Ask them to contact her and update them on the recent development. If there are any other friends and family who should know, CALL THEM today.

This is soooo not over, Carolina, so don't worry. The affair is doomed. It has a 95% chance of failure - you have a 65% chance of saving your marriage.

Carolina, your update was pretty much exactly what I would have expected. But that doesn't mean there's not still hope.

Just like ML has told you, the crack pipe has been taken away and the addict is now freaking out and trying to find a way to maintain the addiction.

You did a great job and now it will take a little time for the affair to end, but you must believe that the end process has begun.


Edit: Well ML beat me to it, listen to her she knows.
Now that things are out in the open their relationship will change completely and not for the better. Now it becomes real with all the problems that real relationships have.

Hang in there and listen to the advice of the vets here. You will have to be patient, but all is not lost.

Wow....thanks guys! You certainly brightened up my day. Her dad was keeping our kids (at our house) while she was at work. I just called to see how the kids were and she was home already, and her dad was still there. I know he is 100% what I need for her to hear right now so I feel good about that. It just seems so freaking hopeless right now. I just hope she comes-to before it is too late. I am going to talk to an attorney on Monday, not to make any moves yet but just to protect myself in case things do go bad.

OM has actually called me several times today. Sent it straight to VM. The last thing I want to hear right now is him telling me that my wife loves him, not me, etc. He's obviously in panic mode too so he can just deal with being uncomfortable now. I'm sure as hell not giving him an outlet to vent.

C, has her father spoken to her?

Please call the OM back and tell him HELL IS COMING. Tell him that you are not giving up your marriage and that if this goes to divorce, you will file on grounds of adultery and have him hauled into court to give testimony under oath.

Tell him there is no future with your wife because he will be ETERNALLY HATED by your children and the inlaws. tell him that your in-laws know about his adultery and will never be welcome to darken their doorstep.

Also, will your FIL call this scumbag up and read him the riot act?

Just make sure that you keep pointing out that YOU are not leaving and neither are the kids.

I agree on giving OM hell. He is calling you up? Who does this jerk think he is??

Is he on FB? Have you considered exposing this to his FB friends?

Great job Carolina!

Now the affair will begin to experience stress.
She is going to have huge expectations that OM had better be "worth it" -- all the trouble and stress! Now he has to REALLY come through with being EVERYTHING she fantased him to be.
And he has to do that even though HE is under stress and expecting all the same from her.

Right now, they are expecting the BEST out of each other, and neither is going to come through. They are both realing in their own stressful situations.

Carolina, it will be important right now to contain your emotions and act with deliberation and calm. What has happened here is that you have struck a death blow to the Titanic and it is sinking. The affairees are running to try and save the sinking ship, but it will be of no avail. They are desperately trying to right the ship.

That means that you will need to be calm and continue your strategy to kill the affair. You can't allow yourself to get scared off from killing the affair. So, keep your mind on your mission and don't let all the screaming distract you.

Pick up the phone and finish off your exposures. Ask your inlaws to speak to your wife and most especially to the OM. Call the OM and tell him - firmly and calmly - that hell is coming. Go on the OM's facebook account and email all of his friends and family, telling them that he is an adulterer who is pursuing your wife.

Ask your MIL to call his mother and ask her to use her influence to stop her son from ruining 2 families for her his sick, selfish pursuits.

Do this calmly and deliberately, Carolina. You have the affair on the ropes right now and you can't afford to let up.

Have you removed any money that she can plunder? Before you do any of this, I would get your money protected, because she will plunder it.

Now comes the coldest splash of reality she has ever faced. Will she leave her home and her husband and her children to assume her affair? How in the world will she ever do that and face her family or her children again? Be sure you tell her she can't take those kids out of their home without a court order and a sheriff with a big GUN. She needs to know you will not cooperate and will not allow your children to be dragged into her sleazy, sick affair.

Reality is coming crushing down TODAY as the titanic begins its sink.

Carolina, if you want to see how this will play out - if it even goes that far, which I doubt - go read the story of Sue and John in Surviving an Affair. It is a true story about Sue's affair with Greg. When she left and moved in with her affair partner, the affair quickly crumbled. A long term affair based on a fantasy died once it was out in the open and the reality of life intruded.

And that is what will happen here. The reason that affairs RARELY ever make it to marriage is because the very traits that made them possible, thoughtlessness, deceit, selfishness poison the relationship and quickly kill it off.

The best thing that can happen is that the OMW comes here and lets us help her too. If she does a nuclear exposure on her end, it will help hasten the death of this affair.

I would add that I'd be watching the kids like a hawk. To make sure she doesn't go crazy and pack them up and take them while you're not looking.