Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum

This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our guidance forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at mbrestored@gmail.com
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
#2194872 01/17/09 09:52 AM
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 17
S
Junior Member
OP Offline
Junior Member
S
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 17
What is a merit hearing?

Also, at the alimony hearing my stbxwh was ordered by the master to pay me a large amount of money each month toward our mortgage...leaving me to pay a very small fraction.

So, I'm supposed to pay the mortgage with the money he gives me each month. However, my stbxwh is not giving me the money because he wants to pay the mortgage himself (doesn't trust that I'll pay the mortgage with this money crazy).

My lawyer thinks this is fine as long as I have it in writing that he is doing that. So, my question is do I pay my stbxwh the $300 that I owe or do I let him pay the whole thing?

Will this be an issue at the merit hearing? I want to contribute $300 so I'm doing my part. I haven't heard back from my attorney regarding what I should do about the $300.

If it won't be an issue whether I pay him the $300 or not, I'd like to save that money so I can have something in my savings when the divorce is final.

I'd like to get some feedback/advice/hear others' experiences...

Any feedback/ advice is appreciated.

Sweet

Joined: Jun 2002
Posts: 1,717
B
Member
Offline
Member
B
Joined: Jun 2002
Posts: 1,717
Quote
at the alimony hearing my stbxwh was ordered by the master to pay me a large amount of money each month toward our mortgage...leaving me to pay a very small fraction.

So, I'm supposed to pay the mortgage with the money he gives me each month. However,.......

Ya know, they write up these stipulations for a reason. Stick to them. If he's not complying with the order then he can be held in contempt.

He is ordered to pay you X amount of dollars. What you do with it is not his business. You would be wise to use it to pay the mortgage or risk losing the house.

I have no idea what a merit trial is. I believe a merit hearing is to determine whether there is enough evidence to warrant a trial.


ba109
ba109 #2195352 01/18/09 01:28 PM
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 17
S
Junior Member
OP Offline
Junior Member
S
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 17
Thanks for your reply. Yes, not doing what the master ordered is a bad idea. I really need to get this straightened out.

Also, I don't think I should've called it a merit trial. It is a hearing, and I'm hoping it doesn't go beyond that.

What is discussed at a merit hearing? I'm suing for lawyer fees, but that's it. So what else could be discussed?

My stomach turns at the thought of going on the stand again, having to defend myself against my stbex's attorney. He's mean. I know I should expect that, but I'm not the one who cheated. I'm not the one who killed my marriage. I just didn't expect to have to defend myself.

So, any advice on what I can expect at the merit hearing is appreciated. Thanks so much ba109.

Joined: Jun 2002
Posts: 1,717
B
Member
Offline
Member
B
Joined: Jun 2002
Posts: 1,717
I'm sure your attorney can prep you for the hearing. I suspect you will be asked to show just cause for being rewarded attorney fees.

For example
-you are the respondent rather than the petitioner in the divorce
-you are a stay at home mother or homemaker
-you are unemployed
-WH squandered joint savings or shared earnings on his affair leaving you with little or no financial security
-you attempted marriage counseling or coaching but your WH rejected attempts to restore the marriage

You are suing for a monitary reward. You will have to show justification.


ba109

Link Copied to Clipboard
Forum Search
Who's Online Now
0 members (), 1,352 guests, and 57 robots.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Newest Members
Mike69, petercgeelan, Zorya, Reyna98, Nofoguy
71,829 Registered Users
Building Marriages That Last A Lifetime
Copyright © 1995-2019, Marriage Builders®. All Rights Reserved.
Site Navigation
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5