True.. but for him to say that at all.. and in front of all those people..


Of course.. what he DIDN'T say.. which would have clenched the whole deal for me was.


The biggest mistake I ever made in my life was thinking that anyone could take Bugsy's place in my life..

THAT admission in the presence of friends would be proof positive..

Still.. it's a bit much to put on the expectations list... for a WH still in withdrawl at least.

Baby steps and breadcrumbs Bugsy

I am sitting in the meeting right now. Friends have commented and I have even noticed him looking at/ watching me.

I am trying to be the cool calm Goddess. Lord, give me strength.

By the end of tomorrow I am going to collapse from exhaustion!

I can almost feel the under current.

Oh bugsy!!!

Wow. That was brave of you! And I think you made it "safe" for him to share those same things. You are truly the MB Goddess!

Keep us updated!

OH MY GOODNESS!!


WONDERFUL!! He didn't HAVE to say this...and he had that specific, DETAIlED MEMORY ...WOW!!


ALSO A GREAT SIGN!! I HOPE HE THREW UP AND MORE!!

You are MOST DEFINITELY being WATCHED..

Play it up, girlfriend..

You know what to do...

LOOK BUT DON'T TOUCH... ...POOR GUY...

Bugs,

Please give us more updates. I'm going to be sick too due to the suspense of it all.

Please hurry!!!!

Oh, and this guy - - he's just constipated. They taught this move in a yoga class that I attended once. About 20 of these and you're good to go.

Maybe you should ask Believer if you can borrow her shoes.

Oh my, I don't know if I could walk in Believer's shoes.

You guys don't know, Bugsy...

She's most definitely wearing HEELS...

AND..she's got SHORT SKIRTS which are COORDINATED with the color of her SHOES...

OK...she's got "OUTFITS"..that she picked out DAYS AGO...or even WEEKS ago...

Hey all!

Well, I survived the evening. And yes, I was wearing heels. Yesterday was nice short(not too short) skirt outfit, last night jeans/w fitting top & heels. today dress/heels

Short version, as I have lots of work to do. Dinner - - I did my thing & saw him watching. I spoke to the woman that was just hired here that used to work with Drac & the Ho at the other company. He stopped as he was walking by us - - I just pushed him on his way with a smile. I am sure he really wanted to know what we were talking about (I saw him leaning over her talking later & have a feeling he was hearing what I had to say - Although he was trying hard to make it look like they were pretty intimate ).

I simply told the woman that what went on at the other work place was WRONG - - that I know she knew all about it and that I know that everyone knew about it. Her comment was that she 'tried to stay out of it". I gave her the look that said "BULLSHITE" and told her pretty mcuh the same thing. I said, that people make mistakes and can be given second chances if they PROVE themselves. I offered my 'professional' assistance to her and told her that she would have to 'earn' it as well. Short story - I took the high road.

Drac sat behind me at the comedy club. I did see him kind of 'hanging' a bit on one of the new sales reps. It looked a bit to me like he was 'trying hard' to look like he was having fun. We didn't really interact, and I was glad I didn't have to watch him. When it was time to leave the comedy club, the group split up and went different places. I don't know where he went or who he went with. I did not see him or hear from him the rest of the night.

I was in my room by 11. Alone. I had fun, but wasn't going to over do it with a presentation to do today in front of my boss!

Speaking of which, I have to go get ready!

Will ck back later.

Bugsy.. you are AWESOME..

Drac is really trying to get you to act jealous.. he's trying to push your buttons now that you're opening up to him.

Honestly.. and I'm no expert here... follow Mimi's lead on it.. but my inclination?

Totally ignore him.. go dark as you can again.

HE hasn't defogged enough to know that this sort of behavior is the stuff that HURT you.

He said the words on the phone.. but he's not walking the talk.

He's going to have to take another.. appropriate tactic if he hopes to get a rise out of Bugsy..

Someone needs to kick him inna nuts.

:twobyfour:

I stand in AWE with your ability to handle this situation!!

Bugsy:

I was REALLY expecting Drac to show at the door to "talk"

And then you two would have had a "face to Face" like your phone conversation last week.

Yes, Drac admitted to certain things in front of the crowd.

We all want the Hollywood ending, where the bad guy admits all. Or like in "Mr. Smith goes to Washington", the bad guy commits suicide. But this ain't Hollywood. We do NOT have two hours to resolve things. They just keep going and going.

Stupid "team building" exercises.

Still in Drac's court. Let him serve.

LG

I completely agree with James.

And LG.

The words he spoke were good, but the actions didn't follow them up. They have to learn that the actions have to be taken.

IMHO, darkness when you can and 180 when you have to be around him. Unless he comes to you and shows you actions, you are still moving on - not waiting in the wings for him to figure out if he wants you or not.

This is your decision, too.

Fox

Most if not all of us were HOPING for this...

BUT I think it will take much more TIME for him to ask for the TALK...

This is kinda a SHAMING EXPERIENCE for him...

I would think he's trying to hold it together just to make it through the weekend...

