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Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 81
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Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 81 |
Got her apartment on the 1st (moving out bag and baggage) but has only spent 3 nights there to date. NC is being promised. I believe it is true, but have no guaranteed proof. Behavior towards me has slight improvements these last 4 weeks (since NC). She has full access to kids and home and spends most nights here.
Still says "Need to think out if I should return to a marriage that I might never be happy in, or should I put my happiness first and decide on a D." Has asked for 6 ore weeks to decide.
We've gone for 2 long MC sessions so far. And one telephone session with Jennifer.
Not sure what to think at this time.
Each day passes painfully slow, and is filled with thoughts that maybe NC is BS and I'm being taken for a ride again.
Any suggestions? Ideas? Help? Thanks!
Me: 42
WW: 41
Married: 16 years
Known each other: 21 years
S12 D10.5
A Started: Nov 8, 2008
First Discovery: Dec 26th ("Just a Friend" excuse)
Big D-day: Jan 10th (Recorded evidence of full-blown A)
WW Moved out: Feb 1st, 2009.
Plan B started: Feb 13th, 2009.
D Papers served on me by WW: Feb 17th, 2009.
Plan B currently blown, A continues!
WW moved back into home: Feb 23rd, 2009.
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Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 862
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Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 862 |
I would strongly recomment that you go to Plan B immediately! You are allowing her to manipulate you into "normalising" things for her.
Its a trick - I fell for the same thing.
Plan B its you're only hope to save your M
Plan D June 08
Me FBS 36
W 38
Married 13/1/09
The best is yet to come, with or without your WS
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Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 81
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Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 81 |
I've been seriously considering Plan B, but have been holding back because the current situation still offers me ample opportunity for Plan A (which I have been doing - sucking it up real hard, and doing).
Judging purely by actions/behaviors I feel that NC is intact, although I'm unsure what the last contact (telephonic) discusses - could be "let's lay low until the dust settles!", or something similar.
Also, Plan B is going to disrupt kids lives significantly. That's the other reason for my hesitation.
Me: 42
WW: 41
Married: 16 years
Known each other: 21 years
S12 D10.5
A Started: Nov 8, 2008
First Discovery: Dec 26th ("Just a Friend" excuse)
Big D-day: Jan 10th (Recorded evidence of full-blown A)
WW Moved out: Feb 1st, 2009.
Plan B started: Feb 13th, 2009.
D Papers served on me by WW: Feb 17th, 2009.
Plan B currently blown, A continues!
WW moved back into home: Feb 23rd, 2009.
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Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 862
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Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 862 |
Ask yourself this, what is your WW losing at the moment? NOTHING. She has everything exactly the way she wants it. She has you running around after her "normalising" everything for her. If you don't go to Plan B now its YOU who will look like the bad guy in your kids eyes for shattering this fantasy exsistance your WW has created for your all, with your help I might add.
I know its hard but if you have any hope of saving your M you must do it now and FAST. She's been plan A'd by you long enough
Plan D June 08
Me FBS 36
W 38
Married 13/1/09
The best is yet to come, with or without your WS
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Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 862
Member
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Member
Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 862 |
Judging purely by actions/behaviors I feel that NC is intact, although I'm unsure what the last contact (telephonic) discusses - could be "let's lay low until the dust settles!", or something similar. You can be 100% sure that this is the case.
Plan D June 08
Me FBS 36
W 38
Married 13/1/09
The best is yet to come, with or without your WS
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Joined: Feb 2009
Posts: 202
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Joined: Feb 2009
Posts: 202 |
Are you letting her leave with the kids? This is a big mistake if you are. Trust me on that.
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Joined: May 2006
Posts: 982
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Joined: May 2006
Posts: 982 |
She has her own apartment. She tells you there is no contact. she and OM are still employed at the same place.
I do not think that there is no contact.
The only way you will find out that there is contact is by snooping.
Are you ready for plan B? You sound like you want to continue Plan A. What is the status of your love bank--almost drained? still a bit more left?
It should be easy to find his car parked in front of that apartment.
Lake
BW-53
FWH-54
H had EA 3 weeks 06
Married 1977
N C 4-10-06
3 DSs
In Recovery
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