I have read evertything you have written. I just must be the most "naive" or unwilling to really hear.

All I keep coming back to is that it's time to divorce him. Is that what you are saying?

I'm not asking you to make the decision, I'm asking you to get to the bottom line for me. Because I have moved on, I have built a life without him. I don't make decisions based on what he would think. I take care of myself, my children.

Honestly, all that is keeping me from divorcing him is that we haven't hit the statistics, 2 years since D-day, or 2 years in Plan B.

I'm walking down to the fake and bake place and you can bet my heart is asking G-d what he wants for me.

I just need that little obvious push because I'm fighting it... so hard...

Then I say carry on. As long as you have a goal, a plan, and are not just waiting for SOMETHING to prompt you to make a decision, then that's a-okay. Sounds like you know what you want. That's good, Queenie.

Friend;
I was just asking you if in case you had mistaken for angie1 cuz you replied to her the following:


Obviously it's not me!!!!
I guess I am kinda curious....but now I am confused that you are confused

A.

Queenie, I agree strongly with this statement.

You should be crowned the Plan B Queen(ie). You have remained steadfast throughout. If you want to wait for the 2-year mark, no one can fault you for that. I believe it would take nothing short of a miracle for your WH to turn around. Let it be known however, that I personally believe in miracles.

The question is, even if he did, and he came back on hands and knees, repentent before you, your children and God, are you at a place where you could truly forgive and do the hard work necessary for recovery? I've been in that place and saying it's not easy is an understatement.

Whatever you do, I don't want to see you do anything that would jeopardize the relationship with G-d that you've developed and the stronger relationship that you've developed with your children through all of this.

:happyhanukkah:


Just passing through and wanted to wish you that.

Queenie,

If two years is your plan, then stick with it if you can. Mine was one year, and at the one year mark I filed. If I thought that I could do two years, I would, but I don't know what purpose it would serve. As much as I don't want to be D'd, I don't think I have what it takes to R after all he has done. I know that he doesn't have what it takes.

You have what it takes, but would your WH be willing to step up to the plate? I'm not sure. Don't know him well enough. You do, what do you think?

Hi Queenie,


You are working a 'plan', one that is suggested as a healthy one to adopt....to allow time for BS to evaluate and improve (self-recovery) before considering moving on to M recovery or new R....but any plan can be reviewed and revised.

...what I can suggest, Queenie, is that any change of plan considered today should withstand the 'test of time' (it sounds good today...will it sound good tomorrow?)....to make sure it's not as a 'reaction' to anything...also, is the 'mind and heart in sync' about new course of action contemplated?

QUEENIE

I had to step away from here and really read what you are saying to me. I'm truly feel like I have moved on and so flippin far ahead of where I was last year at this time.

Last year I just wanted to be dead. Nothing else..

So, while my path might not be as fast as it should be, it is moving forward, with set backs, but NOT nearly like before and the recovery is nano second. I'm happy with my progress and I'm listening.

I like your idea of test of time.... But like I have learned. I don't need to decide today.

What's more on my heart than anything else right now is to wish all of you who celebrate Christmas a VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS, one full of love, splendor, spirit and joy.

You all have touched my life beyond explanation and it's a day like tomorrow or the time of year where my gratitude is not measurable and my heart and prayers are full of happiness, prosperity and joy in your lives.

Thank you for being in my life and letting me walk with you in your journey. :MerryChristmas:

Queenie,

I wish you the best for 2009. I know it will be an even better year for you. It has to be. And yes, you have come so far this past year. I do see it.

I was talking to a lady today who went through this 7 years ago. She was M 34 years when her H left and M an OW who was 20 years younger. She said it took her over two years to finally get to a point where she started to let it go. It just takes some longer than others. Remember, we'll get there in our own time.

Let's try to talk soon.....

Queenie,
As you grow with God, you will know what is right for YOU. I think you are doing an amazing job working on YOU.
The lesson that I am realizing more clearly everyday is that for too long the givers of this world give all of themselves and don't realize the toll it takes on their bodies and their souls.

I too had to step back and recover me. I think that describes you also.

Live your life for you and all will be fine.

Merry Christmas, and thanks for caring for all of us.

:happyhanukkah:

Hi Kick,

Merry Christmas to you. Are you doing ok tonight?

the hardest lesson was HOW to live that life, but G-d is teaching me LIKE YOU...

I do care, in fact I would do ANYTHING I could to help someone on here if I could. This place saved my life... .literally.

Last year, TMTS stayed with me all night and we helped each other through the worst parts. I will NEVER forget that night how he helped me and didn't abandon me. How he let me help him and feel like someone useful and worthwhile. I love you TMTS... Merry Christmas to you and I'm so glad your family is reunited.

Kick, I'm here if you NEED anything...

Chai, how are YOU doing? do you want to talk now?

Queenie,
Had a beautiful evening at my daughter's home. She opened up her home to the whole family and DS12 and I had a great time!
I made a very large pot of chili (DD request) and it was the hit of the night.

Personal recovery spills over to your family and everyone seemed to be astonished by my demeanor tonight. I am discovering happiness that God places in our hearts if we just ask Him to.

Thanks for asking, I am fine!!

Likewise, if you need anything, just ask.....K?

Yes, do you still have my number??

K..

Do I see that you have a birthday coming up in 4 Days?

If so, happy early birthday....

Isn't it amazing how much people notice the difference and peace in ourselves and actually souls.

Constantly I hear that... Now the weight... UGH... but the soul is so at peace....

The chili sounds awesome. I'm into capitalizing financially for us BS's... I'm all about figuring out how to get us all on a cruise where we finally meet, hug and laugh at our lives.

What do ya think... BS's cookbook? I need a little help in the designing, but what if.... we put together a BS survival book that included recipes, nifty dit bits, etc?

Anyone else care to explore this?

Hi Queenie!!

I know you celebrate Hanukkah(sorry if it's not spelled correctly) but I wanted to wish you a Merry Christmas.
You are in my mind and in my prayers tonight.

((((Hugs))))

Angie

Queenie,

Can you talk?

Merry Christmas to you Angie...

First you are right, I really screwed up or got confused with that "other" angie. I looked at the angie1 too fast. I hope you can forgive me for my oversight.

You nailed me but good girl, thank you.

I'm thinking about you and praying for you to have the best Christmas EVER.... You are one special person who G-d loves so much.

Hugs to you my friend..... Be good to yourself.

:MerryChristmas:

Awsone idea!!!

Love to cook and have tons of good ol' southern cooking fun I could share, mam!! lol

The cruise idea would be a great time to share all the BS...BS.
With all the stories and especially the creative ideas we seem to have....New York Times Bestseller!!

Yes, 48 on the 29th. Just gettin' started!!

Ohh no problem, I just though it was funny tho. Just to think about what that other angie thought of your post.....LMAO.
I will for sure have the best Christmas ever....this is different....I am celebrating our Lord's birth, and it is up to me to focus on the blessings and everything he has given me or to focus on the things I do not have.
I rather focus on what I have!!! I have my children, my family, my friends, and now a new friend and that would be you!!! thank you for making me feel special...
But most importantly I have HIM!!!
LOL

I love you my friend.

Angie.