Thank you SL.

This is our YDD. Her H (she M in Oct) is the abuser...he is NOT GS (3)'s father but treated him as such. Charges are pressed for Domestic Abuse, Protective orders are in place for ALL. The Dipshi% went and filed for sole custody after being released on Domestic Abuse charge!!!!! THANKFULLY judge granted full temporary custody to DD.

GS has slight bruise on his check. I cannot imagine the horror for that little guy to have a 6'4, 250 # man hit him. Then YDD H MADE GS to tell his mom it was an accident. NOT. That's when he went after our DD. Babies witnessed this too....UNBELIEVABLE.

The guy (fiance) that left was our ODD.

I really wonder WHAT we are doing wrong in our lives for so much heartbreak to continusouly fall our way.

mvg I AM SO SORRY to hear about this. I was so wrapped up in my own issues that i missed your post yesterday.

I will be praying for all of your family. It is not your fault and you are not doing anything wrong, life just sucks d@mn it.

We just have to keep our chin up and keep going forward. Again I am so sorry for all of your pain.

(((((((mvg)))))))

Thanks SC! Weekend went pretty well. Hectic to say the least! :eek: Two 11 month olds and 1 three year old keep things VERY busy. It's a good busy tho. Kids are doing fairly well. GS still having nightmares. DD not sleeping alot and babies aren't helping they were up ALOT during the nights this weekend.

My H is stressed! I can see it in him. We really feel caught between the devil and the deep blue sea right now. Our house is relatively small so no place to really escape too and I feel his anger is really just below the surface for SIL. We both feel sorta numb.

DD has to take GS to child protective services today to see if they can do a video interview to present to the court.

Please keep us in your prayers.

Thank you.

DD took GS to child protective services yesterday for his interview. They did a video and he was able to tell the man what had happened and other things our DD wasn't aware he had seen. My heart breaks for this little guy. The CPS man told DD that if he had to put GS on stand SIL's lawyer WOULD tear him appart. Unbelievable!

SIL had to appear at child protective services for interview, he claimed accident in hitting GS...yeah right! I don't know how he's explaining the battery of our DD.

Please keep us in your prayers!

Opps I misunderstood, SIL told CPS didn't happen! Lying SOB!

DD had to go for her mental exam because SIL & his Lawyer claimed she's under postpartum depression. She did well, and not nuts!:)

DD has to retain another lawyer because the one she had and most all in the local area SIL called and discussed the case and they can't represent her. Doesn't make sense since he didn't retain them but what do I know.

She sees 'new' lawyer today. I hope we don't have to mortgage the house to get him.

Please continue with your prayers for us, we VALUE and NEED the despartely. Thank you.

mvg I will keep praying for your family.

That seems strange about the lawyers to me too but i like you don't really know. You would think if he did not retain them it would not matter.

And it is good that she was "alright" with the CPS person even though i am sure you knew she would be.

Do you think the SOB is wayward also?

And how is your ODD doing? My goodness i feel bad for you having to deal with it from both D's.

Not that i am trying to bring you down even further but they are on my mind today. Three teenage girls (16, 15, & 14) from my kids school are being buried today. They were killed in an automobile accident on Sunday and the 16 yo and 14 yo were sisters and the parents only children. I have felt SOOOOO BAD for them this whole week. My DS knew the 16 yo who was the driver. So pray for their families as well.

I will leave on a more positive note. We are going camping this weekend (technically we already are camping but we had to come to work today but will go back this evening). H and I got things ready and left last night but went by ourselves (the kids will come with us tonight). We had a LOVELY evening and I am feeling a little better about the his work situation.

Well I hope you have a nice holiday weekend and i will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

I don't think SOB is wayward. He's too controlling for that, he has to make sure YD was home doing what he told her!

OD is doing well! I'm so proud of her. She is making VERY positive changes in attitude and getting HER self confidence back in place.

I'm so sorry for those families in the accident. Tragic especially when kids are involved. My prayers to them and the community. That is a very difficult situation to get through.

Have fun camping!!! And I'm SO glad you're feeling better!

(((SC)))

Thankfully our weekend was pretty uneventful.

DD is exhausted. Between the twins not sleeping well and her sitch she's about falling on her face. Frustration is starting. I also know she's really concerned/scared about court next week and having to get all hers & the kids things out of the house. She doesn't want H & me to go there because she's afraid we won't be able to control ourselves when her FUH glares across the yard. I can pull it off, H can't. But she's trying to get some friends to help get everything moved.

