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No respect for women or is it too much for have given some of them the chance? You can ask dates how I treat them and see if I have no respect. The last date I recall reading about (from you) was the one where you met up at a restaurant.... she kept looking at you....you weren't that particularly attracted to her.... she kept looking at you....you realized that you didn't care for her... she had driven an hour and a half to the meeting place.... being the nice guy that you are, you invited her over to spend the night...(roll eyes) you had sex with her...and in the morning she wouldn't leave fast enough to suit you... so...oh, yeah...the comment was that you have respect for your dates....and to ask them.... Can you give me HER number please? committed
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RMW, Yes fed up. But I know some behaviors come with the sex of the person usually automatically. Like men have a lot of behaviors ( not all) but like laziness and putting burdens on the wife. Maybe there is no right and wrong but it takes two people to see it that way not just one or resentment builds. At least when I did something the ex would bring up later at least I admit it and appologize. She under no circumstances would do that. I've seen friends go thought the same and even brother's sisters do it to them.
In the one year I've been on my own I had one serious relationship and dated maybe 10 to 12 women. Many one meeting was enough. I know it will take a very unique girl for me to get serious again. I would stop dating and putting energy into it but how to go without sex baffles me. And I get a lonely spell here and there but in general not lonely. Miss the ex but not the relationship. I will think about what you said. One thing I have to say is I make sure all my doctors and counselors are female because they seem to care more. It's just when you get in a relationship things can change./
MEREMORTAL---It could be anything from the color of curtains, or if I mention her clutter and knick nacknacks everywhere dont look good. Or when out of 3 shelves in the medicine cabinate I just wanted one of them mine with just my stuff on it and I asked nicely please. She already had two. Why put my stuff in a hard to find place and hers in the open? If I did that omg! BIg fight over that. The her internet guy friends who she was talking to 50 hours a week and me 12. Big fight.
auto-- yes. they want to be a victom and if they can irritate you enough with that to loose your temper that reasures them your a you know what. I would bring up something the ex did 10 minutes ago. She would deny it. I said I will tape you someday and she brought up something I did 18 years ago before we were married. MY friends wife looks in the future when they fight and when he gets the arguement winning comment in she brings a made up senario she knows he will do and cries about it. And it's something he never did or ends up doing. I might write a book on my experiences in dating.
me 38 her 36
married 3/30/91 , separated 7/07, final divorce papers just signed 3/08
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SteveAustin, I come down really hard on women who suggest all men are controlling, abusive monsters who only want to bed anything in a skirt. I like both men and women. I refuse to base my opinions of on half of humanity based on a few individuals.
How would you react if a woman came on here and posted that she's noticed that most men have the emotional range of a slug in the sun, and that they are so driven by their need to be "right" that they turn any discussion into a debate which only ends when the women conceed that they were wrong, ill-informed, or misguided, and that the man was correct in all points? I imagine you'd think it was pretty harsh. This is a section of your first post turned on its head.
If you really believe most women watch soap operas and want their lives to be like it, it could be because of the type of women you are hanging out with. I can count on one hand the number of times in my life I've watched a daytime soap. I'm not sure if you count TV dramas like The Sopranos and The Tutors as a soap. So I won't go there. The women I know don't watch soaps. We work. We read. We keep a family running. We socialize. We travel. We have hobbies. So, maybe you need to start looking in other places.
Similarly, I don't resent men. I understand why men took political control when peoples moved from a hunter-gather society to an agrarian one, and I'm amazed at the women who broke through the barriers to wield power. I enjoy learning about Abigail Adams, but don't think she should be taught in schools at the expense of her husband. Once again, I'm not the only female who thinks this way. I know at least 36 other women who do, and I'm a bit of a home-body.
The emotional stuff, I have to agree with you on in very, very general terms. However, there are plenty of women who are less emotional. They tend to be older that 25, and I suggest you look for scientist or mathematicians or engineers. Please consider that women are much more fine-tuned to the nuances of relationships, and we are usually fascinated by them. I personally enjoy watching office politics because it's all about relationships.
