe that God did not bring you and your H together? Who else would be "meant" for you? If you are thinking of someone else who would change your life, bring you what you lack...then maybe you're signalling to yourself what you are unwilling to do for yourself, choosing rather to believe you lack, are lacking...need someone else to complete you.

Stolen Beauty sounded like a book that said you are already whole, lacking nothing...God is a the God of abundance...brings opportunities again and again...until we take them. He signals us that we are his creation...and teaches us to love from our commitment, even when we don't feel loving...if we're willing to listen and focus on our commitment.

Did your WH end contact, go through withdrawal, recommit to your marriage? Has he been open and honest to your questions about his A? Has he been intimate with you, sharing his thoughts and feelings? Have you been available to hear him? Are you sharing yours?

LA