|
|
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 676
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 676 |
Does anyone ever feel sympathy for the person comitting the affair?
And for that matter, the 3rd party involved?
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
Does anyone ever feel sympathy for the person comitting the affair?
And for that matter, the 3rd party involved? Do you feel sympathy for rapists and child molestors? No, I don't feel sympathy for adulterers. I feel sympathy for their victims just as my sympathy goes to the rape victim, not the rapist.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 2,617
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 2,617 |
Does anyone ever feel sympathy for the person comitting the affair?
And for that matter, the 3rd party involved? Uhhhhhhh....NO!
BW me-41 WH -39 DS - 9 married 12 Yrs together(?) 18 yrs when A discovered DDay aug 2007 found MB dec 2007 Moved out april 2008 still seeing OW Plan B Okay I fixed the ages, it was looking screwy. 
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 8,240
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 8,240 |
MelodyLane took the words right out of my mouth and said them even more eloquently than I could have EVER imagined.
BW(Me)aka Scotty:37 DSx2: 10,12 DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09 Plan B Dec18/09 Personal R in works Scotty's THING  Newly Betrayed click herePraying for walls and doors. Thanx MM “Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.” ? Maya Angelou PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION THANK YOU
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 676
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 676 |
Wow, those are some really harsh words. I can't even begin to imagine how those can compare. I don't think of rapists, child molestors, and people who have an affair, even remotely belong in the same sentence, or even the same paragraph.
Wow...I'm still shocked.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 9,549 Likes: 10
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 9,549 Likes: 10 |
What answer were you looking for?
BW
Married 1989
His PA 2003-2006
2 kids.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 2,617
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 2,617 |
The effect it has on the victims is the similar. Why are you in shock?
BW me-41 WH -39 DS - 9 married 12 Yrs together(?) 18 yrs when A discovered DDay aug 2007 found MB dec 2007 Moved out april 2008 still seeing OW Plan B Okay I fixed the ages, it was looking screwy.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 676
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 676 |
Ohkay, the follow up question then becomes...why not?
There is obviously a reason for it. That person is obviously hurting in some way within the marriage for it to happen.
Then what about the difference between a physical affair and an emotional one? If it is emotional, any sympathy there?
Last edited by TomOlympus; 06/18/10 06:23 PM.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 9,549 Likes: 10
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 9,549 Likes: 10 |
She needs to be looking for a full time job, but is not doing so, I am not sure what her plan is at this time. Talking with her about money has always been hard, but lately it is all I have been thinking about. She is working part time, but needs to find something permanent. As a result I enjoy the times that she is not home much more to when she is here. I am tense and stressed any time that I am around her. But I do not want her to know that because she would take it personally and then I would have to work to fix those emotions. I am not a good communicator, I don't know how to address this without her getting upset. I want to be able to enjoy my time, but I'm not. She also wants to have a baby, but I do not want that to happen right now. It is not a good time for that at all. So I just conitnue to find ways to avoid being intimate. Please tell us more about you, and why you are curious about sympathy for waywards and their affair partners.
BW
Married 1989
His PA 2003-2006
2 kids.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 8,240
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 8,240 |
Wow, those are some really harsh words. I can't even begin to imagine how those can compare. I don't think of rapists, child molestors, and people who have an affair, even remotely belong in the same sentence, or even the same paragraph.
Wow...I'm still shocked. Have you been guilty of committing adultery? Are you looking to cause a ruckus tonight?
BW(Me)aka Scotty:37 DSx2: 10,12 DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09 Plan B Dec18/09 Personal R in works Scotty's THING Newly Betrayed click herePraying for walls and doors. Thanx MM “Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.” ? Maya Angelou PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION THANK YOU
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
Wow, those are some really harsh words. I can't even begin to imagine how those can compare. I don't think of rapists, child molestors, and people who have an affair, even remotely belong in the same sentence, or even the same paragraph. Actually they do belong in the same sentence. Adultery is as traumatic as rape, physical assault or the death of a child according to psychologists. It is the worst thing that can happen to someone. Committing adultery is what is "harsh."
