I hope I am posting this in the correct forum. I am trying to keep it short but really would like some views on my situation.
I met my husband 9 years ago. I have one son from a previous relationship.We got engaged pretty quickly and also had another child together. We got married 6 years ago. Due to having kids first amd the wedding so shortly after we always struggled financially. 3.5 years ago my husband got an offer to work abroad as a contractor to earn more money for us. I wasn't happy with the decision but supported him as it was supposed to be for 2 years only. He wanted to come back and take his old job back after 2 years.
Anyway as it usually goes when you have more money - you spend more. We bought a house , had 2 fantastic holidays and spent around 10k on converting a bathroom, presents for the kids i.e.
The money just went out of the window like that - on top of everything else I was lonely like hell and didn't cope very well. Example: I would bring him to the airport after a week at home and couldn't face to go back to the empty house after -
So I went shopping instead - nothing major but regularly a few hundred. Not even for me but for the house, the kids, anything to not be home alone without him.
After 2 years we decided to make it 5 years as we had now the mortgage and more outgoings then ever.
Now I wasn't very happy in my job either so I quit end of last year to open a small retail store locally.
My husband wass against it from day one because of the looming recession - but I thought I supported him when he went so he could the same for me now.And from here on it went pear shaped. I found a retail unit and signed without telling him - I told him only after as I was afraid he would stop me.
I started trading in November last year and he seemed supportive in the end.He probably thought if you can't beat them join them.
Now fast forward 4 weeks ago. We are talking and skyping daily and he tells me how unhappy he is and that he loves me but is not in love with me anymore.he says that it started when I opened the shop and that he feels betrayed and that I didn't care about his future happyness when making my decision. He says he feels like my "slave" and that he is under huge financial pressure.
I am flying out to him this weekend to basically decide if we
call it quits or take a second go at our marriage.
In the last 4 weeks I have given up my store(today is my last day
- will continuing to trade online from home) and have taken our kids out of childcare to save money and other things like reviewing insurances, setting up a savings account i.e. Everything to save my marriage.
Now the thing I can't get out of my head: The reason he told me all this 4 weeks ago: He met a female co-worker on his way home and they went for coffee together - he basically opened up to her and told her about his miserable life and the marriage problems we are having - just that I didn't know about it. She said to him - you should talk to your wife!
They have swapped phone numbers and I know they have texted and met at least once since - again by chance on the way home, he says.
I am willing to work on our marriage and solve the financial issue but can't get her out of my head