I am just checking on you blue.


AF

AF,

I sent you a PM.

I would like to check out some of your recovery resources (books) that were very helpful for you.

Thanks,

Blue

Yesterday,

I celebrated DD11 birthday -- DD wanted STBX to go so I relented.

We went to dinner and bowling (at request of DD).

STBX and I did not have any 'real' conversation at all.

STBX left me a note this morning saying she had fun and thanks for letting her go.

STBX usually does not thank me for anything -- in fact we are still in silent treatment mode with each other.

I do not want to try to accdept this as an attempt to try to reconcile since I have not seen STBX initiate any action to demonstrate an attempt to piece the M back together no apology, counseling, talks, etc).

Franlkly, I just don't think I can recover from this, and I just rather move on although I know this will be tough on STBX.

BN,

Private messages are not enabled here on the MB forum.

I applaud you for not accepting her appreciation for a nice time as an attempt at reconciliation.

She thanked you for the nice family time opportunity that you relented for...

That's what it was about. That experience only.

LA

LA,

Thanks for the heads up on the PMs - I understand completely.

Thanks for the 'sanity check'.

Besides I just discovered that she is 'hijacking' my mail -- anything that deals with money or finances (saw it tucked under some pillows as I was searching for some children's DVDs).

This brought me back down to earth! Whew!!!!!

I just need a physical separation BAD!!!!

Blue,
See if you can have you bills sent to you by email. Stop having them sent to your house. email them to an email that you can access out side of the home computer
in case she puts a key logger on it.

AF

AF,

You should have received an email from me on book resources.

Let me know if you successfully received it. I am seeking some good divorce recovery books. Sadly, my D is STILL in the works since last Oct. I guess I will just have to stay busy with myself and the kids.

Spence

Hi Blue,
I list will be in your email in the morning I would have sent it sooner but my laptop does'nt like the web connection at home. I will send it from work.

AF

AF,

Thanks for your input. Great list of books. I do recognize some of them as I do have some already.

Other than the Word, I am going to start attending a divorce support group this Thurs for the next few weeks.

I am looking forward to this very much.

Take care,

Blue

AF,

I confronted my WW today about the tax stimulus check that supposedly came when my mailbox key 'came up missing' last weekend.

Turns out that WW DID take my mailbox key until she took the tax stimukus check out of the mail.

She has it hidden and will not let me cach it until I get her a dependent military ID card (something I refused to do since we are getting a D). She them tells me that she rates spousal support (although we are still living in the same house). I told her to let her OM take care of her - he can put his money where his mouth is.

Bottom line, I said she needs the money more than I do, and she just put herself in a tougher position. I said if she cashes the check w/o my knowledge, I will contact the IRS and let them know about her forgery.

I will not be 'strong-armed' into getting an ID card for her. She wants it awfully bad and I do not know why!

Then again, I could just pick my battles and get her one for 6 mos and get the stimulus check (most of it I plan to acquire).

I do not want her to think she can just force me to comply with her demands.

Hey, great boundary enforcement, Blue...way to go.

Just popping in with a book suggestion...and AF may have it on his list...it's an old one I found in a used bookstore...might be out of print...

Rebuilding when your relationship ends...that was the title. Of course, it actually helped save my marriage...wasn't its intent, though.



LA

Hay Blue,
just checking on you. How was the Divorce support group last night?

On thing that i wanted to tell you. You children are watching you, And you are the example of how to take a bad situation and turning into a stepping stone.
It is not easy but they are watching . My boys have come me a few times and in a roundabout way said thinks. When they are having a hard time with something they come to me not their mother. She runs from hard situations. Any way have a great week end . My church is hosting one of the largest firework shows in the area on Sunday so there is alot of work this weekend.

Blessings

AF

The support group is great! I need something positive that will help me heal. It is just refreshing to be aroung others who know what you are facing (just like those on this forum)!

I understand about the kids -- they do come to me and not their mother.

