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dh104 #2261489 05/15/09 08:00 AM
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Blood tests are not worth the time, or the lab equipment used.

DNA is the only way to go.

Why?

For the same reason courts assumed that the husband was the dad. The blood test can only show who is not the dad. Not who is the dad.

The OM or any potential OM can have the same blood type as the husband.

And as americajin said: "If a person has the Bombay phenotype (exceedingly rare), they lack the H substance necessary to express the red cell antigens for A and B, and so would type as O during a type and screen while geneticaly being A, B or AB. So, yes, this would be a possibility."

This shows that blood tests are not acurate 100% of the time.

This is why DNA tests need to be done with all of the children. There have been too many stories here where the WW was found out to have an affair that was longer duration then admitted to, other affairs and OM that were denied.

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Speaking only for myself ... If there was ANY question of paternity, I would DNA asap.

I have no desire to raise or support some other man's child.

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So any child not yours by DNA is SEP? (somebody else's problem)


I never had to take the Kobayashi Maru test until now. What do you think of my solution?

O'hana means family, and family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten.

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Originally Posted by Dealan-de
So any child not yours by DNA is SEP? (somebody else's problem)

Exactly ... it's (somebody else's CHILD).

Also, I'd like to point out that I made it very clear in my first post ... "Speaking only for myself" ... if somebody else wants to raise &/or support someone else's child, it doesn't affect me in the least.

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Originally Posted by MyRev
Speaking only for myself ... If there was ANY question of paternity, I would DNA asap.

I have no desire to raise or support some other man's child.



Even if you thought for the last 6-1/2 years the child was yours and raised her as such? I think that is the situation is here. That would be quite a dilemma.

If she failed the DNA test what would you do with the child MyRev? Just curious.



Testosterone boys! Testosterone! It ain’t just for nose, ear and back hair anymore!
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>That would be quite a dilemma.


I agree.

As a mom to an OC that we don't even know is my HUSBAND's, I'd like to know would it change your LOVE for the child in any way.

We opted NOT to DNA test OC5yo b/c 1} I don't think I could live through another DNA testing again - no matter what the answer is, it hurts and 2}because the little munchkin holds our hearts in his little hands and damitol we could give him a wonderful life - and a better life than he'd have had being raised by VD.


I never had to take the Kobayashi Maru test until now. What do you think of my solution?

O'hana means family, and family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten.

My Story

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Originally Posted by chrisner
Even if you thought for the last 6-1/2 years the child was yours and raised her as such? I think that is the situation is here. That would be quite a dilemma.

If she failed the DNA test what would you do with the child MyRev? Just curious.

Folks, don't get all wrapped around the axle over someone having a differing opinion on a subject.

However, to answer your question ... since failing the DNA test would mean that she would be the D of the OM, AND my WW would have been LYING to me about it for 6+ years ... the child could live with her mother after the divorce, and I would not be paying CS or seeking any type of visitation.

Obviously, others have chosen different options. I simply don't think this is an issue you can judge someone on that has different boundaries and beliefs.

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Quote
Folks, don't get all wrapped around the axle over someone having a differing opinion on a subject.


It was simple and I believe respectfully asked question. I was just curious.


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Originally Posted by chrisner
It was simple and I believe respectfully asked question. I was just curious.

True, my statement was precautionary, I "sensed" I was about to get a "How could you?" lecture type of post. Instead though, it appears that Dealan-de has started her own thread using some of my words from this thread out of context, and that's OK too. These are my honest thoughts of the subject, but its not a mountain I'm willing to die defending.

Have a good weekend.


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No, no, no no!

Never ever "how could you" on this issue, Rev. Tryin' to understand is all.

There are those who "can't..." Not, won't, but CAN'T. KWIM?

They just couldn't...and I am trying to understand that, too.

Fudgemonkeys.

> Dealan-de has started her own thread using some of my words from this thread out of context

Apologies.

I guess it's about how one makes the choices...the steps involved in the decisions.

