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She's doing good, thanks.
And yeah, I'm pretty sure she's taken note. YEAH ME!
BS - Me 36
WS - wife 34
Married 10 yrs
DDay - Early November 2010
WS filed Divorce 11/9/10
Divorce final 12/22/11
1 Corinthians 13:7: (LOVE) Beareth all things, believeth all things, HOPETH all things, endureth all things.
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She's doing good, thanks.
And yeah, I'm pretty sure she's taken note. YEAH ME!  
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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I haven't posted anything about this recently, because as I read your updates about seeing your WxW out, while you were both at bars, all I thought was, "WHo was taking care of DD?" Can you get more time with her?
And by being out at a park with a woman you met, does this mean you are dating? If it does, that's okay, I'm just curious.
BW(Me)aka Scotty:37 DSx2: 10,12 DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09 Plan B Dec18/09 Personal R in works Scotty's THING  Newly Betrayed click herePraying for walls and doors. Thanx MM “Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.” ? Maya Angelou PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION THANK YOU
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My work schedule, in addition to our communication issue, prevents me from more time at this point. The 2 night-out encounters were on Saturdays. I get DD every other Sunday and every wednesday.
The question about DD whereabouts is one that I can't answer. I've wondered the same thing since I knew DD wasn't with me. MIL? Friends? Other relatives of hers? IDK
And yes, I am dating. WOW! It felt good to actually say that!!!
BS - Me 36
WS - wife 34
Married 10 yrs
DDay - Early November 2010
WS filed Divorce 11/9/10
Divorce final 12/22/11
1 Corinthians 13:7: (LOVE) Beareth all things, believeth all things, HOPETH all things, endureth all things.
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And yes, I am dating. WOW! It felt good to actually say that!!! And this right here is where personal recovery takes you. Remember not that long ago stating that you wouldn't? Weird huh?
BW(Me)aka Scotty:37 DSx2: 10,12 DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09 Plan B Dec18/09 Personal R in works Scotty's THING Newly Betrayed click herePraying for walls and doors. Thanx MM “Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.” ? Maya Angelou PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION THANK YOU
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I finally got to the point where i feel its simply her loss. Its just time for me to move on. And yes, it does feel weird! Very weird!!!!
BS - Me 36
WS - wife 34
Married 10 yrs
DDay - Early November 2010
WS filed Divorce 11/9/10
Divorce final 12/22/11
1 Corinthians 13:7: (LOVE) Beareth all things, believeth all things, HOPETH all things, endureth all things.
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I finally got to the point where i feel its simply her loss. Its just time for me to move on. And yes, it does feel weird! Very weird!!!! I'm sure it feels weird. But it's totally logical considering the LOVE BANK theory. You did love her once. Never doubt that. You're not any sort of dummy for having loved her. She failed to protect the marriage and committed so many fouls and love-busters, that your love-bank balance is now far, far below the red line. Now that you are dating, be sure to remember all that MB has to offer. Dating = a healthy renter status. That's OK. Love-bank availability means you are open for business. Be smart. Keep posting from time to time. Have you read this thread ??? Optimism's divorce story ....... You should! Sept 2010 freshly divorced from a WW --- June 2012 freshly engaged to a terrific woman <~~~ A TRUE MB success story !!!
Last edited by Pepperband; 06/29/12 08:28 AM.
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Agree with Pep. Opt's story is a very good read with lots of excellent information. Keep following his story because he and his new GF (NG) were on the show and she is on board with MB. Very good.
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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I finally got to the point where i feel its simply her loss. Its just time for me to move on. And yes, it does feel weird! Very weird!!!! I'm sure it feels weird. But it's totally logical considering the LOVE BANK theory. You did love her once. Never doubt that. You're not any sort of dummy for having loved her. She failed to protect the marriage and committed so many fouls and love-busters, that your love-bank balance is now far, far below the red line. Now that you are dating, be sure to remember all that MB has to offer. Dating = a healthy renter status. That's OK. Love-bank availability means you are open for business. Be smart. Keep posting from time to time. Have you read this thread ??? Optimism's divorce story ....... You should! Sept 2010 freshly divorced from a WW --- June 2012 freshly engaged to a terrific woman <~~~ A TRUE MB success story !!!I wonder if it is the negative love bank or, as I've heard it described, embers waiting to be rekindled. And i never thought about love-bank availability part, either. It definitely makes me think. In some ways, i feel vulnerable because ive been by myself for so long. I didnt have a desire to date, therefore, there was no temptations. Now that I'm actively dating, I need to be careful not to move too fast. I met the girl my wxw saw me with about a month ago. We have started to spend a lot of time together. It feels good but i wonder is it too much too soon.
