May be you need, dear- to eaplain to DD that, tho you love her and want to know about her life. XWH activites just do not intrest you.
she will get the clue'

What about her update?

Chai,

You are doing MAH-VE-LOUS! I don't know if DD will understand/appreciate your not wanting to hear anything about XWH. Your call on if it is worth attempting that conversation.

Despite all efforts, from time to time, you WILL be subjected to those types of 'updates' even when you REALLY do NOT want them. It will get easier with time. Similar thing happened to me the other day,,,,someone felt it necessary to tell me something about Drac. I was FINALLY able for the FIRST time to say, "Oh really." and left the conversation right there. No major feeling of being punched in the gut.

You will get there too.

You have come so far in your journey. Be proud of where you are today, as you deserve to recognize your accomplishments!

I SO love that you are going to be able to keep the shop until the lease expires. And ya know what? That's some time in the future & who knows where you will be at that time? Who knows what options you may have? You may be doing SO well with both full time work and the shop that you might need to open a second location!!

Just keep your mind open to the infinate possibilities that await you!!!

Have a great weekend!

Hi CL,



I TOTALLY second Bugs on this!

Congratulations on the job, chai!

Hey Barbie,

I've told DD before, but she doesn't listen very well. Typical addict.

Her update? Still in rehab (taking methadone), baby due in July. UGH. I already told her that I am not even going to the hospital. I am not getting involved in it anymore. These children need parents that can care for them. She mentioned adoption, but who knows what she will do. She is still living in a place that isn't reality. The hard truth is that this child will be immediately taken and put in foster care. I hate it, but I just can't do it again. I will be travelling with my new job and trying to manage a business at the same time, so a newborn is just not possible for me again. It's sad.
I already have no time for myself. I work 6 days per week then I have Chaibaby every weekend and that alone is killing me. I'm just too freakin' old for this stuff.

CPS is now talking about taking chaibaby away from the other grandparents. It's a long story, but they were also caring for their other grandchild (chaibaby's cousin) and were in a custody battle with the other grandma. Grandpa got drunk, called the other grandma to tell her a thing or two and things got a little out of hand. The other grandma complained to CPS that he drinks too much, blah, blah blah so CPS took that baby out and gave it to the other grandma.

Now CPS is saying that chaibaby is not safe there either. They have their problems, but they do take great care of those kids, and chaibaby loves his grandpa. He cries after him every weekend. The whole thing is so ridiculous. Yes, he drinks a little too much wine some evenings, but overall he is a really good guy. Chaibaby is very happy there, so I am going to be so upset if CPS takes him out to foster care.

DD is upset, but I told her that it's all up to her what happens.

Bugs, Luna, FF, thanks for dropping by. Yes, it does get easier with time, but there is that sick-in-the-gut feeling sometimes when you hear their name. Especially when you have gone for weeks without thinking about it too much.

It quickly passes though. The bottom line is that I am pretty happy where I am right now, and I like that!

Have a great weekend all.....

It is never good for a child to be in a home with a drunkard. No matter how tame you think he is.

Some children who see it end up like me, repulsed by alcohol and fearing their 21st birthday.

Some start drinking at a young age. You do not want that happening to Chaibaby.

Chai,

Sorry to hear about the continued troubles for Chaibaby. I know how that breaks your heart.

Are you still attending meetings for support? I know it has to be the hardest thing ever, but it's important that you care for yourself and find a way to let DD go. You are right, you can not take care of HER life or that of her children.

There may come a time that it is appropriate and you can do something. For now, if you don't take care of you, then you won't be any good to anyone else, either.

Hugs to you my friend!

Chai, everyday you become stronger. We see the change and it is making you whole again.

Karma is changing for good and it is coming your way!

Blessings also.

CL,


This is a very good sign. Keep up the good work!

I know what you are saying Karma, but I really wouldn't describe him as a drunkard. Maybe he is and I just don't know it. He seems very caring and always willing to help. Sometimes though, I think he is an enabler.

Yes Bugs, I am still in Al-anon. It has really been a big help to me. Not only with DD but with everything. That whole concept of one day at a time has helped me through a lot of things.

Hope and Luna, you two are walking the walk as well. I was thinking about all of the D'd spouses on the board and it is amazing how far all of us have come in the last year or two.
March on we will!!!!!

Chai,

Yes we are Marching on, but don't forget to stop every once in a while and DANCE!

You need a new thread! With the positive turn of things, "WH filed for D," does not, does not describe you now.

You held onto your store, you survived the big D, (thing O the past) you have a positive new job and you love and have done everything you could for chaibaby, and most importantly you have learned that you can not change and must accept your DD's condition, and leave her recovery to her.

These are huge steps.

So, what could your new thread be named? Chai's _________-

He's what you might call a high-functioning alcoholic. While he might be safe it is not safe for kids to think that drinking too much is okay.

Barbie,

I believe you are right. Let this be the last post to my thread. I will start a new one and follow Bugsy's lead. I have to think of a new name for my new thread!!!

CL,



...and if this may seem like a 'little step' in the short-term... watch carefully, as it is actually MAJOR....long-term!

CL = redefining herself!

GOOD CALL.....


Hey Chai-baby,

I am sooooo diggin' your new outlook!!!!! I too am so proud of you.....

That being said, I've taken the liberty of thinking of a few titles for you.....feel free to use at your discretion.....

"Chai-lover: The Dawning of a New Haira"

"The Highlights and Lowlights of Chai's life"

"Chailover- The Extensions Version"

"Chailover's New Thread-No Ponytails Allowed"

"Life after D: The AquaNet Series"

"For a Split-ends Good Time, Come on in"

"Lather, Rinse, DON'T Repeat: Chai's Fresh Start"

....some may get offended by the NO PONYTAILS one but that was more of a tribute to you and Mimi....

Not2fun

Now, whats wrong with ponytails?

.....not a blessed thing.....unless it's a LB of course.....

one more Chai,

"Chailovers tale: The French Twist Version"

Not2fun

ps.....here I go cracking myself up again!!!!!!

Chai: Finally Unbraided!

Chai, you'd better get moving on that new thread name--it's gettin' ugly out here.
Just a thought--maybe rather than starting a new thread, you can just have the mods change the name of this one. Lots of newbies don't go back and read people's whole story if it's buried in the archives.
On the other hand, you might want to just start fresh and maybe put a link in the first post in case someone wants to find the backstory
Hope all is going well!