Ayup

Thing that jumped out to me about it was that I've run across these verses SO MANY times in the last several months.


Little reassurances don't hurt though do they?

NO they don't.

However, I have a question to ask you. When they get to the part of holding out hope until death. How did that reach you?

I take it quite literally in fact.

I'm not entirely sure how I feel about it though, but I do know that I'm holding out for now.

The next hurdle comes when the D becomes final, and then I'll evaluate, pray, and seek guidance as to what I do next. If I feel God is urging me to keep the door open even after, then that's what I'll do.

If and when the time comes, and it's certainly not today, but if that time comes, can we discuss what leaving the door open means.

Did you see my house deal fell through. It's so weird, because I have all along felt like I'm not done in that house. Not sure why, but told my YS it one day. Then I resigned myself to the sale and it was to close next week, but now this.

I am interested in what G-d has planned on this one.

Yep.. how odd is it now that when things don't quite go our way in our lives, we get a tinge of... almost excitement.. to see how God means for things to turn out?


I dunno.. a different approach to life I suppose.

A different approach indeed, almost the ability to get back a child like innocence to see what is revealed.

Another way to help us heal inside with G-d.

James - I am so glad to see the place where you are. I just know that God has all kinds of good things in store for you.

I ended up having to call it quits on my marriage. Moved back in with my parents so we are no longer "county" neighbors. But I am still not too far away from you.

I hope things continue to move forward for you.

I like what you said about the excitement in waiting to see what God has in store for us next. I realize now that marrying my STBX was my will and not God's. I have totally given my life's direction over to him and we will wait to see what happens. I am actually very excited. I feel a hope inside that I haven't felt for a long time.

I continue to keep you and your son in my prayers.

(((((((((GC)))))))))

I'm so very sorry to see all that you're going through.

I'll step up my prayers for you hon, and hope that God reveals His direction for both you and your H.

I admire the strength you've shown through this, and know that you'll come through it all just fine.



I suppose it may be time for an update, but to be honest.. while there have been interactions with WW in the past week.. everything has been pretty civil, except for a phone thing last night, and I didn't engage, just let her spew and then ended the call. Not triggering or anything.. I'm not sure if it's indifference, or just that I'm not letting myself get all worked up about things that are out of my control. I guess my most prevalent thought is that if she wants to live her life angry and bitter.. at this point that's pretty much her problem.. not mine.

As for what I've been busy doing? Apart from chasing after DD and DS from Family Fun nights at DD's school to softball games and swim meets.. *catches breath*. I've been spending what little downtime I have either working on the yard and landscaping at the house, or writing music. I'm feeling creative again, and it's been a pretty good outlet for getting the buried stuff out and dealing with it. Music has always been one of those 'anchors' in my life.. so getting back to making it instead of just being a participant is feeling pretty good. I've been playing with a couple of guys that I'm really comfortable with as well so that's been helping I'm sure.

That's about it.. still all quiet on the legal front, and no word yet from the evaluation.

Keeping many of you in my prayers, my deepest respect, thanks, and admiration for all of my friends who are sharing this journey of mine, and their own.

{{{{{{{{{{{Jamesus}}}}}}}}}}}

Isn't it interesting how both of our WW are spewing unahppiness and anger or whatever at us and they are the ones who left to be with the one they love.

Mimi and SL eloquently put out there that I am still not letting go. I thought I had, but once again I am looking at that behavior and seeing how I can let go more.

You are doing an amazing job of it. It so helps me when you post about you walk, because we walk such similar paths and your faith and trust is so evident in everthing you are doing today. I need to get to your point and I am not sure what I am or what I am missing to get there.

Any suggestions is appreciated.

What are you doing this weekend? What cha think about Marvin Harrison?

(((( Queenie ))))

To be honest with you, I'm not entirely sure what it took to get to this point. It's just kind of something that happened over time with all of this. I know WW is making an effort most times to keep things civil on her end, and I know she's every so often trying to test my boundaries.

I almost wonder if she isn't prodding to see whether or not I really am more patient, more considerate... I do wonder sometimes if she's not dipping a toe in the water just to make sure I'm still here.

I think though that I've resolved myself to not let me get drawn into drama anymore with her. That might actually be the turning point.