In closing, you asked about my divorce. I'm very much to blame. First, I rushed into the marriage, ignoring every red flag that we were incompatible. Second, I needed something that my ex was unwilling or unable to give. To blame B for being unwilling or unable to clean up his business mess would be like blaming me for being unable to live with it and remain sane. I was also wrong in waiting so long to leave him. Interestingly enough, I think B thought I was dramatizing all those years when I asked him to go to MC with me, and when I told him I was unhappy. When he finally came up with an alternative plan to going to MC it was that I "stop obsessing" about the marriage and how unhappy I was. Greengable---Actually if a woman came on and said all them things I would not think it was harsh I would think she is generally right, however I would then tell her the reasons men can do that or be like that. I would give her the mans view and admit men can be like that. See perfect example. Lets see a woman admit that. Maybe to toher people but not her spouse. I have no problem at all admitting men can be that way alot of times. People need to quit putting on a show just to have people like them on the forums or in real life. With me at least what you see is what you get. It dont matter if you watched them or not. They are designed for women for a reason cant you see that? Does any other type of show drag something on like that? Not even reality tv can do that. They were not designed for men. Yes other places I should look probably also but these behaviors I notice not just in my life. If I am in a store and I see a couple fighting about the guy getting a tv. It's just a given women have these behaviors to certain degress. The question is can they admit it? Hey men didnt take political controlo back then they kept the women ALIVE and protected them from kidnapping. And women did a hell of a lot of work but men protected them natuarally and instinctually. And home life for women back then was boring and making food and clothes. The men got to do the exciting things like hunt, attack villages so I guess it was natural for the women to evolve wanting drama. Thank you. I got the answer I needed and you helped me figure it out. 36 women huh? Nowdays some woman have evolved to be dominant and they cant sit home anymore as much. The 46 year old woman I dated had to be the most emotional one of all. Whew. I do understand what you say about women but one thing I'll never figure out is why they put men in no win situations. You dont peek at the soaps 1 or 2 times a week? You admit alot about your relationship but your really not taking blame. Maybe he was all to blame that does happen and your words except for the business are the same my ex said about me. Man I need a cigarette after this one and I'm trying hard to quit.
me 38 her 36
married 3/30/91 , separated 7/07, final divorce papers just signed 3/08
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commited, hey people have to earn respect and she did not. and that wasnt my last date. It was the 3rd one last july. A year ago. And how could I tell her go back home.
No the gf I had I did everything for. I even packed her lunchs so she could eat better but she overdrammad me too much. That date you brought up was 3 weeks after the ex left I was rebounding and hurt. The girl stayed to 6pm the next day, and kept waking me. I had to pretend I was sleeping.
She didnt act respectful for a girl/stalker. Hey how many guys give girls a box of candy after going out to eat? She rolled the dice that she could get me to want a relationship her way even after I said I didnt and she was a grown woman. Some women I walk to their door and a kiss, one was so bad that I left in a store when she had to get cigarettes. She deserved it and I dont have hours to tell about that one. I know I'm horrable but she was bad. And irritated me bad, and embarassed me bad. I told her later in an email she was the worst date I ever had. And she knew not to write back. And if I acted like that I would expect the same.
me 38 her 36
married 3/30/91 , separated 7/07, final divorce papers just signed 3/08
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SA, actually I don't blame anyone for the demise of my marriage. It was inevitable. Plus, I've never liked the word blame, and I'm not sure I like the act/thought process it designates.
I still disagree with you that women were built for drama. I think the reason is the level of behavior which we feel warrants the word "drama." I put "drama" at a fairly high level.
Divorced.
2 Girls
Remarried 10/11/08
Widowed 11/5/08
Remarrying 12/17/15
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The girl stayed to 6pm the next day, and kept waking me. I had to pretend I was sleeping. ??? SA, do you see anything weird in this quote?