I hope the family court judge can/will give her justice. Domestic violence is such a hard thing to live thru and then have to go thru it all again in court. Of course F'upedH is denying all. His family witnessed alot but we're pretty sure they will have amensia during court. Sad sad sad sitch.

I'm trying to help her as much as possible with the kids without giving all to her sitch and none to our M. Hard balancing act.

mvg i am sure it is a very hard balancing act. But remember (just like you tell me) to take time out for you too.

Sometimes life i just so d@mn hard. That is something i tell my kids all the time. I hate to bring them down, but i think i have to be realistic with them. I tell them life is hard and usually not FAIR, so you might as well get used to it.

I know i have said this before but pre-A it seems i handled LIFE a little better than i do these days. I tend to get so upset about things these days.

I think your DD is correct about you and H. I am sure you would find it darn near impossible to not ay something. I certainly hope that the authorities will be present when she goes there.

Why does she have to leave anyway? Is that her choice?

Well try to have a good day. I am at home today, i am going to a banquet at my kids school later on this morning.

Thanks SC, I am trying to make time for H & me...just hard!

DD has to move because...house is next door to HIS grandmother AND that's where he is staying. So much for feeling safe with a protective order! His entire family live mostly across the road from each other ALL within 1/4 mile.

His family have witnessed the abuse and did nothing except to tell her keep your mouth shut and let him do what he wants. So moving is necessary. Plus we are 45 minutes from her if we needed to get to her quickly we couldn't.

I have to agree with you on life is hard and usually not fair. The only saving grace for me is one day each of us will have to answer to a higher power for our actions, so we try very hard to do the 'right' thing.

I pray DD's H will 'man up' and do the right thing but I don't know if that will be the case. Word I'm hearing right now is he's going to drag HER thru the mud. I hope there is a special place in H$ll for people like that.

Thank you for checking in on me. It's lonely in all our mess of a life.

I can only imagine what you are going through. I am so sorry.

That is HORRIBLE about his family. I am sure you are correct about the "amnesia" when it comes time.

I, like you, try to do the "right" thing and have taught my children that as well. Too bad it seems there are fewer of us than those that do NOT chose to do the "right" thing.

Hopefully the lord will not let the SOB "drag her through the mud" so to speak. I will keep her in my prayers.

Is your ODD still "moving forward"? I am sure you are all pretty focused on the YDD at the moment.

Well try really hard to make time for JUST you & H. This is a stressful time for you ALL!!!

Thanks SC.

ODD is getting better and better. I see her with more self confidence, demanding more respect from GD (3), smiling...She will on occassion have bad days but not as bad as they were. Thank God for that!

Commonwealth attorney who is representing YDD on assault and battery abuse charges called her last night. According to her in VA. men get a free pass on beating up on their wives. Probation probably but no much else UNLESS he does it again and she ends up in the hospital or dead. Unfortunately I sorta knew that. Sure would be nice to get justice.

How are you doing?

This whole sitch is starting to get to me. UGH! Worrying about court, DD's, GC, M, EVERYTHING!

Why is it that beating up your wife and children is acceptable to the justice system and society????? It's really blowing my mind. I sure do wish the wild west days were now...just handle the situation on your own and all is well.

We moved 99% of DD's things out of the house this weekend. SOB had gone in there EVEN while the house is in her possession by the protective order and of course has taken some of their personal things.

H & I are finding out more and more details of events leading up to her leaving...this SOB is a terror. She told us last night my OGS, 3, has a bear his bio. father gave him when he was born and loves it and MUST have it to sleep. Her SOBH asked him if he was excited to go to his Dad's and of course he was and was smiling and laughing....he ripped that bear to shreds in front of his face (My DD wasn't there at the time) but he admitted he did it. IF THAT'S NOT TERRORIZING for a small child I don't know what is. AND that's just one of many many things. My heart breaks over and over again.

Please my friends keep us in your prayers.

Update....DD removed the last of hers and the childrens things from the house after calling 911. SOBH and grandparents were harrassing and belittling. WE are SO glad that part is over.

Tomorrow is court, domestic violence charges and custody. Child protective services is insising on supervised visitation. Hallejuiah (sp?)!!!!! DD is requesting a minimum 2 yr. protective order on her and GS, I wish we could get it on the twins too.

Please pray that the even if it can't be proved in a court of law that the judge will recognize the domestic violence issues and rule in her favor.

Thank you ALL for your support!

It makes your blood boil, doesn't it. To terrorize a small child. What a weak man, so small and weak. When you see him, squint your eyes, and he will look as small as he really is. Don't give him power over you by allowing the anger to infest your daily lives. Feel it, picture yourself knocking him down, and move on. I used to hit my heavy bag, but cannot by doc's orders, so I use the good ole imagination to get me thru the roughest times.