I can't Plan B.. no letter until the custody thing is in the past. You're lucky in that all you have to do at this point where WH is concerned is to stick to your guns and your boundaries.

But my Plan A looks more like 'protect her from your LB's' rather than 'fill her lovebank at every opportunity'.... and that's one of the things Jennifer really pounded home in the one session I've had with her.

We'll see I suppose.



TOPIC SWITCH:


I'll probably just be noodling around the house this weekend, no major plans outside of DD's game on Saturday. DS is going with WW, DSD, and Wonderboy to the track on Saturday for Pole Day. I'm sure he'll have a blast.. one of those 'first family outings' we had after he was born, the company I worked for at the time had their company picnic at Indianapolis Motor Speedway during the weekend before the 500... good times.. I think this year I may actually take him to the race instead of just to one of the quali/practice days.. he's become quite a racing fan.

I've got some small projects left to do with the landscaping outside, and the inside could use a good cleaning and airing out this weekend since it's going to be nice tonight and tomorrow.

Other than that I might get me a six pack of beer and watch qualifying on TV, and wake at godforsaken hours of the night to catch the Formula 1 stuff live from Hungary... haven't watched an F1 race other than US, Canada, or Brazil live in ages... always record and watch later.

I've also got 2 new songs from my drummer to work on so I'm sure I can keep myself occupied.

ok... switch now to Fooooooooootball.

It's a little early for me to really get in gear for football season but... regarding the 'Marv'elous one.. I'm not real sure. He's such a mild mannered guy on AND off the field for the most part.. but I have heard of incidents from time to time that are meaningless mostly in and of themselves but may indicate a pattern with him... I'm hoping he isn't involved, as this would be a terrible stain on a wonderful career.

From a fan's perspective I'm not all -that- worried as I'm sure Wayne and Gonzales would be able to carry the load at WR.. but at the same time there's this 'image' of Marvin around here.. It'd be such a real shock to find out he's actually involved.

Go Bears!

Jamesus, what's happening? Are you just taking a break from the board? If so, I'll stop bugging you.

Just concerned about you, my friend.

Heya Sushi.. thanks for digging me up out of whatever page I ended up on, was actually going to go digging to make an update this morning.

Honestly I've been around, mostly looking in on other people as things have setteled into a something of a rhythm here, and I'm just working on getting on with my life.

The update for the past week or two kinda pales to the interesting email I found this morning that WW sent on Saturday. I suppose we'll try to keep things pretty chronological though.

My 'backup' this week (my mom) was out of town, so it was a lot of rush rush rush to get DD off to the various practices and games this past week. Her softball team on Monday night had one of those 'magical' come-from-behind victories they make afterschool movies about, so we rode that emotional high for a few days. DS missed his usual Wednesday because he was home sick from daycare, and WW and I, after a brief text msg discussion decided we'd try to just have him come by on Thursday, which he did. We didn't push things too hard as he was still feeling a little under the weather. Still, it gave me Thursday through Sunday with DS so that at least was good.

Because DS had been so sick, and the forecast predicted rain on and off throughout the weekend I ditched my origonal plan to go to the track to catch qualifications this weekend and dumped a good chunk of my tax rebate into getting tickets on the back stretch side of Turn 3 for the race this coming weekend. I'm sure DS and DD will have a blast, it really is one of those things that should be experienced at least once. Friday night DS was feeling pretty good though so he, DD, and I puttered around the yard and played outside for most of the weekend. We checked out this great indoor kids park on Saturday with all these inflatables, and the wee ones had a ball with that. Sunday was pretty subdued in comparison. After Mass we went to eat and then hooked up with an old friend of mine, her kids, and her boyfriend to go see Speed Racer (which I thought was pretty durn good, and the kids loved it), and then hang out until it was time for DS to go back with WW.

Well, the interesting part of all this leads us to that old familiar segment:

OUT OF THE MOUTHS OF WAYWARDS

Well, in truth this came in the form of an email, but we'll get to that.