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 8,240
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 8,240 |
Ohkay, the follow up question then becomes...why not?
The is obviously a reason for it. That person is obviously hurting in some way within the marriage for it to happen.
Then what about the difference between a physical affair and an emotional one? If it is emotional, any sympathy there? NOPE. An affair is an affair. It doesn't hurt the betrayed spouse any less. Just ask the VICTIMS of an EA to find out.
BW(Me)aka Scotty:37 DSx2: 10,12 DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09 Plan B Dec18/09 Personal R in works Scotty's THING Newly Betrayed click herePraying for walls and doors. Thanx MM “Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.” ? Maya Angelou PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION THANK YOU
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 9,549 Likes: 10
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 9,549 Likes: 10 |
Ohkay, the follow up question then becomes...why not?
The is obviously a reason for it. That person is obviously hurting in some way within the marriage for it to happen.
Then what about the difference between a physical affair and an emotional one? If it is emotional, any sympathy there? Tom, are you really thinking that you might find sympathy for affair partners on THIS board - Marriage Builders, or are you trying to seek attention and stir up trouble?
BW
Married 1989
His PA 2003-2006
2 kids.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
Ohkay, the follow up question then becomes...why not?
There is obviously a reason for it. That person is obviously hurting in some way within the marriage for it to happen. I am sure that rapists feel some "hurt" in their lives too. It doesn't warrant assualting another human being. Then what about the difference between a physical affair and an emotional one? If it is emotional, any sympathy there? Sympathy for what? For cruelly stabbing your spouse in the back? How does that warrant sympathy?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 676
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 676 |
No I have not had an affair, and no I was not looking to cause a ruckus. I have just always thought about all parties involved when this happens. Why it happens.
I guess in part because a lot of songs you hear about affairs are from the point of view of the one that was cheated on. I'm always curious about the point of view of the one who cheated.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
I guess in part because a lot of songs you hear about affairs are from the point of view of the one that was cheated on. I'm always curious about the point of view of the one who cheated. Why? Is there any justification for cruel, vicious behavior?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 2,617
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 2,617 |
![[Linked Image from pic4ever.com]](http://www.pic4ever.com/images/oregonian_winesmiley.gif) Okay, im ready, this should be good....
BW me-41 WH -39 DS - 9 married 12 Yrs together(?) 18 yrs when A discovered DDay aug 2007 found MB dec 2007 Moved out april 2008 still seeing OW Plan B Okay I fixed the ages, it was looking screwy.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 8,240
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 8,240 |
Would you listen to a song by a rape victim and wonder what the reasons were behind that horrendous action? What has brought you to marriage builders? HAve you read any of the material here? Is there a question you have about some of the material here? BTW I was asking Tom NOT ML. (Sorry I just started to reply in the box, lazy )
Last edited by Scotland; 06/18/10 06:29 PM.
BW(Me)aka Scotty:37 DSx2: 10,12 DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09 Plan B Dec18/09 Personal R in works Scotty's THING Newly Betrayed click herePraying for walls and doors. Thanx MM “Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.” ? Maya Angelou PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION THANK YOU
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 2,617
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 2,617 |
BW me-41 WH -39 DS - 9 married 12 Yrs together(?) 18 yrs when A discovered DDay aug 2007 found MB dec 2007 Moved out april 2008 still seeing OW Plan B Okay I fixed the ages, it was looking screwy.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 676
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 676 |
Are you not concerned about the happiness of all parties involved?
Before, during, and after an affair?
|
|
|
Moderated by Ariel, BerlinMB, Denali, Fordude, IrishGreen, MBeliever, MBsurvivor, MBSync, McLovin, Mizar, PhoenixMB, Toujours
|
0 members (),
431
guests, and
99
robots. |
|
Key:
Admin,
Global Mod,
Mod
|
|
|
Forums67
Topics133,625
Posts2,323,524
Members72,039
| |
Most Online6,102
Jul 3rd, 2025
|
|
|
|
