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the mods are doing a good job filtering out the BA posts. I would assume they would have picked up on this already.

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Originally Posted by medc
Originally Posted by Dancing_Machine
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You obviously have issues with men. I think you should seek help to deal with them.

rotflmao


Yeah, I DO have issues with abusive men.

Charlotte


This quote speaks to problems with men...not just abusive men. Certainly having issue with abusers is understandable..and in fact commendable. I was only going by the words you wrote.

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As far as men go:

I avoid MEN, period, at this point. Not because I am worried about abuse but because men...not ALL men, maybe not even MOST men...but plenty of men just want sex and that's all they think about. That is the ONLY issue I have with men.

I didn't mean to sound harsh about it. I am not talking about ALL men here. I know a lot of very good men and a few of them are very dear friends. I have just been having a lot of trouble when I go out in public, hence the "shark" comparison in another post. I guess I was just away from society for too long in self-imposed exile with WH and I didn't remember how it is out there.

Charlotte

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Originally Posted by believer
Oh, its probably just BA again. Isn't he the one who picks a one word name with a number?

If this is a genuine post, we probably do need more info, maybe from the wife. However, the fact that she cannot have any friends, has finally been "allowed" to work, and his tone gets scary and angry are red flags to me.

Yeah, I was wondering about the BA thing, too.

ITA about that husband, that's for sure.

Charlotte

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Originally Posted by keepitreal
I'd be willing to bet it's BA who clearly has no life of his/her own, and loves making posts about "friends" problems to stir MBers into squabbling with each other. Any post started by BA would be best ignored.

If there is indeed a case of abuse going on (doubtful) why wouldn't "Harmony" have enough sense to direct the "friend" to immediate help rather than come to a discussion forum?

BA obviously has such a disdain for marriage, that wasting time that COULD be spent helping marriages of real people, is a source of sick jollies.

Too true.

Charlotte

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Originally Posted by Dancing_Machine
Originally Posted by keepitreal
I'd be willing to bet it's BA who clearly has no life of his/her own, and loves making posts about "friends" problems to stir MBers into squabbling with each other. Any post started by BA would be best ignored.

If there is indeed a case of abuse going on (doubtful) why wouldn't "Harmony" have enough sense to direct the "friend" to immediate help rather than come to a discussion forum?

BA obviously has such a disdain for marriage, that wasting time that COULD be spent helping marriages of real people, is a source of sick jollies.

Too true.

Charlotte

Speaking of BA, does anybody else get emails from him?


Widowed 11/10/12 after 35 years of marriage
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In a sense now, I am homeless. For the home, the place of refuge, solitude, love-where my husband lived-no longer exists. Joyce Carolyn Oates, A Widow's Story
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Originally Posted by believer
If this is a genuine post, we probably do need more info, maybe from the wife. However, the fact that she cannot have any friends, has finally been "allowed" to work, and his tone gets scary and angry are red flags to me.

Unfortunatley, the posters here have already condemned the H as an "abusive controller" with no evidence to support any such accusation.

What is a red flag to me is a woman who purposely aggravates her husband by trash talking him behind his back and putting her "friendship" before her marriage.

And unless these people live in some foreign country, women do not NEED the permission of their husbands to get a job so that is a silly complaint. It makes no sense.

And my "tone" would be DAMN ANGRY if my H was trash talking me to some silly friend that disrespected my marriage and me.

My concern is how eager women are to condemn men as "abusive" and "controlling" with absolutely no basis in fact. That is a gross injustice and I feel sorry that men have to tolerate that ABUSE. frown


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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We have no reason to believe at this time that Harmony08 is the poster known as BestAdvisor. Please stop with the speculation on the open forums. If you feel that there is something that we should know about, PLEASE use the notify moderator button. That is the way that you can best help us do OUR jobs.

Thank you.

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Originally Posted by MelodyLane
Unfortunatley, the posters here have already condemned the H as an "abusive controller" with no evidence to support any such accusation.

What is a red flag to me is a woman who purposely aggravates her husband by trash talking him behind his back and putting her "friendship" before her marriage.

And unless these people live in some foreign country, women do not NEED the permission of their husbands to get a job so that is a silly complaint. It makes no sense.

And my "tone" would be DAMN ANGRY if my H was trash talking me to some silly friend that disrespected my marriage and me.

My concern is how eager women are to condemn men as "abusive" and "controlling" with absolutely no basis in fact. That is a gross injustice and I feel sorry that men have to tolerate that ABUSE. frown

Mel

Funnily enough, I do side with you on the matter of interference in a relationship.

And curiously, I do not necessarily link "control" and "abuse" in the same sentence. I contend that some people may even feel "safe" in a controlled environment.

I especially agree that spouses SHOULD be best friends. Nevertheless there may well be cracks in their relationship that would benefit from MB plastering (obviously with their permission)

This is why I recommended getting details direct from the "horses mouth".

And I guess you know already that I'm not trying to be contentious.


But I, being poor, have only my dreams; I have spread my dreams under your feet; Tread softly because you tread on my dreams -Yeats
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I feel sorry that men have to tolerate that ABUSE. \:\(

Aw, poor men! Boo-hoo!

You had a different view of this situation than me and some others here. That's fine. No one knows the real story. What I read reminded me smack dab of that ex-bf. What you read reminds you of something else. Okay then.

We'll probably never know the real story. Doesn't look like "Harmony" is coming back.

Charlotte

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Aw, poor men! Boo-hoo!

nah, you don't have any issues with men...not a one.

thankfully some people are concerned about abuse no matter the gender of the players.

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Charlotte, you have every reason to be cautious. I, too, have experienced some of the "come on, baby"s. sick

No, it is not all men and I know you recognize that - but you are well within your right to protect yourself from the ones that ARE like that and to be on the lookout for them.

I don't think you have issues with men at all. I think you are healing and reacting from your own experiences. Each and every one of us do that.

Carry on.

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