I have not posted on here for a long time. Dday passed on Aug 26th...it was tough emotionally, for me. My spouse didn't seem to notice, even though she knew.

Well to update, we are doing not very well at all. I moved into the guest room about 2 months ago. We hardly ever talk about anything.

For a while it seemed we were doing ok, but as time passed and the hurt part took back seat to the actually thinking of what she did part, I just looked at the A's differently. I looked at my spouse differently.

Its hard to explain but instead of using my emotions, I was using my brain, when I thought of her A's, and things changed, in my mind.

My spouse still has never taken full responsibilities for her A's...well she will sort of, however she will always qualify if with a 'but'...or, 'you are not perfect', etc, etc. She still has not, 1 year later, fully taken responsibility.

About 2 months ago she started clubbing again, hanging out and either staying out for the weekend, or coming home at 3am. I started to check my phone and text records, saw some things that seemed odd. I called one number and a guy answered. I asked him if he knew, 'so and so', and he said, 'no'...I told him how I have text and phone records to my 'wife',sooo, do you know, 'so and so'..? 'Yes', he said, I know 'so and so'. He said how she said she was single and he was sorry and didn't know she was married and I will never hear from him again.

So I asked my 'wife' about this guy, 'Jason'....but in a text to her and I said 'Jason' said hi. The next text I get was from her g/f, and she said how 'Jason' liked her not my wife, and was trying to date her, not my wife and how I messed it up, how I should say sorry to him, etc. Needless to say I lit into her, but I digress.

Between talking to my wifes friend and my wife, face to face, their stories had holes in it. My wife said he was gay, her friend said he was trying to pick her up. Her friend said they met on saturday night at a local club, my wife said they met on that friday at another place. Plus the guy said he knows my wife from the club. He said they did not have sex..if that is a plus.

Point I am making is she is still lying and doing lord knows what. I told her I have no control what she does and she can club all she wants, whatever, just how she cant disrespect me and roll in at 3am. She has to stay over someones house, whomever she is hanging with. I locked the doors last time and she slept out in the driveway.

I do not think I will ever trust her again, and now I find myself checking phone records all the time.

I know this is a real long message, I hope not too boring, I just wanted to update you guys...its not going well.

It's time to plan B

If she wants the single life she doesn't get to have a family.

Plain and simple./

I have to look up that Plan B...been so long I've forgotten.

Yes, it is time for Plan B. You should get yourself fired up for one week or 2(however long it will take you to get ready) of Plan A so the last impression she has of you is a great one. It will be really hard. Then you hit her with the Plan B and you try to recover yourself.

You need to find an intermediary and write a Plan B letter. Get all of your finances set, etc. Plan B means NO CONTACT. Do this PITCH BLACK.

Plan B

Plan B. I'm amazed you lasted over a year without it! One year later and she's telling guys at clubs she's single?

Plan B her, and HARD.

codtej,

I'm so sorry to hear things have not gotten better for you. Sounds like you've just about reached the end of your rope.

Time to buckle down and make some plans.

Plan A,,,did you do a great one?

Plan B,,,are you ready for this?

Since it's been awhile, read up on Dr Harley's description of Plan A & Plan B here

I just finished reading your story and wow I'm so sorry for what you're going through or should I say what you gone through was hoping you could give an update and you're doing well.

So sorry, codtej.

Your story strikes a chord with me. Your WW may be similar to my ex-wife, in that she's not necessarily addicted to or fogged out by any one OM, but just craves being single.

It came down to a choice for us: either give up the clubs, nights out with the "girls", and single lifestyle. Or split up, which meant divorce for us.

When I discovered cybersex and exchanged nude photos with some guy she met at an out of town wedding party weekend just a week later, the die was cast.

Hope your situation turns out better, but going clubbing until 3:00 A.M. and staying over with her "girlfriend" is not protecting your marriage and extremely poor boundaries. You cannot continue to exist like this.

Plan B. You deserve it. You need it.

Plan B.

She needs a cold hard reality check.

This thread is over a year old. I think Mitt was just getting caught up on it.

Although I'd love to hear an update. I'd like to see if he ever made it into Plan B.