Last edited by marksaysay; 06/29/12 02:59 PM.
BS - Me 36
WS - wife 34
Married 10 yrs
DDay - Early November 2010
WS filed Divorce 11/9/10
Divorce final 12/22/11
1 Corinthians 13:7: (LOVE) Beareth all things, believeth all things, HOPETH all things, endureth all things.
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If you think it's too much too soon then it probably is.
Give yourself enough time to heal.
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Well, it all started in Oct. '10. Been divorced since Dec. '11. That's 18+ months. Maybe its just time.
BS - Me 36
WS - wife 34
Married 10 yrs
DDay - Early November 2010
WS filed Divorce 11/9/10
Divorce final 12/22/11
1 Corinthians 13:7: (LOVE) Beareth all things, believeth all things, HOPETH all things, endureth all things.
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Well, it looks like its been quite a while since I've been here. Just thought I'd give a quick update.
I'm still single but its by choice. Hadnt met anyone that ive been too crazy about. There's been some dating but nothing serious.
Right now, ive kinda submerged myself into music. I havent starting writing (I probably should, though). Right now, i do a lot of popular music. I play piano/keyboard and i sing and I've been approached with several band offers.
I do a lot of solo open mic nights and was asked if i would like to be on a local spotlight show on a local TV station.
It was weird! This guy just walked up and interrupted me after my second song. Anyway....i think i might do it. Who knows? I simply started do this music thing because i love it and I'm pretty good at it...
BS - Me 36
WS - wife 34
Married 10 yrs
DDay - Early November 2010
WS filed Divorce 11/9/10
Divorce final 12/22/11
1 Corinthians 13:7: (LOVE) Beareth all things, believeth all things, HOPETH all things, endureth all things.
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Mark, great job developing new passions! The music must be a wonderful outlet for your emotions...I know I personally turn to music when I have hard to express emotions, and really appreciate the artists who can so eloquently express our common human experiences. Makes me feel not so alone. Good luck to you!
Me, BS: 35
WxH: 36 "HAM" Hearts a mess
6yo DS (with WxH), 9 and 12yo DDs from first marriage
Discovered DH's affair in June, 2011
"I'm not having an affair, you're crazy." major gaslighting
Served with divorce papers on 2/3/12
Divorce final 7/29/2013
Living day by day, counting my blessings, loving my children
Personal Recovery well underway!
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New road has opened up to you Mark.....yay!
I wish you much joy with your music.
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Well, it looks like its been quite a while since I've been here. Just thought I'd give a quick update.
I'm still single but its by choice. Hadnt met anyone that ive been too crazy about. There's been some dating but nothing serious.
Right now, ive kinda submerged myself into music. I havent starting writing (I probably should, though). Right now, i do a lot of popular music. I play piano/keyboard and i sing and I've been approached with several band offers.
I do a lot of solo open mic nights and was asked if i would like to be on a local spotlight show on a local TV station.
It was weird! This guy just walked up and interrupted me after my second song. Anyway....i think i might do it. Who knows? I simply started do this music thing because i love it and I'm pretty good at it... So nice to hear from you Mark. Glad you're enjoying your music. How's your DD doing?
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Posts: 637
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Well, I just got off the phone and I have my first paying gig next Monday!!!
BTW, DD is doing well...
BS - Me 36
WS - wife 34
Married 10 yrs
DDay - Early November 2010
WS filed Divorce 11/9/10
Divorce final 12/22/11
1 Corinthians 13:7: (LOVE) Beareth all things, believeth all things, HOPETH all things, endureth all things.
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Well, my first gig is tomorrow night. I have 30 minutes to fill and I've narrowed my song choices down to 7. I will just prepare them all and just feel out the crowd.
I invited about 100 people via fb and word of mouth. Several have stated they would be attending. I am soooooooo excited!!!!
BS - Me 36
WS - wife 34
Married 10 yrs
DDay - Early November 2010
WS filed Divorce 11/9/10
Divorce final 12/22/11
1 Corinthians 13:7: (LOVE) Beareth all things, believeth all things, HOPETH all things, endureth all things.
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Yup. Enjoy and just keep plugging along performing and you will get better and better and get more people in your network of fans and musician friends.
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Reading, that's my plan. I can remember last October, I posted about going out doing karaoke with coworkers. Now I'm playing a gig!
BS - Me 36
WS - wife 34
Married 10 yrs
DDay - Early November 2010
WS filed Divorce 11/9/10
Divorce final 12/22/11
1 Corinthians 13:7: (LOVE) Beareth all things, believeth all things, HOPETH all things, endureth all things.
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