http://www.veromi.net/processor.asp
intelius.com
peoplefinder.com
whitepages.com
anywho.com

You can find local PI's right here: PInow.com

when you get his address, you can go to zillow.com to map out his house.

Veromi returns an interesting result.

I contacted a couple of pi's, one supposedly with 12 years experience and a former federal officer 23 years, who told me, there was no way to determine solely from a name an individuals marital status.

You can hire a PI to find out who he is and do a background check on him. It is pretty routine. Just keep trying until you figure it out. Also, be sure and check facebook and see if you can find something there.

Also, intelius and whitepages.com both have reverse cell phone look ups. They are hit or miss, but it is worth a try. Usually a PI can ID someone with just the cell phone #.

Unbelieveable,

I googled "veromi review" and found http://people-search-services-review.toptenreviews.com/peoplefinders-review.html

Which pointed to Peoplefinders as their #1 most comprehensive results search engine.

And lo and behold, discovered OM's wife - for free.

Wow.

Thank you, MelodyLane.

Good job, my friend!!

Wife on Facebook "friended" to OM.

This keeps getting better and better.

Copy all of his contacts into a WORD doc tonight and save it, please. See if you can ID his parents and other family members.

Good job on sleuthing!!

OM Married, possibly with a child. (Shared, pic of young child "friended" by both wife and OM Facebook pages.

Sad.

DD, take it from me, the first days/weeks/months after exposure may be hell, and all may seem lost, but it WILL kill the affair.

Right now you have NO CHANCE of saving your marriage, there is a 3rd party, you have NO MARRIAGE. You keep on this path and you WILL get divorce.

When the affair is killed, you actually stand a chance to safe your marriage. It is no guarantee, of course not, but you have a chance then, you don't right now.

Don't be vindictive with exposure, do it in a loving but determined way.

And absolutely include OMs family. It wasn't until I did that that I actually killed the affair, all of a sudden it came on everybody from all sides, and the fantasy was over. It may take some time, and you will be the source of their anger, but telling the truth is reality, they can not run away forever.

But the manner of exposure is very important, loving, but determined.

And if it makes you feel any better, the Mayo clinic also recommends exposure to kill affairs and work on the marriage.

I can't let this pass.

This is an INCREDIBLY rude post to make to someone who put in time here to try and help you. We all have children and jobs and housework to take care of and we are not obliged to come here, but we do so because we have known the pain of affairs and we want to help you stop this affair and stop the break up of your family. What you have done so far has only ensured the break up of your family if you carry on. We have been through the steps: traced the OP and informed the spouse, and in many case that exposure alone has ended the affair. If it hasn't we have done a proper Plan B. We haven't lived in the house and been civil to our spouse while they continue to flaunt the affair in our faces. Your wife is doing that with your approval, since you have decided to protect her from exposure to OMW. You have, in fact, given your wife approval to sleep with another man.

You would not be in your position now had you read the many threads here and learned from their exposures (I believe you said you had been lurking, in your first post).

Some of us have made terrible mistakes and suffered and learned from them, and we come here to help others like you. How DARE you tell SusieQ that if she doesn't like how you post, to take a hike!

I hope now you are beginning to see how your spinelessness has led to your eating the crap your wife has dished up for you. Whether you act on exposure or not, you owe Susie an apology. And when you go to Walmart this weekend, buy a dose of humility. It will serve you well.

Okay, NOW we're rolling! It was pretty clear OM was married, since your WW is still home.

Keep going, DD. Compile your list. Copy his FB friends to a Word doc.

Well, heck, DD. I don't have any PI experience at all, and I could have told you that! Of course you can't! Common sense will tell you that!

Be clear: the info you need is not going to be handed to you on a silver platter. You're going to have to roll up your sleeves and do some work, here.

BTW - I'm one of the people MelodyLane was talking about when she was talking about exposure. My H's affair was killed the DAY it was exposed. Killed DEAD.

Your WW's may take a tad longer because it's become entrenched. I do think you'll get your WW back. But you've got to follow the steps and stop fighting us.

Cane,

It is not "we" to whom I am speaking, it is you.

Thank you for your opinion, your altruism is evident.

In the future, you might want to consider your own tone in your initial as well as subsequent communications, the proverbial, "remove the stick from your own eye, before focusing on others" will serve you well.

If you feel that you are wasting your time, by all means stop doing so and ignore this thread.

I will not be offended.

DD, Sugarcane has been here a long time and is trying to be helpful. It gets frustrating when members are trying to give you the tools to pick yourself up out of the ditch and bust up the affair.

You have the typical scared to act because of possible ramifications. She was trying to help you and you dismissed her.

It would be better for you to take in what others are saying rather than dismissing them so easily just because they're saying something you don't want to hear. If you don't want to listen, then just ignore them. But if you start waving your hand at a few members here and there, you'll find the number of posters wanting to help you diminishing in numbers very quickly.

Yep. And you just dismissed a couple of very big hitters, DD.

Assemble your most important tools for tackling your WWs affair. Those tools include people here.

I have been here for four years, I am well aware that I can ignore a poster if I'd like to.

But since I am rooting for your marriage, I choose to give you a gentle 2x4 to get you to answer the questions that you and I both know you were purposely trying to sidestep around.

Your response was uncalled for, especially given that you have just arrived here and you KNOW you were being evasive, and SC was right to call you out on it. If you continue to be so defensive & rude, you are going to lose out on some good resources here on this site.

BTW, I KNOW all about being scared and hand-wringing. Not only have I just gone through the nightmare of discovering affair # 3 & 4, exposure, but also going into Plan B and now Plan D. Through this process I have had wonderful friends that don't just tell me what I want to hear, but push me when things get tough and I need to act. That is true support and I am thankful for it.

Now you owe SC an apology. Good luck!

OK just some of my experience on taking advice on here. When I first starting getting advice. I was like my wife wouldn't go that far wouldn't do that. I acknowledged what was being said but did not take it to heart. Until it really starting getting worse. Listen to these vets from the get go. I do wonder if I had listened first and done exactly the steps that I was told to start doing when they told me to do it, if I would be where I am now. My wife filed for divorce. The OM was charged in past with electronic solicitation of a minor. She has custody, was playing family with my kids around this piece o'poo. Everything you get from here is awesome advice if you want to save your marriage listen please. If not don't. If your marriage can't be saved taking the steps and advice they tell you to will protect you and allow yourself to heal up and become a stronger person please listen before you get to where I am at.

"It is not 'we' to whom I am speaking, it is you"? What the heck does that mean? I spoke to you. Was that not clear?

My initial post to you was to tell you that you cannot Plan B whilst living in the house with your wife. Why should I tone that down?

It is YOU who needs to consider your tone when you are dismissing people who are here to help you. I don't have any stick in my eye. I have not dismissed the help of those who try to drag me out of the mess I am in in my marriage, and I never said that I was wasting my time.