My EW and I were married on May 5, 2005 and divorced on May 5,2008 (judge signed off on divorce that day, it wasn't planned, just ironic). EW filed for divorce for reasons that were lies to me at the time since she said I was an emotional abuser which was not true. EW was cheating on me and I didn't find out until after divorce. EW called me yesterday, one year to the day of our divorce and 4 yrs. from our anniversary, telling me she still loves me and wants me to work things out with her and get back together. She has been telling me this for about 6 months on and off. She came out of the fog and realized she messed up. This is the problem 1) EW moved 3000 miles away with OM (who is still married) last July, 2) EW has emotional issues (she was diagnosed with bi-polar), 3) EW moved out of OM's house into her own apartment for the last three months but is thinking about moving back in with OM since he will pay all the bills for her.

Why I'm writing this is I feel like all the pain just came back again like it was last year when everything hit me like a train. I know the right thing to do is just move on but I still amazingly have feelings for EW even after all she has put me through. I've been dating here and there but nothing serious since I haven't found anyone I would want to get serious with. Also, I've been having an extremely difficult time financially the last two years since I am in the real estate business. I guess I'm just looking for some emotional support and any suggestions on what you would do in my shoes? Thanks!

EW doesn't have emotional issues, she has medical issues.

Is she complying with a medical treatment plan for her bipolar disorder?

If not, there is no basis for recovery. This is as serious a hindrance to recovery, IMHO, as addiction issues.

No, she is just taking Adderal for work. But I believe she is abusing it since it is a stimulant and takes high doses. She says it makes her concentrate. She is taking no prescriptions for bi-polar. She said she wants to go the natural route? which to her means meditation.

Is she prescribed Adderall? It is typically prescribed to people with ADD or ADHD, not to people who are bi-polar.

So, why is she taking it?

Yes, she is prescribed this. She says she has ADD and makes her concentrate at work. I believe it's BS beause I think she likes the euphoric, stimulating feeling she gets.

Lets be blunt. I would not start a relationship with someone I knew to be bipolar, much less try to recover a relationship with a bipolar woman who had cheated on me. Even more weight against it is that she wants to pursue placebo-style treatment.

My recommendation is to remove the pathways she can use to contact you. Get some distance from her to let your emotions normalize. There are plenty of good women out there.

Change your number, change your e-mail address, and train yourself to break off contact immediately with that woman if she ever manages to contact you again.

A simple "I prefer if you stop contacting me. Goodbye" either via telephone or e-mail should suffice. Repeat as necessary.

Read this!!

http://forums.healthcentral.com/discussion/bipolar/forums/a/tpc/f/2651085/m/75710961

Run away, run away as fast as you can!!

Change all contact information you have!!
Do not let this human contact you again!!
Go so far as moving, or taking down your mailbox and getting a P.O. box if you have to!!

B.P. is not currable and it only gets worse, very rapidly when not medicated.

I have ADD so I can understand taking the medications if they are prescribed. Did the same doctor who diagnosed her as a bi-polar also diagnose her ADD? I'm worried that she may have been misdiagnosed, because these two disorders have similar symptoms. However, only 15 to 17% (and this is an estimate) of people with BPD have ADHD. So, your EW would be in a very small range of people.

I agree with the others who say that you should move on and ask her not to contact you. Being in a relationship is hard enough without adding in BPD.

Good luck. ;-)