Who REALLY knows but this takes TIME...

And DRAC has made it CLEAR that he wants to do this PRIVATELY...

I RESPECT(??) him for that...

BUGSY..keep playing the MOUSE..

I have to say that I was Really hoping for that too!! I think had I gone with the same 'group' that he went with after the comedy club, it may have been more likely. But, I don't think it was 'right' timing. Drinks and a hotel room,,,,,,,we're not there yet. The 'talk' needs to happen first.

It is going to take more time. I think he's still out there trying to 'decide' if he thinks I am OPEN to him and if there is a real CHANGE in me that things would be different and BETTER this go around. He's insecure and unsure right now.

I am still playing the mouse,,,,,but I think he needs a few more positive views of my swishy mouse tail to keep his attention and entice him to pursue. These 2 days may or may not be enough.

Time will tell. I hope you are right, Mimi, in that he's taking this seriously and wanting to do something 'privately'.

I got on the elevator to go down to the meeting and guess who was on it? Yep. Drac. And the former co-worker girl from the other company. Seems she had way too much to drink last night and ended up staying over. From the conversation, I am sure she did not stay in his room (which was quite a relief). I said nothing more than good morning to them both.

I heard him talk about getting back to his room & sitting down at the desk, so I am thinking he was alone - - not positive, but fairly sure. He wouldn't have said anything about it if that were not the case.

He did make a point to ask me if I talked to Ladybug last night - - just a way to engage in some conversation I think. I answered, but didn't take the conversation beyond that.

So, I have a quick report to file and need to get back to the meeting.

Thanks for the support everyone. I am EXHAUSTED!!!!

BTW- - I am sitting where my view to the presentations/presenters has Drac in my direct view. It's good and bad to be seeing him this much. I wish the view was reversed! He got to see in me in my presentation that went well = = but he did do some computer work while I was talking, too.

Gotta run,,,,,,,

ANYONE reading here - PLEASE go to MogiSola's thread, she is formally Hicktownmommy - URGENT!!

She needs all of our help - I am not enough!

Fox

Bugs, Mimi took my words. I stand in awe. You are doing great, and I am really proud of you. Good things are happening, but, like most things, they may take longer than we want them to. Keep it slow.

And remember to breathe.

Not to put any pressure on you, Bugs...

...but some of us are 'glued' to your thread..

SD says,


ditto for me!

Hey all! Sorry, Fox, I wasn't available to help out today, but looks like she has gotten the attention & support she needed.

As for me, I am exhausted. I figured out I had only eaten a sandwich and a few chicken wings in the last 2 days. DUH! No wonder I can barely stand up!

Well, the meeting wrapped up. Drac waited for an opportunity to come up to me to talk about when I'd be picking up DSS today (he needed to have him come home from a friend's house for me to pick him up today), and he talked about DSS's football practice (where he would pick him up tomorrow). He stood Close AND looked me right in the eyes (he has beautiful blue eyes by the way). He hasn't looked in my eyes in a long, long time. I wonder if it effected him the way it effected ME?

Anyway, I was light & breezy. Answered his questions, he told me to give his girl a kiss, and I went on my way.

Later, I was on the way to pick up DSS and called the house to make sure he was there. He wasn't yet, so I called Drac (I didn't have the friend's home # and DSS didn't have his phone). Drac sounded horrible when he answered the phone, so I asked if he was ok. He hesitated, but said yes, he was ok. I could tell he wasn't so I pressed a bit, asking "what's wrong". He replied 'just work'.

I heard during the meetings a bit more about the challenges he is facing, so I am sure he was having a hard day. He talked about it briefly, but didn't go into a lot of detail. I moved on to ask about DSS and if he'd called him yet to go home. He asked if I was on my way to get him, I said yes, I was just too emotionally exhausted to get any work done. He replied, "I am sure you are." He said it kindly and with that tone of understanding because he feels the same (though he didn't actually SAY that). I know he was busy w/work, but he didn't rush to get off the phone. The conversation ended,,,,but it was obvious that he wasn't really ready to end it but he just couldn't think of anything to say to extend it further.

I picked up DSS and asked him about bringing clothes for football practice (shorts/tshirt are to be bought from school for this) and cleats. He said he didn't know if Drac had gotten the stuff yet,,,,,so a quick call to Drac to ask. No, he hasn't gotten the stuff yet. I WANTED very much to say that I could take care of it, but I didn't. I really really debated about it, but I think it's a good thing for him to have to take care of doing it himself. (Not Mommy). For now. Later he may earn some of that kind of support,,,,,,,,,,

So, got the kids, DSS mowed the yard, I did some weeding. We went to the bank, got some carryout, and I am really physically and emotionally tapped out. I have been ready to crawl into bed for the last 3 hours. I think I will as soon as the kids talk to him for the night.

I hope to be in better shape in the morning. I'm even too exhausted to THINK about what transpired the last 2 days!
As Scarlet would say, "I'll think about that tomorrow".

Nite all (and thanks!)