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My WH did suggest similar, apparently ginge said that she wasn't that keen but she'd do it for him!!
Yes cos that would have helped!
Me 50
WH 52
WH in A 6 yrs in total, last 5 yrs JGF (Not!)
DD final 1.12.10
NC letter sent 3.12.10
Working at being the best I can be, the rest is up to you.
He is still a plonker, but he is my plonker!
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Me: I will file at some point if you don't end your affairs and come home. Just in case you didn't know
WW: WHY?
Me = BH
DDay Dec. 2010
D filed Oct 2011 (by me)
D final 3/16/12
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What would you do if you were not afraid?
"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.
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Okay, I have to add a couple...
"I'd never leave you if you were pregnant, maybe we should try to have a baby".
But my current fave...
"Because you always had a great meal on the table when I came home, and that is not what I wanted". Can I guess domestic support is not a top EN, or is skanky a rubbish cook?
Me (BW): 35
Married 1999 with no kids, DDay July 2011, OC born September 2012, Divorce final November 2012.
WXH (Gollum) is corrupted by his A, and now forever bound to it.
Plan B has set me free.
"Mourn the man he was. Know the man he is."
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Okay, I have to add a couple...
"I'd never leave you if you were pregnant, maybe we should try to have a baby".
But my current fave...
"Because you always had a great meal on the table when I came home, and that is not what I wanted". Can I guess domestic support is not a top EN, or is skanky a rubbish cook? I received similar fog babble from my H. When my h was fogged he actually complained that I kept the house TOO clean and tidy. So I stopped doing it and now he complains about the mess.
AKA: hurtagainbydavid, hurtingstill
Me: BW/WW 36
Him: WH 37 (2time2timer)
DD x 2: 8 and 5
H's 1st affair D-day: 10/2001
H's 2nd affair D-day: 1/16/11
My threesome w/H and OM: 7/21/11
Trying to fix the mess I helped make.
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Okay, I have to add a couple...
"I'd never leave you if you were pregnant, maybe we should try to have a baby".
But my current fave...
"Because you always had a great meal on the table when I came home, and that is not what I wanted". Can I guess domestic support is not a top EN, or is skanky a rubbish cook? I received similar fog babble from my H. When my h was fogged he actually complained that I kept the house TOO clean and tidy. So I stopped doing it and now he complains about the mess. LOL! Shows you can't win when waywards have weak boundaries with OPs.
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What would you do if you were not afraid?
"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.
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Oooh just thought of one.
So my h and I were supporting his best friend's widow and her two young children by dropping by and visiting when we could so she wouldnt be lonely.
The following exchange happened just after I had found out about their affair, but before they knew I had found out.
H tells me he is going to football practice, so I drop in on my friend the blackwidow.
Surprise! WH is there but this is how he greets me.
While sat back in an armchair, arms and legs spread like he owns the place, he goes:
"Tut! This is why it's bad for visitors come when the kids are going to bed. They're going to play up now."
Hello Fog brain!!!! You two are not a couple, they're not your kids, I am your wife and YOU ARE A VISITOR TOO!!!!
Dont know how I kept my mouth shut (actually it fell open a bit)Only the fact I didnt want them suspicious while I was snooping
What would you do if you were not afraid?
"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.
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Oh Indie, how did you keep your mouth shut??? You sure have willpower. At least when I was with WH in Australia I was still in the fog and didn't know what was going on, thought it was all just me. Now as the fog lifts I reflect on just how much fogbabble my WH was giving...
As WH was saying goodbye at the airport to board flight to London.
Me: "You don't have to get on that plane you know, you could stay and we could make each other happy, the past four days show that".
WH: "But I promised my boss I would go back, and you know I am a man of my word"
Me: No words, but mouth fell open as he has broken marriage vows.
WH noticing my reaction: "Well, I am usually a man of my word".
Me (BW): 35
Married 1999 with no kids, DDay July 2011, OC born September 2012, Divorce final November 2012.
WXH (Gollum) is corrupted by his A, and now forever bound to it.
Plan B has set me free.
"Mourn the man he was. Know the man he is."
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My favorite one was when my the WW told me....
"Why did I cheat? I had an affair because I wanted to prove I was grown up, I wanted to prove I was mature"
Uhhhh yeah. ok
V
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The thing that I find even more astounding than the babble that they spew is that when the fog starts to lift they will have absolutely NO memory of saying any of these things.
My FWH flat out denies any of it and seems to be pretty shocked by what he said.
Is he gaslighting me?
ME: BW
HIM: FWH
Married 18 yrs
DDay 09/2008 and 12/2008
Recovered
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Maybe they just don't want to remember saying/doing something so horrible.
One year becomes two, two years becomes five, five becomes ten and before you know it, you've wasted your whole life on a problem you can't solve. That's one way to spend your life. -rwinger
I will not spend my life this way.
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The thing that I find even more astounding than the babble that they spew is that when the fog starts to lift they will have absolutely NO memory of saying any of these things.