Saturday WW called late in the afternoon (her usual custom is around 10:30 in the AM) while we were at the indoor kid park. I saw a few minutes after she called that I'd missed the call in all the noise going on, and I waited until DS had a moment of downtime inbetween amusements to call her back. Now she has a habit of not answering her phone so I stayed on the line with every intention of just handing the phone to DS once she picked up, but alas Wonderboy answered the phone and when I asked for WW by name he decided he'd play gatekeeper and ask who was calling.

So I told him.

'Oh it's her husband.'

It was met with some uncomfortable chortling and a repeat of the word 'husband' before passing the phone to WW. DS really didn't want to talk on the phone so I had him call her back later after we'd left the place.. but honestly I really didn't think about it too much.. that is until I got this email this morning (sent Saturday night about 20 minutes after that exchange:



James,

I just had a talk with Wonderboy. He is trying really hard to respect the fact that you are DS's dad right now. I know what you are doing and it has to stop. You are not now, and have not been for almost a year already, my husband. I told you this when you called me at work and told my co-workers that you were my husband. Stop it. You are my son's father. Thats it. Wonderboy is trying to respect that but you are making it difficult oon him to do so with the childish comments. HE is also the one encouraging your son to talk to you on the phone when he doesn't want to, not just me. You might not like the fact that I am with him, but I AM with him and nothing will change that. Get over it and quit acting like a child. Try to get along with him. Not for me, but for your son. DS loves Wonderboy and your behavior towards Wonderboy is only going to hurt DS in the long run. Don't do that to our son.

WW


I haven't replied.. nor do I intend to. Though I do have some REALLY juicy thoughts on reverse babbling the matter.

In the end though, Wonderboy seems to have reality coping issues.. of course I already know that he struggles to respect the fact that she is a wife and mother.. his struggles really aren't my problem though.

Though I must admit I'm a little curious what assumption she's made now about 'what I'm trying to do'. I bet it'd be pretty amusing.

You are better than me. If it were me, I would reply:

Dear Wife & Wonderboy,

I appreciate that you want to conventiently dismiss the legal reality that I am still your husband and Wonderboy has no such legal capacity. Until a Judge issues an order stating that we are no longer husband and wife,the reality is I am your husband.

Now, I believe since you go to Mass that you are Catholic. If that is the case, I would add:

Additionally, regardless of what a Judge says and what you and Wonderboy want to pretend the reality is, in the eyes of God, I am your husband. Unless you can prove that ours is not a Sacramental (meaning one or more of the elements required for a Sacrament is/are missing) Marriage, I remain your husband.

Okay, I've vented enough....your WW is a piece of work!

Regards,

Brits Brat

Oh.. the response I had come up with was somewhat similar, though again.. I have no plans to send anything at this point.

WW,

I'm sorry Wonderboy is having a really hard time coping with the realities of your relationship. Perhaps you'd do better to find someone completely bereft of all moral fabric. Best of luck, you were so close this time.

J



There's a much longer version which I'm sure would make for interesting reading.. but I'm just not inclined to give her the energy required to type it out.

That just made me laugh, James. It's too bad we never get to USE that stuff but thanks for sharing!

Fox

"Exxxxxxxxxxxxcellent" - Monty Burns


Award winning.

Nice response. Would that it could make a difference.

Interesting that she chose to bring DS into it. You didn't that I can see. Typical, I suppose.

Sigh.

Glad I could spread some joy folks

While I have a sense of humor these days about all this, I must admit to being mildly triggered by it. I'm not so much hurt by it, or even sad.. the funny thing is..

The stuff that makes her email to me so funny, is also the same stuff that make it so sad. We really do get front row seats to witness people we've loved, admired, and cared for set a collision course with consequence, taking as many people out along the way as they can.

Wonderboy is pretty good at bowling I'm told though.. so hey.


Anyhow.. Guy Smiley.. The fact that she tries to twist everything into blah blah blah for DS's best interest isn't lost on me. It's her way of trying to manipulate the situation.. she knows I'd do anything for my kids.

Wow, I just read the last page of your post and you sound EXACTLY like me.

It's hard to see the train wreck coming but not be allowed to blow the whistle...I TRULY do understand!

Yup.. especially when it's people you love that are stuck on the tracks.

Ugh.. rough day on that front I guess.. but at least it's good for a laugh or two.

Got to get rid of the urge to send that though..