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commited, hey people have to earn respect and she did not. and that wasnt my last date. It was the 3rd one last july. A year ago. And how could I tell her go back home Earn? Did you "earn" respect with those actions? I don't think it is relevant about it happening a year ago. You said that you treat your dates with respect...and to ask them. I contend that you DID not treat her respectfully. Your comments about ALL the girls having drama issues places YOU in the middle. YOU are the only common denominator. I guess, I am saying that is hard to accept your complaining when you aren't exactly a gentleman in your own actions. committed
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[quote] YOU are the only common denominator. Yup, that was my point to SA on Page 1. AGG
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[quote=committedandlovi] YOU are the only common denominator. Yup, that was my point to SA on Page 1. AGG Ooops...my bad.  Didn't see that. Guess it can't hurt him to read it again..huh?  committed
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Guess it can't hurt him to read it again..huh? Yeah, agreed  . AGG
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Good point about SA being at the vortex of the drama. For example, leaving the date in a convenience store. That's my favorite story yet, and the one that leads me to suspect SA may be fabricating.
Divorced.
2 Girls
Remarried 10/11/08
Widowed 11/5/08
Remarrying 12/17/15
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Oops. Missed this. Hey men didnt take political controlo back then they kept the women ALIVE and protected them from kidnapping. And women did a [censored] of a lot of work but men protected them natuarally and instinctually. And home life for women back then was boring and making food and clothes. The men got to do the exciting things like hunt, attack villages so I guess it was natural for the women to evolve wanting drama. Thank you. I got the answer I needed and you helped me figure it out. I beg your pardon, but societies became patricarchal when they moved from hunter-gatherer to agraian. In other words, men have less power in nomadic hunter-gatherer societies. Once the societies start farming, and land ownership becomes an issue, men take on more control. This is also when a woman's chastity becomes more of an issue. Also, I doubt every much if a woman's life of gathering was boring. There was plenty of danger. As for the duties, making clothing was often a joint-venture for hunter-gatherers.
Last edited by Greengables; 08/07/08 12:46 PM.
Divorced.
2 Girls
Remarried 10/11/08
Widowed 11/5/08
Remarrying 12/17/15
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Why are you guys feeding this troll? He's clearly a 15 year old boy trying to live the fantasy of a grown up man with real issues.
(Why someone would fantasize about such a thing is question best left for his shrink.)
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Good point about SA being at the vortex of the drama. For example, leaving the date in a convenience store. That's my favorite story yet, and the one that leads me to suspect SA may be fabricating Fabricating....could be. You think he could really be the "Six Million Dollar Man"? :RollieEyes: committed
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This is the quote that makes my head spin: I would stop dating and putting energy into it but how to go without sex baffles me. How can you walk around with this attitude and still have respect for the opposite sex??!! He clearly doesn't know what the word "respect" means.
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Blame, fault, there are many words, Why was it inevitable? Were both of you trying on the relationship? I tried here and there but the trying it takes for a long term marriage I did not at all times. Especially the last few years when we were disrespecting each other very badly. And then when my mind was opened to counseling and my part of my behavior. Too late. And she thought she was in the total right until we wnet to counseling and she didnt like that she was at fault too or his opinions and never went back but claims she gave counseling a chance. She just wanted to come out of it smelling like a rose. She left. Tha's it.
Last night went to a party that someone from highschool was having I havent seen for 20 years and have a new prospect they introduced me to.
