You have information that could land him in prison, and you think using it would be vengeful?

It's irresponsible to not bring that information forward. He needs to feel the consequences of his actions.

Expects I held on for over two years. I was in Plan B for almost a year. There was NOTHING that gave me any hope. He was just GONE.

I had to simply give him to G-d and trust the process. Along the way, taking care of myself, protecting my children and finances. I tried to give up many times, but then I would just be still and listen to G-d.

Trust HIM. He will walk you through this.

Kamarose, you're probably right. He has broken all confidence i've ever given him. Yes, I'd say I'm feeling a angry, lol!Vengeful? That's just not me typically, so maybe it does bother me some; the thought. I still love my husband. Geez, what to do? I don't want to be like him.

I know if I could remove BFF in time, I maty have a chance with WH. He feels sad a lot and tells me he doesn't really want to do this. I think his BFF is right in his ear telling him to do it. So frustrating!

I'm thinking I'll just let Karma get them.

Queenie. You are always inspiring! I've been struggling with my faith a lot. It's very hard because WH will be moving to the Midwest (I'm on the west coast) in a few months. He's quitting his govt. job and moving in with OW; probably into the home she won in D-court from her XH.I feel I'm being left in the dust. I do feel blessed that OW's XH called me. It was like needle in a haystack; he has a very common name. I searched him and picked a number and called; no answer. He has called me back many times in the last few days and never said anything until today. He knew exactly who I was and was surprised that I didn't know for sure about WH and OW.

I've been thinking of more info I could give OWXH on WH. I'm wondering if maybe I give enough dirt, he will attempt to get the kids out of the house if WH moves in. What do you all think?

I'm just thinking that maybe if OW feels like she may lose her kids, the affair may not look so grand. Just a few of the other things I thought I may relay to OWXH is that WH got 13 year old DD drunk this summer; tried to get 10 year old DS drunk too but he refused, WH is an alcoholic (didn't drink during our marriage; with exception to a few times when he went on business trips, and since the whole Iraq thing) and is drinking constantly now, I feel WH may have PTSD and is already on a federal watch list. I know this isn't really plan A stuff. Maybe I'm reaching for straws?

I'm having the hardest time on this rollercoaster of emotions. I go between such anger, rage, animosity, and heartwrenching grief, saddness, depression and helplessness. Is this normal? I feel like I'm going insane!

Of course all of those emotions are normal. I can go through all of those emotions in minutes. Hang in there.

Thanks Scotland. It's very hard. Yesterday I found out for certain who the OW is and in the same day my WH attorney told him he can't speak to me until the D is final. I feel like all I can do is wait for my marriage to end. It sucks so much! I know they think they are in love. It hurts so much. I've loved him for six years. I can't stand this. How do you all keep yourselves level? I go between the urge to let the truth be known; which will destroy his life, and loving and missing him. UGH!

I am flooded with the happy memories and it hurts (especially through the holidays, knowing he was with her). So, I try to focus on the negative. I get mad. Is there no in between? How can I maintain a balance? So I can be somewhat sane. I'm usually very level headed; but this whole thing was such a shock, it has thrown me into a tizzy.

Do whatever you can do to make the OW's life difficult. She wants to replace her H with YOURS, and vice versa.

I have never been a jealous person, and stupidly always trusted him even after the affair I knew about. So when he told me about the D and told me it was my fault, I believed him. I cried forever wondering what I had done. I now realize that there were EN's I wasn't fulfilling. But, even after I was 99.9% sure it was an affair, part of me didn't want to believe it. Not my husband, he loves me so much (yeah, right?). And it hurt even more when I learned he was telling everyone I had an affair.
I started feeling guilty about our friend who hit on me, even though I told him no and had encouraged him to save his marriage; which he did. I kept running it all through my mind wondering if I had done anything wrong. The only thing I could think of was trusting the friend not to hit on me; I never should have gotten myself into that place, but the guy was really like family. I just don't feel I can compete with the OW. She just completed her D, has a house and probably alimony and child support. Of course my WH will be so happy to not have to work and just live in her home and be taken care of. I'm in my senior year of college and have no income; all at my H urging. He's leaving me in the dust with major debt from the loans we agreed together we could pay back with a two income household. Now I'm a single mom. I'm in a much worse position than I was when we met. I'm very scared and very hurt.

Thanks Karmarose. The things I have on WH are very big. I'm just hesitant to push the button. I feel I'll never get him back if I do. That's why I was thinking of telling OWXH all the dirt I know on WH in hopes that he can battle from there as he is right there and I am across country.

I feel like I'm starting this whole thing all over again because now I know FOR SURE! Part of me was in denial before. It was so hard being lied to and blamed, but it is also very hard to know and envision it in my mind. Will this pain ever end, ever?

So by making her life difficult..that would include telling her EX all the dirt on WH, right? Should I contact her? Should I send her family the email my WH sent me talking about how he likes hookers and how his XW is a hooker?

Well there isn't a lot that I know in this sitch. The only advice that I do have for you is about OW. DO NOT CONTACT OW. It really isn't worth it.

Thanks Scotland. I won't.

BTW Scotland, I feel you Anniverary pain. I got D papers on ours