So as I mentioned in my other thread I am contemplating going back to my husband and in the mean time I am staying at a friends apartment. I have mentioned to my friend that I am thinking about going back and she has adamantly refused to support my decision even going as far to say I am an "idiot" for considering it. Needless to say I really do not want to discuss it with her anymore.

I feel I may lose my friend over this - I think she feels that because she gave me a place to stay she has a right to an opinion in what happens to me.

Eh. I just wish I had as much support for saving my marriage as for ending it.

How do you guys, especially BS's, deal with negative critism when you decided to fight for your marriages? I am definitely someone who said I would leave if I was cheated on, and I suppose my decision to go back to WH could be viewed as stupid or spineless to some. Then again they are not in my shoes.

It is not stupid or spineless to want to save your M...I did not read your other thread, but I am a BS and I would have taken my WH back in a heartbeat(if he met my stipulations of course). I just ignore the negative people...or you could tell her that you appreciate her opinion but it is hard to say what you would do unless it actually happens to you....and that you would appreciate her support in saving your M.

Listen, its your life, its your M......just dont go back to him without boandaries set that your WH needs to follow. Have you read "surviving an affair" by Dr harley?

You need to have rules in place like transparancy and a promise to us the MB principles...things like that...You dont want to end up in a false recovery.

As for your friend...if she cannot support your decision, it might be difficult to stay her friend, ya know?

I too am a BS and I have had MONTHS of dealing with people who thought I should just cut my loses and runnnnnnnnnnn. They really did mean well. They just wanted to look out for me and they wanted what they thought would be best for me. Of course, I always got the good ol', "Once a cheater, always a cheater." The way that I got through to people was that I would explain that I had a plan and that it was a set out plan by a PROFESSIONAL and that he had saved HUNDREDS if not THOUSANDS of marriages from infidelity. I really believe in MB and I would tell people all about it(of course, not the people who would tell my WH where to come). It's even better that months into my Plan B, I am actually feeling and doing better so people see the results. Now, those same people are telling me how strong I am and how well I have handled everything.

So, in a nutshell, you have to just live it and show people that you are doing good with it all. If they see you improving there will be no reason to advise you differently, KWIM?

I truly believe that Dr Harley has a GREAT plan for recovering and if you follow it to a T, you have an EXCELLENT chance at recovering your marriage. You need to follow ALL of the steps though, you can't just pick and choose. It's not a menu, it's an instruction manual.

Thank her for her love and support. Tell her how much it and she has meant to you. Tell her you understand that she disagrees w/ what you are about to do. Then hug her and tell her you love her. And then go back to your H.