He's a small, insignificant spec of dirt. He's not even good enough to be a PILE of dirt; nope--just a spec.

Now that I got that all out. Once you get past these court dates and such, have a cookout, celebrate new beginnings, or family or whatever, but celebrate life.

My thoughts EXACTLY SL! Thank you.

We went to court Thursday. What a nightmare. SILs entire family was there. His stupid mother filed for custody of twins without the advice of a attorney and without telling his attorney, AND she is suppose to be a custody witness for SIL. For those that don't know for nonparent to file for custody you MUST prove both parents are unfit. His attorney got thrown for a loop along with us.

His attorney also was NOT prepared. She didn't know the correct criminal charges he was charged with (domestic violence), judge was NOT a happy camper, he corrected her many times. On custody his attorney was also not prepared EXCEPT to call witnesses, she had no tax returns to determine child support etc. BUT we did. SIL was asked what he planned to pay...$150/mo for twins. Judge didn't like that either, so temporary support is $300. Everything is continued to July 24. DD has temporarty full custody with ALL protective orders in place. He did get supervised visitation...every Sun. from 9-5, his mother is the supervising person and 1 time during week from 1-5 with me supervising. When judge asked about weekly visit SIL said he's self employed (barber) so he can adjust his schedule to visit with kids.

My thoughts...1. SIL reports VERY low income to IRS as he is all cash business, do I need to say more?! 2. If he reports such low income but is taking 1 afternoon a week OFF in addition to his regular days off, doesn't it make sense to WORK to support your kids?!3.IF he's so concerned about his kids and is filing for custody HOW in the world can he support them on his income? 4. $300/mo doesn't EVEN cover child care...here it's about $110/wk per child!

After court....Saturday daughter gets certified letter from SIL's grandparents (sellers/owners) of house they lived in informing her "she is not welcome there and they will call the law if she comes there".

OK really petty on my part...the letter was written very badly I so wanted to correct with red pencil and return. Also letter says if any questions in regarding "the property of this letter contact attorney". They THINK SIL's attorney is also their attorney...it's alot of nonsence.

She also received a money order for child support. Really weird amount of money order. Took me a few minutes but I finally figured out what he did! He DEDUCTED the cost of postage & money order along with cost of certified letter and sent the rest. UNREAL but good....more rope and he hangs himself.

So now we're to Sunday..his mother shows to pickup twins. Things went cordially which I am grateful. DD attorney told me to make sure his mother understood the terms for her to supervise visits, mostly the kids are never to leave her sight. I did and she tells me in the "judge's chambers" (they were NOT in the judges chambers) he said any adult could supervise. NO, WRONG!
So before they are even in the car she's already looking for someone else to supervise them.

I don't know if there are actual written instructions for supervised visitation but we're going to see. This woman needs them...or maybe I do, heck who knows?!

Things didn't go well but with these folks could have been alot worse. I hope they keep doing things on their own without the advice of legal council!

For any that read this THANK you and keep us in your prayers.

Well mvg i am not sure what to think about this.

It sounds like his family are ALL REAL WINNERS to say the least. It sounds as if they think their son (or grandson or whatever) is PERFECT and could do no wrong.

And it probably is a good thing they are representing themselves, hopefully there will be more "shot feet" by the time they are done and the SIL will not have a fighting chance.

I will keep you and your family in my prayers.

Thank you SC...for your words, encouragement, and just for reading.

There are so many confusing things going on in my head...for my DD, GC and my H. I told my H the other night I can see we are really setup for a BIG fall again. We have no time & energy. I can see the past year repeating itself. I think he was a bit surprised I said it. But I do fear it. He retreats alot to the computer I think mainly to tune out everything going on. Heck I can't blame him, it's HECTIC around here. I'm NOT over doing the 'mother' thing but geesh with so many people especially little ones, it takes forever to do the basics.

He is good with the kids especially considering after working all day outside, he's worn out. But he is making a little time to be with each of them. He hasn't really complained about any of it, but I can see in his eyes a distance, disappointment, a wondering if this type of thing is EVER going to end, will WE ever be 'us'.

As nervous as we were about twins going away all day Sunday, we did spend time together. We are both exhausted tho. We did enjoy the quietness alot. We are both trying very hard to be there for each other but it's getting difficult.

Wednnesday is MY supervising afternoon with SIL and twins. Not looking forward to that. Is it horrible to want him to NOT see the kids?

Life is a soap opera.