I don't think we have any active waywards posting. There are many stories here though where former waywards turned their lives around and who have solid marriages now, just read the boards.

Active waywards tend not to like it here. We don't take crap. They don't like that.

Research addiction and your wayturd will make sense.

migs, sad to hear that there are so many waywards ruining people's lives. everyday i hear a new story.

I used to listen to this Christian talk radio early in the morning while working, and I will never forget a business man who talked about his journey to the "other side" how he started out as a salesman at a company and how he was an honest person until he saw how the sales people would water down the product and sale them at full price, he decided to do the same thing.

He was telling how that decision was his slippery slide down the path of lying and stealing and into some type of scandal that ended with jail time for fraud.

Because he compromised his integrity and saw how much he could get for nothing which lead to him thinking he could do anything as long as he didn't get caught he was fine with it.



Also if you have not watched or heard of Devil's Advocate rent the movie because it's about that moment when you turn from being an honest and good person and do something that is morally corrupt it can and will lead to not so great things in your life.


Which brings me to THE SCREWTAPE LETTERS and the quotes from the book




A really great perspective on true Christians from the point of view of the devil.

�There are things for humans to do all day long without His minding in the least � sleeping, washing, eating, drinking, making love, playing, praying, working. Everything has to be twisted before it�s any use to us.�




�Never forget that when we are dealing with any pleasure in its healthy and normal and satisfying form, we are, in a sense, on the Enemy�s ground. I know we have won many a soul through pleasure. All the same, it is His invention, not ours. He made the pleasures: all our research so far has not enabled us to produce one. All we can do is to encourage the humans to take the pleasures which our Enemy has produced, at times, or in ways, or in degrees, which He has forbidden

Lost,

What's kind of weird is that in my sitch, my WXW chose the life you're living. Now she is the single mom with two boys to take care of, and I'm living the single life. She's exhausted.

It's almost like I should feel guilty, but she's the one who created this mess. And now her affair is over. It didn't even last a year post divorce.

All waywards are nuts.

TE

TE-

Wow, you shouldn't feel guilty at all! If she created the mess and had an A then she is paying the consequences now. Atleast she didn't take off and leave the kids with you to raise them by yourself. My WXH is in Ca and I am in IA where I am from, and have family, I raise our 3 boys. I am the exhausted one and he still tells me it is my fault bc I am the one who "ruined" the M for yrs before he found a "friend". He still claims he never had an A and that I deserve to suffer financially (bc he refuses to pay cs) bc I took the boys to Iowa. Well, I took them to a safe and stable place. His world is insane.

I do not feel sorry for waywards at ALL. Even if they ever come around and are sorry for what they did I still will not feel bad for the pain they might have gone through. I feel that if a wayward is going through tough times and having a lot of hurt and pain, good. I do not care. Maybe that sounds harsh, but you reap what you sow. The BS's are the ones who deserve compassion, not the wayward. I have made mistakes in my life and I paid the consequences, I was wayward for ONE night early in my first M and in the instant I was doing wrong my eyes were opened. I was never wayward again. I have NEVER done to my WXH what he did to me. If you are willing to commit the crime then do the effin time.

Yes, yes, yes! I wish no one else had to go through this, but it helps to know I'm not alone.

BobMo, I have a question for you. My WH has been involved in an affair for 3 1/2 years. OW lives across the country, so it's all fantasy and romance. They've both had spouses shouldering all the garbage while they run away on vacation together. I found out a year into it (our story sounds a lot like yours in many ways). I was devastated, but surprised that I didn't want a divorce. I didn't want to lose him or break up our family. Put everything into it for a year. He saw her a few times, stayed in contact, but after a year he broke it off and was amazing for a few months. She kept after him. He finally left (Oct 2010), but said his heart was still with us. He has gone gradually darker and darker. Almost came home in July and Dec 2011; both times she talked him out of it. Now she is insisting he file for divorce. He is being awful about pushing it through - threatening me if I don't sign. Not sure, but I think she is filing too.

Is there any hope of him turning around at this point? Did you try to get your family back when you "saw the light" even after a divorce? I don't know what to do. We've been married 22 years and have 4 children. One is 19 but it's still killing him. The other 3 are still at home. Would you try to keep up any contact with him? Hope something gets through to his heart one day? Or would you do a dark plan B and if he's going to turn around he's on his own?

He says he never loved me, I am horrible, our kids will be fine, I'm a drama queen if I ever suggest otherwise, the other woman is so amazing and wonderful and fun to be around, blahblahblah.

Thank you for your honesty and openness. It's helpful to have a glimpse of what might be going on inside his mind and heart. It is like an out of control addiction, and he talks like he simply has no choice but to destroy his family and run after this woman. Who, incidentally, is a person I cannot believe any man would want, let alone leave his family for. So sad.

You did see BOBMO hasn't posting anything after 1/21/12, correct? So I don't know if he will be back or ever comes back to the boards anymore.

Read this it may help with your questions Inside the Wayward Mind

Here's another good thread by a FWH and his FBW also responded on the thread.

It was an Ordinary Day Here by GloveOil

No, I didn't notice that. Thank you. I'll read the link.

I wonder the same thing. I'm the BW, mother to our 5 children, he left me for OW (who has 2 children)-- claiming she is the one who "really" understands him after he spent 2 months texting her (a woman he knew from junior high!) It has ripped our lives apart. He claims it doesn't hurt our children at all. That it is all my fault because I wasn't a better wife. We've been through this hell for a year and a half now. He filed for divorce last fall and it's still dragging on. He initially filed a bunch of abusive claims trying to say that I wasn't a fit parent and shouldn't have custody, while he spent ALL our money that he had moved into a private account on him and OW to my horror. I get no CS, no Spousal support, he quit his job and is living off of OW. And I'm struggling to try and find a job and some way to finish college (he won't file last years taxes and apparently didn't do withholdings so we owe! He spent it ALL.) while raising 5 children alone now that I've been given primary custody.

I hate that in a month and a half I will have to send my 4 oldest children to live with him and OW for 6 weeks. The thought makes me sick to my stomach.

HFC- I am so sorry to hear about what your WH is doing! That is terrible. He sounds worse than my ex! And I thought my ex was the worst of the worst!

Your children are definitely hurt by what he is doing. He is reckless and cares only about himself and his fantasy. If you don't mind me asking, why do you have to leave 4 of your children with him and his POSOW for 6 weeks?

We have a formal parenting plan through the court. His timesharing includes 6 weeks of their summer vacation + alternating spring + fall break/ Christmas break by year. I requested relocation to move out of New Mexico back to Ohio where we own a house jointly that I am trying to refi in my own name as part of the divorce, and the day after I left he sent me notice he is moving in with OW in Colorado.

Did you not put it in your D agreement your kids can't be around OW?

The judge didn't even care that WH spent over $65k in 4 months time--ALL of our assets--while I was at food pantries and trying to get food stamps to provide for our 5 children which included him writing checks out to the OW for thousands of dollars at a time. Things like them not being around OW weren't allowed into the parenting plan. I really wish they were.

Sorry that sucks!!

I agree, it does. She has kids, too. My kids will go there this summer to their house with her 2 kids plus her ex-stepson that she has part of the year, and be squished into their craziness. She has her kids alternating daycare with super scheduled when they aren't with their dad 50% timeshare. My kids have never met her or her children (thank goodness so far!) and will be forced into a new "family" and I have no clue how to prepare them for that because he hasn't told them he is living with her.

I know this sucks and since you have no choice but to let them go.

Are you in Plan B with your ex? How do the kids feel about going?