I am still going strong,IN PLAN B. I should rename it PLAN ME. I have told my WH family about threats.They are loyal to him at the end, so I am avoiding them all. I emailed and left messages for my lawyer about contempt, but no answer back yet. I am taking walks with baby, fishing with older boys, and reading. I push the baby outside on the swing and he laughs and I smile. It feels a little better. I still panic sometimes , when I feel like he is gone forever, but I just try to do something else. I cannot stay stuck.I am planning a three day weekend with the boys near where I want to move. I want to take them to the zoo, and get outta this house and this town for a bit.

Good for you TA! Keep on keeping on!

ba

Thank you BA! Today I went to a job interview and actually got the job! It is oncall, but it is something. This Saturday we are leaving to the town I hope to call home. My two teens are having such a hard time. They do not want to move , but I do. I no longer belong here. I am not running , just saving my sanity. I try to explain to them that I need this, I need it. I want to go to the store and not see OW, I want to got to the Y and not see OW, I want to drop my kids off at school and not be right across the street from OW.I want to go to the mall and not be at OW job.I want to go to Chucky Cheese and not see OW. I want to walk my dog,and my sons and not bump into OW. OW and my WH have stolen my freedom. I want it back. I want peace of mind. Every time my WH comes to visit my children , he sees OW. I need to be away from that. I do not want to be exposed to this any longer. If anyone can tell me how to tell my kids please do? They tell me they should not lose their friends or home because their dad had an affair? MOM you are stronger than that? But I know I am broken, I need to heal. It is not about WH anymore, though I miss and love him... I have to love me and the children more...

Torn, congrats on your job!

This hasn't been exposed to any of the kids yet? You mentioned having the two teens, what are the ages of the other four?

If their ages range you may want to tell them separately so that you can tell them in an age appropriate way. For example, you can tell the younger kids that the reason for WH leaving was that he has a girlfriend and it is wrong for married people to do that.

Dr Harley has explained on his radio show how important it is to expose affairs to kids or else they may blame themselves for the tension/problems in the M so it would be good to make sure all of your kids know that none of this is their fault.

Susie Q- Ty! I have exposed to the 21,19,15,13,6 year olds. They all know . The problem I'm having is that they do not want to move, the 2 teenage boys. The two older girls are in college and they tend to side with their dad anyways. The two little ones don't have much to say , since they are still small. I wish I did not have to move, but I know I need to.

OK, gotcha!

Now, have you talked to your lawyer about moving?

Well, they're 13 and 15 so, by definition, they don't typically agree with anything their mom says. Their being teenage boys doesn't help, either! I know, I was one once

An honest discussion with them, possibly saying what you said in your post, may be warranted. You may be surprised.

Guessing that the oldest two are his and 13 & 15 are his step-children?

How far away is the move? I don't blame you a bit, by the way and think it's time for a little peace, wouldn't you say?

Oops! Totally missed this part. Probably shouldn't be posting when it is this late

When do you plan to move?

Yes, the two older girls are his, two teen boys are mine , two little are ours, but I have gray hair @ 34 so they are all MINE!LOL! I have not talked to my damn lawyer yet, I am still waiting for a call and no response. I am upset because I emailed and left him messages about what happened Friday and still nothing! That aside, maybe you can tell me, My WH left the state, I am moving south 2 1/2 hours , closer to my home state and where he is at now residing. I can still drive up here for court. So do you think I would have a problem?

So you're moving to the same town that he's in now or did I misread that?

No idea if you can "transfer" your case or not. Surely there's some means for doing that.

Me and the wife both have a little gray--since probably our late 20s. It doesn't bother me one bit-- I'll take quantity over quality any day and I'm slowly losing on the quantity part!

Ok. I will explain. We both are from one state. We moved 5 hours away to where I live now to a neighboring state. When he left he went back to our home state with his parents. I am planning on moving within the same state I currently live in but closer to WH by 2 1/2 hours. Is that better? I suck at this sometimes.

Oh ok, makes sense now. A new start sounds good, hope you have a good trip over there.

Me too! I really need a break. Also I am seeing a couple homes for rent, swimming at pool with kids , and taking kids to the zoo. All things to keep me from breaking Plan B!

My sisters (both very close in age to me but don't have any gray) both joke that I started getting grays earlier than them due to my teenaged daughter But seriously, I can understand why your boys wouldn't want to move but just keep reassuring them that it is the best decision for the family and they will make new friends.

So sorry to hear that the OW is part of your Y, works at the mall, etc. I don't think I could handle that either! And if it turns out the your H ends the A and comes back, you would need to move anyway so yes, it sounds like a great idea! If your H coming for visitation also gives him a chance to visit the OW, then it's just another good reason to move as well. Just to be sure just run it by your lawyer first...

Susie - Ty! As soon as I make a firm decision I will talk to my lawyer. I just want to make sure that this is where I want to move/
But let me tell you about today! WOHOOOOO! My lawyer never called me but today I get a letter stamped client copy from my lawyer to my WH lawyer and boy did it put him and OW in their place.It read that I was being harassed by WH and OW to have police called when in reality I was only enforcing my temp order provision that the minor children were not to be at OW home. It states that if threats and harassment continue we will be going for contempt. That I am to be left in peace and if not we will be seeking orders of protection. Period. I was so shocked, but happy that I have a bulldog of a lawyer. My lawyer put a sticky note on the letter that says " I got your back and the kids!" WOW! I always tell my lawyer and his assistant, I need you guys to back us up! They sure did!But now I know the WH is going to be furious and I don't know what he will try next. I am happy though I am growing a backbone finally..

And I am leaving town in two days.. hopefully I wont be here when the s$%%T hits the fan. Today I did some more exposing to my neighbors and boy oh boy where they upset and shocked. I was fighting with my lawn mower and my neighbors came to help, and they said , We know whats going on and we are here to help. I said okay if you know the OW parents or family , please tell them to contact me . Well they know OW ex inlaws and ow ex husband.. they will talk to them asap. TY

Wow I wish I had your lawyer!!

Its funny Mehr, he is a little man, soft-spoken,but do not mess with his clients. I do not understand his not answering calls or emails, but he is a bulldog. Funny because my WH got a well known lawyer, and boy did he brag .. but at the end of the day, the court order of no OW contact with my kids stuck. So I am doing a happy dance. I know that whenever I get snail mail form my lawyer, my WH gets a copy the next day.. so tomorrow I am dreading his stupidness...

Oh, he will be hopping mad that he cannot rub his wayward affair in his kids face and say that it is just perfect.

Good for you!

Now is a good time to discover t hat your phone or email doesn't work...

Oh yes, my phone and email fell in the toilet! LOL! I leave tomorrow on our little mommy and boys trip! I am super excited!