Greetings!

I am new here. I have been married seven years (come January) and I stopped wanting to do any recreational activities with my husband years ago because he is so competitive.

I feel like he always has to be better, smarter, faster,
etc...at everything. It's taken all the joy out of doing things with him. Nothing is about fun, comraderie, the love of the game, togetherness. It's about him competing and winning and beign the best. We always have to keep score, and he constantly corrects me. On top of that when we do keep score I have to do it because he cheats. It's frustrating. Instead if enjoying playing I end up really stressed out and frustrated, then of course I understandably dont do well.

We've picked up reading books in the same room as eachother after the kids have gone to sleep. As if that is actually spending time together or as if it is a hobby, lol.

If I find something that I think he will enjoy, I cannot even read two paragraphs to him without him correcting my pronounciation. What do I do? I love him, but I hate spending time with him.

TIA for any suggestions, Lara

Lara,

Have you seen the Recreational Enjoyment Inventory?

See this>>> [color:"blue"]REI[/color] <<<

It can give you some ideas for recreational activities that maybe neither of you have considered.

Mark

Lara, I know how you feel. My H is a former professional athlete, and he's so competitive his own family even avoids playing cards with him.

We tried to play a friendly game of monopoly once and it didn't end well. At all. I'm currently trying to think of things we can do together that don't involve competition.

We have started going to more movies, and trying new restaurants. We've thrown around the idea of hiking also. We are starting to travel more, take little weekend getaways and stuff.

Lara,

Have you been open and honest with your husband about how his behavior hurts you, withdraws love units, and causes you to not want to spend time with him?

I'm trying to get my wife interested in some of the same things as me, but here is my idea/2cents. Do you like trivia? Does he like video games? Is there any kind of game you can play where you are on the same team? My wife and I used to play a game on PS3 called Buzz! It wasn't the best but it was good in that we were both on the same team and competed in trivia games against other people over the internet (kind of like You Don't Know Jack back in the day on PC). Typically we both have areas that we are better than the other one at so the competitive nature thing doesn't get in the way. I'm into video games but your guy might not be, but it'd be awesome to me if my wife had interest in playing a co-op game. Even a Wii title like Mario Bros (kind of old school) where you are both on the same team could be fun. I've been brainstorming some for my own situation so maybe this doesn't help you. Just thought it might be an idea. Or something to get the ball rolling. To me, being on a team with your wife and having fun is about as good as it gets for RC. I don't really want to compete against her. I want to enjoy winning on the same team (co-rec leagues on volleyball or softball).