Please take the porn discussion to another thread.

Finding that box just reminded me again of all the fun we'll never get to have, and how I was really just getting to know him. I loved and trusted him much, but 3 years is a drop in the bucket. This stinks. I'm so jealous of old couples.

Well, you are getting some surprises about hubby. Most likely he was waiting to share these with you later on.

Reminds me to look around my home and discard anything that might shock my survivors.

Hello,
Just posting so you know that we are thinking of you and the girls.
It's a beautiful sunny day in our area today so I hope it is for you too.
Remember the small joys of life.

Hope you will check in soon. Missing you.

I'm so mad, I'm not speaking to Mike and I'm thinking of leaving him.

It could be that had he gone to the doctor's he'd be alive. I'm just furious. I've never be so angry at him before.

You just might be right! Or, maybe not.

Anne, I don't know if going would have changed anything but I think it's certain he hadn't planned on leaving you so soon.

Are you OK?

I'm okay. Kinda, sorta. I'm just so mad. I'm requesting the full coroner's report, but the verdict was Hypertensive Cardiomyopathy. In other words, if the verdict is correct, Mike had undiagnosed, untreated hypertension. If he had gone to the doctor, he could have been treated. Maybe it would have saved him, maybe not. But, I tried to get him to the doctor just for a "baseline." He didn't want me to nag him. I'm so angry. I've never been this angry at Mike. Ever. I'm going out for dinner with former co-workers tonight. I'm wearing red shoes. I haven't worn anything but muted colors since Mike died. I'm just so mad at him.

Wow, I can sure relate to your feelings. Part of loving someone is taking good care of oneself. And MEN (sorry guys) especially, often want to stay strong and silent, not complain and not go for physical checkups.

My sons' dad had heart disease when he was only 36 and refused to be checked by a doctor. Then when I finally insisted he go, he was already in the midst of a heart attack. And afterwards, he still refused to follow the doctor's advice. It was maddening.

On the other hand, I'm glad that you at least found out the cause. That will give you some peace of mind later.

Yes, go out and wear your red shoes.

And I'm sorry that Mike was being a typical man..............

I have a red shoe 'thing'....LOVE red shoes. :crosseyedcrazy:

Do have a good time. OK? And remember that anger is part of the grieving process.

But, the world always looks better when you have on red shoes.

To the funeral of the man who should have been my stepfather, I wore my black dress and black hose....and a burgundy boiled wool jacket and my burgundy velvet shoes with burgundy organza flowers. He would have loved it.

Get more red shoes if they help!

Well, I guess she is still out in her red shoes...........

Hi GG, just wanted to stop by and say HI! I hope you and your girls are well.

I'll give you an update on my life. I've just finished my last academic semester and that thrills me. I student teach in the spring then I'm employable as an art teacher K-12. I've considered getting a master's now but after this last semester I honestly don't think I could manage it plus I need to make some money. Of course, this economy may make the choice for me. Being in school during a recession is not a bad place to be. What I'd love to do is go for a MFA but the time commitment, both for production and time for creative thought, is the part I don't think I can manage with my boys. That's what this semester has shown me. Who knows, I may be a more attractive candidate without a master's because having one cost a school system more and they prefer cheaper employees.

I'm still teaching pottery one day a week to adults and to elementary school kids as part of an enrichment program at a magnet school near me. I love teaching adults and thought that if I don't get a teaching job I may check out the senior living facilities in my area for potential classes.

I think about you and your girls often. Keep each other warm and safe and spread the love.

Man GG, I sure understand your anger. Being in the medical profession, it boggles the mind how people do not take care of themselves. That being said, there are no guarantees love. None. I've seen people diagnosed w/ terminal illnesses or die sudden deaths, who did go to the dr, who lived well, did everything right, took care of their temples, etc.

But I understand your frustration. You have an answer, now the shoulda coulda wouldas enter the picture. I'm so sorry.

((((Hugs))))

Please know that I am thinking of and praying for you.

Thanks, everyone.

The weather prevented me from wearing the red shoes. I had to wear boots. However, I had a nice time. No, I had a great time on Tuesday.

DW, thanks for the reminder. I also had the thought that by the time Mike met me, the damage was probably already done. If the stuff I read on the internet is reasonably correct, Mike would not have liked the treatment options available, which seem to focus on avoiding stress.

Nams, congratulations. I'm so happy you are done the academic stuff. MFA sounds good but is a huge committment when you have the boys.

Cinderella and Believer, thanks for constantly checking in on me. I truly appreciate it.

Hope you are doing as well, considering all that is happening. The holidays will be hard, but stay strong for your girls. Enjoy being together.

This is kind of a sad Christmas for many - people are losing their homes, their jobs, and generally there is not a lot of hope in the country.

My prayers and thoughts are with you and your girls.

Anne, sending more prayers for you these days.

Thanks so much, Cinderella! Merry Christmas.

I appreciate that. I really do hope you have a good holiday. I know you would like to make some changes in it but.....that's not really possible. So, enjoy your girls. Call some friends or family.





I know I will be spending most of the day alone because my children will be going to their dad's. I'd love to have them here for some popcorn and Christmas movies but that's not possible.

The dog and I have been invited to make a road trip to see another MBer 4 hours from my home. Sounds like it might be the perfect antidote to an evening alone.