My husband and I have been separated before. My daughter was 7 and I was pregnant with our second child. We were separated for almost a year and he dated a couple of other people. One he was dating before we separated and he basically left me for her I after I dug and found out about it. His job keeps him away from home a lot and that makes it easy to grow apart and it is happening again. It is difficult when he is 6 hours away and I work. I have already decided to turn in my 2 week resignation so I can devote more time to my family. I pray to God that this does not happen again. God wants our family to be together and God hates divorce. I do not want to put our children through this again. I hope the 40 Day Love Dare can bring us back together. I will not dig this time, though I have very strong suspicions. I don't know what to do. If he is with someone down there, I feel like it may be extremely difficult to win him back. He is already shutting me out. We only communicate through text messages and he shuts his phone off most of the time. Im pretty sure he has another phone. If I push, he will pull further back but I am at such a disadvantage. I have not eaten or slept in a week and a half since my suspicions began. I will be going to a doctor to find out about meds for my anxiety. This is taking a major physical towl on me. I cant tell my family or friends because they would automatically tell me to leave him. If there are any suggestions, let me know.

TRN,
I'm sorry you're here. I see you registered in 04. Did you post at that time? What was the title of your thread?

You have to dig otherwise, you're in denial. You do not deserve to be treated the way he has/is treating you.

Get yourself feeling emotionally better then you can start to take action. Melody Lane will be here soon to give you advice.
CT

We have had a very up and down relationship in the beginning. But since separating and reuniting 3 years ago, I was convinced that things were better. Things sure seemed better to me, as we don't fight and get along. I had total trust in him. He told me he was working constantly and had no time off so I believed him. Then I logged into his bank account and found that he has been all over the place, to bars and even a spa resort. He has been blowing all of his money, he makes a LOT, and partying. I was blind sided. I don't want to come this far, just to go down the same road. I feel like my only hope is to win him back so that he chooses me over whatever else he is doing. He admitted that the spa thing was a two night stand but I believe it is more. He came home after I confronted him and we talked about it. He was affectionate and seemed truly happy to be home with us. He told me he wasn't going to leave me, but now his phone is off, he is acting distant, and I don't know what to do.

trn, I would hire a PI and find out what he is doing. It is obvious he leads a secret second life. When you find out what he is doing, come back here and we will help you with next steps.

I contacted a PI and he basically told me what I already knew. That because of my husband's line of work, it would be almost impossible to find him and a waste of money. Also, I am pretty sure he has a pre paid phone so that is not possible to track either.

What does your H do?

He does field work so he is basically on a location in the middle of nowhere. The PI would have to sit and wait for him to leave, and if he is in another vehicle, he will not see him anyways.

What you could do is install spyware on his phone that has a built in GPS. It would show his location at all times and send you his texts, incoming and outcoming phone calls. What kind of phone does he have?

He has a Samsung, Galaxy I think, not sure but it is a smart phone. He has another phone and now leaves his other phone off. He hides the new phone and I have not seen it but I just have intuition. I feel so powerless in this situation. He has his money separate so I struggle financially. I have not and now he has completely cut me off. I have been chain smoking and not eating. I have not eaten in a week and a half. I can't handle not knowing anything and it is killing me.

I feel very torn right now between trying to win him back and being a door mat. I am trying the 40 day love dare. I actually sent him pics of me in lingerie today I don't know why but I just feel that something I say or do will trigger him to wake up and see what he is missing. Also on the love dare it says to do something unexpected so I did this. I have no contact with him other than text and email, if he is checking them and I don't know what to do. I feel so desperate.

Have you read His Needs, her Needs?