Sure he'll be fine, it's just not what's best for him and it's not an example you want to set for your child.

just keep the communication open and age appropriate as the years go by and he'll have the best chance of not being severly affected by this

people say all kinds of silly stuff to make you feel better, it's human nature

I'm okay with people trying to reassure, it just doesn't change the situation. I'm gonna keep on chuggin along, like you said, keeping those lines open.

I'm grateful that I have begun to emerge from the tunnel. I'm not there yet, still have to do the whole divorce thing, settle the 'business' of a decade long marriage, and get through that stress, but I'm finished harboring all that anger/rage, and wasted brain cells on PWC.

I've learned a great deal, and have been able to apply my new found knowledge to the rest of my life. I UNDERSTAND so much more now, about when I was a child, about my own mother, my father, my sister and brother, family, about God. I'm grateful for the knowledge, it's the one GOOD thing that came of this mess.

Life is good, again.

Wow SL,

You are just so inspiring. What you have walked through and survived.

I actually understand the being done part. I am glad that you got the chance to recover your M, because that gave you the freedom to know you tried your best and it still didn't happen.

There was NOTHING more you could do, and so instead of feeling sorry for yourself, you are building a new life for you and DS and it's going to be full of blessings from G-d.

You know, Queenie, I believe I STILL would have gotten to this place without all the false recoveries. Even when you aren't actively working at marital recovery, either in Plan A or in Plan B or Plan B/D, you are giving it YOUR best shot.

The false recoveries actually did a lot of harm. Avoiding them is better, IMO. They just compound the situation, leaving more pain and confusion in their wake. I'm happy to have a clear head these days.

You don't have a sense that at least you had the opportunity to try?

Maybe it's just human nature to want what we didn't get?

Of course I do. I will say that Plan B would have been better for everyone, all around. Let's consider what my DS has been put through because I 'tried' again and again and again==BOOMERANG. I should have made better choices; but I believed what PWC had to SAY. I wanted so badly to save my marriage, I forgot to protect my son.

For ME, and only ME, I would have rather he stayed away. Lending false hope to the situation made it HARDER for me to figure out what I was to do. It confused me to no end.

I would have preferred Plan B, to be honest.

When I read about BS's in similar situations to what mine was (an unrepentent WS wanting to come home), I CRINGE, because I want to tell them to sit tight in Plan B until the WS is completely bottomed out.

I never got a sense, from PWC, that he was all in. I always felt as if he was looking to me to PROVE TO HIM that his family, his wife, his marriage, was worthy.

I wish I didn't understand, but I do and in the end I guess I should count my blessings.

Because G-d is really protecting me from this monster.

{{{{{{SL}}}}}}}}

You are so amazing to me, you know.

Consider it as I was IN God's way.

Not the safest place to be is it.

In his way....

SL,

So what's up for the long weekend? Will you be drinking heavily to try to erase the visuals from Fox's thread? LOL!!

I'll be off to the lake in the morning with the kids.

Hope you have a great 4th.

Not much going on. I plan on going to see the fireworks somewhere, probably have a cookout with family tomorrow, a drink or two to blot out my memory of swimmers with yucky stuff slathered all over them (thanks James :/), and relaxation.

DS is with Dad this weekend.

Hey SL! I hope you had a good 4th.

My 4th was good. It was raining round these parts, so I had some din din with the family, and watched a movie. It was a quiet weekend. Good and bad. No big whoop.

DS came home yesterday, all smiles. It is always so good to see him happy. He then proceeded to tell me that he and daddy and 'daddy's friend' went to see fireworks at Ch. lane (local yearly fireworks). I asked what friend? He said he didn't remember her name.

Needless to say, I dropped that like a hot rock. We just moved on to the games he played, the pool time that he got with dad, etc. It sounded like a good time for DS, which is good.

Don't feel much of anything about it. Kinda more empty. It doesn't surprise me in the least. I expected to hear about a new girlfriend SOONER than later. Probably why I was prepared when I heard it. I swear, not even close to surprised. I asked no questions. I'm not going to PUMP my son for info, and I think it's better for me to not know.

Meh, movin' right along...

Hi SL,


...just want you to know...that I take this advice to heart...should I ever be in that position...thanks, SL...

...and given what you have had on your plate....I think you are doing just great!

((((((((((((((((SL)))))))))))))

Hi SL,

I miss you girl. Been awhile. Sounds like you are doing ok, not great, but that's just part of the deal isn't it.

It's a drag when its raining for the 4th, but quiet can be nice.

No matter how hard we protect ourselves from WH behavior, somehow it happens and we feel it deep in our soul. You are one brave woman and I imagine you are holding in a little of the hurt that you felt in that conversation with DS. {{{{{{{{SL}}}}}}}}}}. This is for you.

Have a good day and hopefully we connect soon.

Thank you for dropping by, ladies.

Queenie, sweetie, I'm doing fine. Hearing about the new lady, whomever she may be in whatever capacity she serves is fine with me. It really does help ME to move on. It's what I need to be doing for me.

I sleep fine, no weird dreams anymore, no longing for what WAS. Things are different now. That's okay, and to be expected. I needed to sever all ties with PWC, because it was killing me to hold on.

I hear about success stories, and I find it fascinating that people divorced and then got back together. It's great. I have no expectation that PWC will ever be the kind of man that I will want to be with again. IF it happens, it will be a nice surprise. I'm not holding out any hope anymore. NONE.

I don't speculate on what tomorrow will bring. I just live day in day out, seeing what I see. Soaking up the sun.

I gotta say, though, it would be nice to have a man to laugh with, to lay with, to love. That will come when I'm ready, I suppose. Gotta get divorced first

I can so relate to this... well, with a bit of a gender change for the last bit.

And I don't mean a gender change for me.. just that the gender of the other person would be different (calm yourself Chrisner!).

Oh.. and I did hit the pool this weekend SL.. no pig snot or speedos though.. I did cut a pretty interesting figure in my trunks though.. and I think maybe one of the kids snotted on my shoulder..

Better now?

As Monty Burns would say...

Eeeeexcellent.

Wow, I feel like Triumph the Insult Dog

bumpdittybump for Kim.