Thanks for the clarification on NC. We live on another continent from the OW, so I didn’t think NC would be such a big problem to overcome. But technology nowadays makes it so easy for them to keep in touch even if they are not communicating with each other directly.
So what do I do? Continue Plan A so that he stops on his own? Or should I ask him to stop? The way I found out is that he admitted it to me. In his own words, he said that he feels like he’s addicted to her. When I asked what satisfaction he achieved from visiting her myspace page and reading her blogs especially when he knows how much it hurts me, he said that he gets nothing out of the act. It just reconfirms that he doesn’t want to be with her. Wishful thinking . . . it would be nice if he would say that is makes him realize how I’m clearly the better choice.
So my initial reaction was to just continue Plan A until he decides to stop (I’m going to add a keylogger program next week just to be sure). Also, I’ve been sending him emails daily expressing (sincerely) my feelings of appreciation, admiration, and adoration about our time together. So I suggested to him that when he has an urge to view her myspace page, he could re-read the emails that I’ve sent to him so that he could get that feeling of affection that he’s looking for from her.
But like you guys pointed out, it hurts like crazy knowing that he keeps doing it. The day after he told me, I went to her page and the content was so stupid. Additionally, she posted information in her blogs that was intentionally meant to hurt him and make him jealous (but it just makes her seem whorish and unclassy). I just don’t understand how he can be so in love with someone so immature and spiteful.
And I’m angry. I’m angry that while I’m at work tired from staying out all night trying to make sure he has fun to help him through his withdrawal, he’s at home pining over this idiot using the internet service that I’m paying for. He’s told me that the main needs that she fulfilled that I didn’t were admiration, affection, recreational enjoyment, and SF. I am meeting all his needs now (plus one that she could not fulfill which was financial security). She physically cannot meet any of his needs now because we are on another continent, so why does he keep holding up our recovery to read her idiotic dribble!
I was thinking about emailing her and asking her to make her page private so that he can’t view it anymore. I know that she has no reason to help me, but I figured that it wouldn’t hurt to try. Would that be too extreme?
Thanks again for the clarification.