Unh.

I don't think I'm choosing MY words write/right. I know what I want to say, but am not getting it out correctly.


I never had to take the Kobayashi Maru test until now. What do you think of my solution?

O'hana means family, and family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten.

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You calling me a fudgemonkey? skeptical stickout


BW - me
exWH - serial cheater
2 awesome kids
Divorced 12/2011




Many a good man has failed because he had a wishbone where his backbone should have been.

We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face... we must do that which we think we cannot.
--------Eleanor Roosevelt
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Oh, fudgemonkeys is my multipurpose cuss word...I use it when I'm particuarly exasperated with myself.

If it's really bad, I say "CATS & DOGS!"


I never had to take the Kobayashi Maru test until now. What do you think of my solution?

O'hana means family, and family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten.

My Story

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I'm just messin with ya. Although I have never heard that exact phrase before. One I can use around the kids... grin


BW - me
exWH - serial cheater
2 awesome kids
Divorced 12/2011




Many a good man has failed because he had a wishbone where his backbone should have been.

We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face... we must do that which we think we cannot.
--------Eleanor Roosevelt
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Dealan-de,

An apology is unnecessary, but accepted anyway.

I know a lot of people say "you never know what you would do until faced with this situation", and that may be true for some, but I've done quite a bit of introspection over the past 2 years, and I know how hard its been to R from FogFree's A, and it was almost "tame" compared to what others have experienced.

There are just certain things that I know my pride, ego, self-respect wouldn't allow me to tolerate ... and an OC would be at the top of that list.

FogFree and I have even discussed some of the MB situations involving OC's, and we BOTH agree that the ONLY reponse that we would consider ... if it were us in those shoes ... would be to terminate the pregnancy immediately.

The situation at hand is even "potentially" worse than finding your WW pregnant, since the child has now been born, and a series of lies have followed to keep the BH in the dark. In that situation, my only option would be an immediate D, and since the child would represent the ultimate TRIGGER to what would then be the worst time in my life ... I would have to go NC with the child also.

Others might not agree or understand ... but it feels "right" to ME.

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>Others might not agree or understand ... but it feels "right" to ME.


I think I CAN understand this.

It's the mirror of MY decision to keep the Wookie and the Wookettes ... it feels "right".

Yes.

That's it exactly.


I never had to take the Kobayashi Maru test until now. What do you think of my solution?

O'hana means family, and family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten.

My Story

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To dump the WW and OC is ok.

To keep the WW and OC is OK.

It's what the BH wants and can handle.

Theire is nothing wrong being stuck with paying to raise the OC or dump and not pay for the OC.

If the BH divorces. It is the WW's problem because of her lies and infidelity. The BH suffers. The OC suffers. The WW gets what she deserves and is responsible and the cause for her deceit. The OM most likely gets away free.

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Some states will make the non-bio dad continue to pay CS even after a DNA if the kid is beyond 2 years old. They claim best interest of the child. Especially when the real bio-dad can't be found.

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Originally Posted by MyRevelation
Others might not agree or understand ... but it feels "right" to ME.

Feeling are all you have when you don't live by moral values.

**********EDIT**********

Last edited by JustUss; 05/16/09 11:43 AM. Reason: TOS

Me: 56 (FBS) Wife: 55 (FWW)
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*****************EDIT**************

Last edited by JustUss; 05/16/09 11:46 AM. Reason: TOS

Me: 56 (FBS) Wife: 55 (FWW)
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Originally Posted by bigkahuna
Feeling are all you have when you don't live by moral values.

************EDIT*************.

Exactly what is MORAL about raising someone elses child. It may be GRACIOUS, or UNSELFISH, or HUMANITARIAN, but just where is there a MORAL component to do so???

To answer my own question ... THERE IS NONE.
**********************EDIT******************

Last edited by JustUss; 05/16/09 12:00 PM. Reason: REMOVE QUOTE & TOS
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