In fact, she continues to sabotage her efforts with the kids when she says she is going to do things with the kids yet ends up not doing anything or doing something for herself while the kids just tag along. Now, the kids do not want to do anything with her!

I still remind them to have respect for their mother although I let them voice their displeasure.

AF, have a great weekend!

Blue

Blue,
Wanted to a say have a good 4th with the kids. Your a blessing.

AF

AF,

You are a blessing as well. I am participating in my divorcecare support group and it is a relief to know that there are people just like me - feel like misfits socially, and just broken.

My 4th was great. I took my kids out to a water park but it was tough seeing all of the couples and families together while I was there alone with my kids.

Nonetheless, I was happy they had a great time - it was worth it for me!

Take care!

Blue,
I know what you mean about a miss fit. That is why i found this site. Seeing that other great people going though the same thing.

I had a call the other day, it was from former next door neighbor and coworker (OM). I am a scuba diver. He was wanting to know about scuba gear. It was real strange, I have forgiven him but when he tried to define XW i got off the phone. He asked me if i talked to XW I told him NO. My wife is my Meditator she deals with her, Xw doesnt like my wife because my will put up with her bull so there is not alot communication.

My youngest came off of child support last month it is nice having extra money, and there is no reason to talk to XW. I am FREE at last.

My son was complaining about his Mom, and I told him you are 18 you can deal with her. I did give options, and let him make up his mind what to do.

Any way
There are others in the same ship as you. Dont let the Devil tell you otherwise. If you feel alone PM me.

Blessings

AF

WW came up to me this evening while I was doing some reading and asked me why did I not wish her a happy B-day this past Wed.

Never mind the fact that she spent the entire day in LA with a "friend" of hers and did not return home until 11:15p.

I told her I was in no b-day celebrating mood. She them suggest that I should take her to see the dark Knight and then take her to an Italian restaurant for dinner.

Frankly, I have no desire to take her anywhere at all! Its as if she is trying to jam herself back into my life as if nothing ever happened.

I just do not have it in me. In fact she left her laptop on when she left the house one night this past week and I noticed that she had a profile entered on no less than 4 dating sites.

She must think I am a special fool!

Meanwhile I continue to go to my divorce support group with my kids while I wait for my D to go final. It has been 10 months so far....

bluenote

"WW came up to me this evening while I was doing some reading and asked me why did I not wish her a happy B-day this past Wed.

Never mind the fact that she spent the entire day in LA with a "friend" of hers and did not return home until 11:15p.

I told her I was in no b-day celebrating mood."

Why play games and not be direct? You should of told WW why you were not in the mood not just us. By "friend" did you mean OM?

"She them suggest that I should take her to see the dark Knight and then take her to an Italian restaurant for dinner."

Is WW plan A'ing you, why?

"I just do not have it in me. In fact she left her laptop on when she left the house one night this past week and I noticed that she had a profile entered on no less than 4 dating sites."

Did you calmly ask WW why she would wants to out with her, and why would you
want to take her out when she is on 4 dating sites? Better than saying no I don't want to take you about, but why you won't.

"She must think I am a special fool!"

You would know if you would of been open with her by telling and asking the topics I mentioned.

"Meanwhile I continue to go to my divorce support group with my kids while I wait for my D to go final. It has been 10 months so far...."

Has the judge signed off on everything? Are you just waiting for the waiting period to end?

TR,

I see your point about being direct!

I did not mention the 4 dating sites because I did not want her to know my intel.

By friend - I did mean OM (or perhaps another OM).

I know she insults my intelligence when she says "her friend."

I am sure this will come up tomorrow when she asks me again to take her out. I will be direct when she asks me why I will not take her out.

I am waiting for the D to still go final! Its been a long 10 months.

Bottom line - I cannot trust her and I want to move on with my life.

Thanks TR!

Hay Blue,
Just Checking on you and the Kidos.

Blessings

AF