me 38 her 36
married 3/30/91 , separated 7/07, final divorce papers just signed 3/08
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Hey. She wore me down all night. By the end my brain wash mush. You were not there to see what I had to endure. Common denominator? OH I know. It me and not them at all. It me also that they are my age and never been married. I'm not perfect. However I am 100% never turned down on a second date. First dates before we meet I have been turned down sure. But anter the first date it me who decides if it goes farther. Except for the gf I had. We both decided. If I am the common denom inator I would not have almost every date tell me they cant be without me and cant take it. And what did I learn from dating to get less drama? Screen them better if you feel doubt about a person dont even meet them. The only common denominator was my poor choices. I told you I dont go by just me. I go by the world around me. What I see and here. If it makes you feel better to pin it on me. Yep its me then. also some firdt dates when i would meet the person namtter where for the first time. Some came right up ,huuged me , and shoved their tongue in my mouth just so the people they know could see, or people in general. If i did that it would be assault. commited, hey people have to earn respect and she did not. and that wasnt my last date. It was the 3rd one last july. A year ago. And how could I tell her go back home Earn? Did you "earn" respect with those actions? I don't think it is relevant about it happening a year ago. You said that you treat your dates with respect...and to ask them. I contend that you DID not treat her respectfully. Your comments about ALL the girls having drama issues places YOU in the middle. YOU are the only common denominator. I guess, I am saying that is hard to accept your complaining when you aren't exactly a gentleman in your own actions. committed
me 38 her 36
married 3/30/91 , separated 7/07, final divorce papers just signed 3/08
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Dont make me quote the many book a read. Your trying to split hair or something. Forget politacal or whatever control. From prehitoric times usually elders that were men did all the decision making for the people. Not just indians. Today do you know what happens in some asian or african, or middle eastern coutries if they dont agree with men. And that is today's world. Your arguement isnt even on the same subject of anything. Your grasping for points just to argue with me. Do you ever see the cartoons when a caveman clubs a girl on the head then she is his wife. That was true. Remeber how the vikings got their wives. Or when Rome was founded how they got their woman? If you think that that is equal power to men and are going to argue points that dont exsist I wont argue. And the girl I left in the store 3 of her african american friends were planning to rob me and I heard them tell her that on the way in. I should of know by location alone not to go. She was loud rude, groped my privates in public and wanted me to buy everything from drinks, to cigarettes to breakfats later and she was embarassing. She had a cell phone and a friend a block away. If you still think I'm wrong I laugh at you. Oops. Missed this. Hey men didnt take political controlo back then they kept the women ALIVE and protected them from kidnapping. And women did a [censored] of a lot of work but men protected them natuarally and instinctually. And home life for women back then was boring and making food and clothes. The men got to do the exciting things like hunt, attack villages so I guess it was natural for the women to evolve wanting drama. Thank you. I got the answer I needed and you helped me figure it out. I beg your pardon, but societies became patricarchal when they moved from hunter-gatherer to agraian. In other words, men have less power in nomadic hunter-gatherer societies. Once the societies start farming, and land ownership becomes an issue, men take on more control. This is also when a woman's chastity becomes more of an issue. Also, I doubt every much if a woman's life of gathering was boring. There was plenty of danger. As for the duties, making clothing was often a joint-venture for hunter-gatherers.
me 38 her 36
married 3/30/91 , separated 7/07, final divorce papers just signed 3/08
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lol. no i'm an honest man that is not going to roll over and let women say how bad men are and constintly be victoms. Dont like my post and opinion because I say the truth and dont take many games from women anymore. Dont read them. Dont write back. I know guys on here agree or I am opening their eyes. however they feel like they dont want to rub anyone the wrong way or kiss but to try to make online friends or be popular on the boards. In the future guys will read this and leard to recognize these issues. Then the subject can be addressed. Tabby have you ever heard of consenting adults? Oh ya. The guys only do that. Women dont sleep around unless a guy forses them. Tabby I get the feeling from that one comment that you dont do well with the oposite sex. Whoever said I am fabricating I wish I was. If it's that hard to believe I must have an exiting life. Seriously I havent touched the tip of the iceburg on subject and would have to write a book to tell all. Look me up on the dating sites. Come go out with me. Then you can speculate If I lied about anything. I make good points and I'm a troll and a liar. Whoever thinks that is sad. People like that make the world corrupt. Why are you guys feeding this troll? He's clearly a 15 year old boy trying to live the fantasy of a grown up man with real issues.
(Why someone would fantasize about such a thing is question best left for his shrink.)
me 38 her 36
married 3/30/91 , separated 7/07, final divorce papers just signed 3/08
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Where are you meeting these girls?
Do you use drugs and/or alcohol? Do they?
How long did your longest relationship last?
How long have you been at your current job? Do you like it?
Are you here looking for some kind of help? If so, what is it that you would like to see changed in your life?
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