My FWH flat out denies any of it and seems to be pretty shocked by what he said.
Is he gaslighting me? Apparently quite normal, or so I have heard. My mom doesn't remember some of the things she said or did either. It is like invasion of the body snatchers.
BW(Me)aka Scotty:37 DSx2: 10,12 DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09 Plan B Dec18/09 Personal R in works Scotty's THING  Newly Betrayed click herePraying for walls and doors. Thanx MM “Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.” ? Maya Angelou PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION THANK YOU
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My favorite one was when my the WW told me....
"Why did I cheat? I had an affair because I wanted to prove I was grown up, I wanted to prove I was mature"
Uhhhh yeah. ok
V Oh Celtic, this made me laugh, but I hope you were able to recognise it as nonsense at the time. Not always easy when they are spewing babble. Sounds like WW was trying to play dress ups! I have another... they are rolling back to me now as I process things in Plan B! WH on day he steps off plane in Australia to tell me it is over: "I am no longer sexually attracted to you" To any loving spouse I have to say my reaction was lost for words... ouch!!! WH two weeks later taking me out on a date to discuss reconciliation: "Maybe we should get in the backseat (in car at the time) like old times". Lets just say I proved his original theory wrong  But after going back to London and OW and dumping me again... Me: "But what about our kissing, our intimacy before you left? WH: "Oh,I knew that was going to bite me in the a#*!. That was just pressure from my family". Funny I didn't see his sisters in the back seat.... Oh, and when I raised a great memory of a sexy weekend we had... WH: "Not everything is about sex you know". Guess he had to change his tune once we proved that he was sexually attracted to me!
Me (BW): 35
Married 1999 with no kids, DDay July 2011, OC born September 2012, Divorce final November 2012.
WXH (Gollum) is corrupted by his A, and now forever bound to it.
Plan B has set me free.
"Mourn the man he was. Know the man he is."
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The thing that I find even more astounding than the babble that they spew is that when the fog starts to lift they will have absolutely NO memory of saying any of these things.
My FWH flat out denies any of it and seems to be pretty shocked by what he said.
Is he gaslighting me? I don't think so. I think after exposure they are scrambling to make sense of the fantasy as much as we are... In a different way. My fww doesn't remember things she said after DDay, but doesn't deny she said them. She admitted that the experience was so intense and that she just was so in the habit of spewing whatever out of her mouth that more often than not she would simply talk without thinking. BS's on the other hand are moving in the exact opposite direction... The exposure causes us to be extremely precise in our speech.
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May 8th- Dday "it was only oral on him for last couple of years"
May 9th- day after dday "we've been sleeping together for many years"
"he made an ultimatum that for this weekly pay it must include (oral sex)" turns out he never said this.
"you should know that over the years, it was 90% of the time me taking care of him and 10% intercourse" yippee!!
"please consider I was using him as much as he was me" terrific image for me to think about
Life keeps on slipping, slipping, slipping into the fuuuu-ture.
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I like this one:
"He hit all the right angles... I had an orgasm 70% of the time...."
One night I had just about enough and said meet me in the bedroom...
Rocked her world and said... "An Orgasm like that?"
Her reply? "in retrospect, I never had an orgasm with him before, it was never like that, and he has always been boring compared to you (in bed)....
... 3 years and the hysterical bonding hasn't stopped. I fear I've created a monster....
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The thing that I find even more astounding than the babble that they spew is that when the fog starts to lift they will have absolutely NO memory of saying any of these things.
My FWH flat out denies any of it and seems to be pretty shocked by what he said.
Is he gaslighting me? I don't think so. I think after exposure they are scrambling to make sense of the fantasy as much as we are... In a different way. My fww doesn't remember things she said after DDay, but doesn't deny she said them. She admitted that the experience was so intense and that she just was so in the habit of spewing whatever out of her mouth that more often than not she would simply talk without thinking. BS's on the other hand are moving in the exact opposite direction... The exposure causes us to be extremely precise in our speech. Thanks, Karma, Scotland and CV. FWH seems sincere in not remembering but I just struggle with that. Seems odd to me. Just remembered this one: FWH: She was there for me. Where were YOU? Me (BS): I was home taking care of the kids and cleaning your dirty toilets and knickers. Where were you? .......Silence........
ME: BW
HIM: FWH
Married 18 yrs
DDay 09/2008 and 12/2008
Recovered
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CV-
You made me blush.
mike
Life keeps on slipping, slipping, slipping into the fuuuu-ture.
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... 3 years and the hysterical bonding hasn't stopped. I fear I've created a monster....  I have no fear of "competing." I'm pretty sure anything I do beats 5-10 minutes in a mini-storage unit... /facepalm
"An expert is a person who has made all the mistakes that can be made in a very narrow field." - Niels Bohr
"Smart people believe weird things because they are skilled at defending beliefs they arrived at for non-smart reasons." - Michael Shermer
"Fair speech may hide a foul heart." - Samwise Gamgee LOTR
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